Things to Remember
by reesepuff
Summary: "Young, Hispanic female, trauma to the head and abdominal region." One paramedic informed the others as they carefully laid the teenager onto a gurney and began to push her towards the ambulance. The girls' eyelids fluttered in confusion. "She's conscious!" One called out."Stay with me! Right here, look at me, stay with me!" Brittana fic (no character death)
1. Prologue

**A/N: **So, I've been reading tons of stories on this site for a while now but have only just had the time and inspiration to actually post something of my own. So this is my first fic (so take it easy on me please!).

All mistakes are mine!

This story is rated T for now but **WILL BE CHANGING TO M LATER ON**

I REPEAT: WILL BE CHANGING TO AN **M RATED STORY** (but not for a couple chapters).

Warnings: Umm, there will be mentions of underage drinking but nothing continuous…that's all I can think of for now, if something else ever pops up I'll be sure to put it in a note at the beginning of the chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything from it, if I had it would've been all about Brittana, not Rachel Berry :/

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**Things to Remember**

_**Prologue:**__**The Crash**_

Glass flew in all directions as the grill of the semi-truck smashed viciously into the smaller vehicle; slamming it on the back right side and sending the silver Malibu spinning off the road where the front end crashed head on into the guard rail.

The truck driver leapt from his cab and rushed towards the Malibu.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" The truck driver called out to the driver of the Malibu.

There's no response.

Through the shattered drivers' side window the truck driver could see the other driver. A young Latina girl sat with her head leaning back against the head rest, a deployed airbag only half inflated. Blood slid down her face from a large cut near her hairline.

"Oh God," the truck driver hurriedly pulled out his cell phone and dialed rapidly.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance! There's been a car accident on West Robb Avenue! The other driver is hurt bad!"

"Were you involved in the accident, sir?"

"Yes but I'm fine, the other driver is still in her car and she's bleeding badly!" The truck driver tried in vain to pry open the driver's door but the right side of the car had become rippled on impact. He ran around to the other side to find the passenger door to find it too jammed shut.

"Are there any passengers in the vehicle?"

"No, just her."

"Is the driver conscious?"

"I don't think so, her eyes are closed! I don't know!"

"Okay, stay calm sir. Can you tell if the driver is breathing?"

"The door won't open, I can't get to her, I don't know! What do I do?"

"Please stay calm, there is an ambulance on the way, it'll be there shortly. Is the car stable? Are there any flames?"

"No, no fires. I think it's okay."

"Okay, can you tell me what kind of injuries the driver has?"

"She's bleeding from her head. I can't see anything else."

Ambulance sirens rang out in the distance, emergency vehicles raced around the bend in the road and responders hurried to secure the scene.

The truck driver was taken by EMTs to be checked out while other responders worked to cut away the door and extract the other driver.

"Young, female, trauma to the head and abdominal region." One paramedic informed the others as they carefully laid the teenager onto a gurney and began to push her towards the ambulance.

Once loaded in the vehicle, EMTs busied themselves to stabilize her condition.

The girls' eyelids fluttered in confusion.

"She's conscious!" One called out.

"Can you hear me?" The EMT flashed a light to her eyes. "Can you tell me your name?"

The girl blinked slowly, losing focus.

"Stay with me! Right here, look at me, stay with me!"

Brown eyes rolled back and closed despite the EMTs' directions.

"Lost consciousness. Oxygen mask!"

The EMT ordered and his assistant obliged.

The ambulance raced to reach the hospital.

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**A/N: I know this was super short but it's just the prologue, I'll put the first actual chapter up in just a bit as soon as I double check everything in it. I'll be adding more chapters quickly in the beginning because I have a good idea of what will be happening and because I'd like to build interest. How are you supposed to know if you want to read this story without at least a couple chapters to decide? Hope you enjoy! Feel free to review!**


	2. Waking Up

**A:N** **Like I said, the first couple chapters will be coming quickly. I'm not sure exactly how long most chapters will be or how many chapters there will be, I'm still planning this out . Here's the first actual chapter, I wanted it to be separate from the prologue. Thoughts are italicized. All mistakes are still mine, please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :/**

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**Things to Remember**

**Chapter One: **_**Waking Up**_

_ Light._ That is the first thing I recognize as I open my eyes. Light, harsh and glaring, too bright. I squeeze my lids shut again.

For a long moment my head is empty. My mind is silent, only the sound of my own breathing fills the silence echoing in my skull. Soft and shallow.

I wait for thoughts to come but they don't. My mind is blank. My memories have gone and confusion has settled in their place.

My senses return slowly, muddled.

I hear a faint beeping.

_Where am I?_

This is the first thought that flows into my brain, barely recognizable.

Slowly, carefully, I reopen my eyes, squinting against the fluorescent lights that shine down on me.

_White ._I think. _ Everything is white._

Then I think again as shades of gray, shadows maybe, begin to take shape.

Uncertainly I pick out other colors; black, dark blue, red, yellow, among others. Everything is blurry, floating, moving, swaying.

It nauseates me to my core and I'm forced to close my eyes once again.

I replay the memory of what I've just seen in my head, as it is the only image I have stored.

My first question has not even been answered when others begin to take shape in my mind as well.

_Why am I here? What am I doing? How did I get here?_

These riddles bounce around, fighting over each other for top priority.

Then another comes that blows the others away completely.

_Who am I?_

I swallow hard and panic rises in my throat as I wait for an answer, but nothing fills in the blanks.

_My name is…I don't know. How can I not know?_

The panic worsens.

I become aware of the pounding of my heart; the increased speed of the faint beeping that seems to be growing louder.

_What is that?_ I wonder.

I decide to open my eyes and look around again.

I am glad to see that things have a more definite shape this time. No more swaying but still blurry.

_An improvement, _I tell myself.

For the first time I become alert of my body, lying down, covered with a scratchy material.

_A blanket,_ I realize.

I take a system check. No pain. _Good._ I attempt to wiggle my toes and they respond, I roll both ankles perfectly fine. I bend my knees slightly, and move my arms under the blankets, grasping the cool sheets beneath me.

_No problems._ I tell myself.

Unsurely, I turn my neck sideways, looking toward the beeping sound, which has slowed.

My eyes rest on a medium sized rectangular screened box.

_A heart monitor._

I stare at it blankly for a moment.

_A hospital, that's where I am, in a hospital bed._

Feeling slightly worried by this new information I sit up slowly and take in the rest of my surroundings.

The room has white walls and is bathed in sunlight that floods in from two large windows in the wall to the right of my bed. A tall brown door remains closed in the right corner of the room and another is closed on the left wall. The only furniture are two black chairs and a low, white table pushed up against the wall opposite my bed, covered with what looked like magazines.

An uncomfortable ache begins to spread in my forehead.

_What do I even look like?_ This thought startles me, and like the others, no answer is given.

I start to examine myself closer, staring down at my hands, observing fingers with nails perfectly trimmed and shaped. Long locks of wavy hair on my shoulder catch my attention, a dark black color that shines when the sun coming in the windows catches it.

Tenderly, I reach up and touch my face, my eyes dart around the room, looking for a reflective surface but none are found.

My fingertips find a small tube that I hadn't noticed before. It ran across my face, entering both my nostrils.

_It's helping me breath. Do I need help to breathe? _

I consider removing the tube but decide to leave it just in case.

My mind still feels like a confused mess with no clear understanding.

I push myself to remember something, anything, but no memories come. They float out of my reach like unruly butterflies.

A sudden noise at the door seizes my attention.

I watch cautiously as the door opens and a tall man with chestnut brown, short hair steps in. He's wearing the classic, long, white doctor's coat with dark pants, a blue button up shirt and black tie beneath it.

He takes several more steps in while looking at the clipboard in his hands.

I bite my lower lip, waiting for him to look up.

When he does he looks surprised to see me but he smiles, flashing perfect, gleaming, white teeth.

"Welcome back." His tone sounds relieved "My name is Dr. Nicholas, do you know where you are?"

Dr. Nicholas moved closer to my bed and pulled a pen from his pocket, he glanced at the heart monitor and nodded, seemingly satisfied, he scribbled something onto the papers of his clipboard.

I take a guess.

"A hospital?"

"Yes, Lima General Hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I swallowed hard and fought through the murky confusion.

_What do I remember?_

A quick image flashed through my mind for a brief instant before disappearing. My head began aching even more; I raised my hands to rub my temples.

"I-I remember a truck, a big blue truck." I sighed, tired. "That's all I can think of."

Dr. Nicholas nodded. "You were in car accident a couple days ago. You've been unconscious for a day or so and we've been monitoring you closely. I didn't expect you to wake up so soon though."

"Is that a bad thing?" I ask.

Dr. Nicholas shakes his head "You're recovering quickly, and that is definitely a good thing." He smiles again.

I processed this new information carefully.

_A car crash, why don't I remember it better?_

"Was anyone else hurt in the accident?"

"No, the truck driver only received a few cuts and bruises; your car went off the road and hit a guard rail head on. You were brought into the hospital unconscious and had suffered some trauma to your abdomen which caused some internal bleeding but that stopped on its own soon after we had you stable. Other than that you also sustained several bruises and cuts. But I expect you to recover just fine." He finished with a warm smile.

"Oh, good."

He leaned down to me.

"I'm going to have to check your vision now."

He raised a tiny flashlight and shined it in my eyes; I followed the light as instructed.

"Good, good." Dr. Nicholas praised.

I couldn't sit silently anymore, I needed answers.

"W-what did you say my name was again?" I looked at the doctor slowly.

His eyes went dark with confusion.

"_My _name is Dr. Nicholas." He restated, carefully pronouncing it, as if for a child.

I swallowed hard.

"I know. B-but what's mine?" Panic raced through my pulse once again.

Dr. Nicholas looked down to his clipboard and began to scribble furiously. When he stopped his gaze returned to me, cautiously he sat on the edge of my bed.

"Your name is Santana Lopez." His eyes searched mine intently. "What do you remember before the crash?"

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I had nothing tosay.

I shook my head. "Nothing, I don't even know how old I am." I rose my eyes to him "How old _am _I?"

"From your sheet here, seventeen."

I felt tears brimming, "What's wrong with me?" My voice cracked.

Dr. Nicholas reached out and grabbed my hands reassuringly.

"It's quite possible that you have a serious concussion from the crash. You came in with a large cut at your hairline from impact with the steering wheel. For a while it may be hard for you to remember things or focus. That's completely normal with a concussion. This temporary amnesia is most likely a strong side effect of your concussion. I can do some testing and find out more, for now I need you to stay calm, okay?"

I nodded, sniffling.

Dr. Nicholas gave me a faint smile and stood from my bed.

"Okay, then. You just stay here and relax, I'll go reanalyze your results from the CT scan we took when you came in and update your files."

I nodded again, rubbing my hands over my face.

Dr. Nicholas exited the room, closing the door behind himself.

I desperately fought to calm my mind. A moment ago it had been blank, now it was racing furiously.

I pressed the heels of my palms to my temple now, the pain was increasing.

_Rest._ I think. _Rest, and relax. That should solve the ache and panic._

Gently I lie back down and close my eyes. Breathing deep and slow, I force my mind blank again and feel myself slip back into unconsciousness quickly.

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**A/N: So there's the first actual chapter, let me know if you think this is something I should continue? I'm working on the format of the text because I don't like the way it came out so I'll figure that out at some point :) Review please!**


	3. During the Night

**A/N: All medical/health information discussed in this fic has been pulled from the internet, I am not a doctor or certified expert in any way so don't believe/trust the info here for application in real life!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

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**Chapter Two: **_**During the Night**_

The loud creak of an opening door pulls me out of sleep. I blink tiredness from my eyes and look towards the door. The room has turned considerably darker, the lights are off and only a small amount of light comes from the windows.

I see a woman enter. I can tell she isn't a nurse because she doesn't look like one, all the nurses here wear scrubs and white shoes, and she doesn't. She's wearing jeans and a long sleeved, purple V-neck shirt with black heels. Her face shows beautiful Hispanic features and deep brown eyes framed by long dark hair.

_Like mine. _This thought comes naturally.

This new woman notices that I see her and places her hands over her mouth, making a strangled whimpering noise.

She steps quickly over to my bed and I can see tears filing her eyes.

_Why is she crying? Is she sad? Should I be sad too?_

Unknowing of how to react to this stranger I simply lay and look up at her mutely.

The woman reaches down and grabs my hand, her hands are shaking.

"Oh, Santanita…" More tears spill down her cheeks.

I watch her cry for a moment.

Then I ask her if the doctor sent her to check on me and she says no.

I wait for her to tell me what she's doing here but she doesn't. So I ask her that too.

Her face turns confused and hurt, she squeezes my hand harder.

"Santana, sweetie. What do you mean?"

Now I'm even more confused, if that's even possible.

"Why are you in my room?" I ask again, slowly.

"I came to see you, of course. I was so worried that you weren't waking up, all of us were." She lifts my hand toward her face and kisses it. I pull my hand away now.

"Who are you?"

She stands there, frozen, for what seems like minutes. Her expression turns from sad to heartbroken and I silently wonder why I've upset her so much.

"What do you mean? I'm your mother of course." The woman's mouth hangs open slightly and she reaches for my hand again. But I pull it farther away from her.

"I've never seen you before in my life." I tell her truthfully.

Now the woman turns hysterical, sobbing, she replaces her hands over her mouth and backs away from me to the door. She opens it and leaves the room quickly.

I sit up in bed and watch the door, listening intently.

I hear the woman speaking franticly outside the door. A few unrecognizable voices join hers. I can't understand what they're saying, only the tones of the voices. They seem distressed. The door-knob turns almost all the way to open the door then freezes. I hear Dr. Nicholas, his tone sounds strict, demanding. The door-knob turns back into place and remains unmoved.

_What is going on?!_

I need answers, soon. Sitting alone in this room, it feels like I'm going insane.

I think back to what the woman told me. Was she really my mom?

_What does my mom look like? What's my mom's name?_

More things I can't remember.

_She could've been my mom; she did have the same hair as me. Am I pretty like her too? _I wonder, recalling her facial features, perfectly placed arching eyebrows, beautiful deep brown eyes, and full lips.

_Do I look anything like her?_

I look around the room again for a reflective surface. I notice the other door in the room had been cracked open allowing me to see a portion of a toilet.

_A bathroom would have a mirror._

Inspired, I swung my legs off the bed and removed the tube from my face so that I could move away.

I stood cautiously, somewhat dizzy, and carefully made my way to the bathroom.

Pushing my way inside I gripped the sink and peered into the mirror on the wall.

I'm very pretty, maybe even beautiful.

This thought doesn't feel vain or self-absorbed because I'm looking at a face I've never seen before. Or at least that I don't remember seeing before. A perfect stranger.

And perfect is a good word to describe this stranger's face. Deep brown eyes, sparkling with curiosity below dark eyebrows.

_What have these eyes seen?_

The nose is perfectly centered and shaped, the lips, though the bottom one had a cut from the crash, were full.

_Who have these lips kissed?_

The forehead, also, was marked from the crash, several small cuts and a large bruise surrounding a large one at my hairline.

A quick scene flies through my mind. I'm sitting in a car, reaching for the radio. A horn blasts through the air. My head turns to the window; all I can see are the headlights. I don't have time to even draw a breath before the glass of the window is smashed. It showers into the car. All I can hear is a high pitched ringing.

The flashback only lasts a moment. My breath is racing as I come back to reality.

_What about the rest of my family? Do I even have a family? Do they love me? Do I love them?_

The questions coming now scare me. Or rather the fact that I don't know the answers scares me.

_What happened to me? _

Tears now well in my eyes, blurring my vision.

I realize that I'm only torturing myself by thinking about the situation more. I stumble back to my bed and lie back down, shutting my eyes, attempting to push myself back into sleep. This time, however, it does not come so easily.

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**A/N: Review please!**


	4. The Tests

**A/N: As mentioned in the last chapter that all information in here about concussions, amnesia, etc. is gathered from the internet and I am IN NO WAY a reliable source for health information. It's entirely possible that even the information in this that has been pulled from the internet has been used incorrectly (in fact I guarantee it). Any false info in here is either a mistake or I purposely did it because I wanted the story to be like that (sorry if that bugs anyone!)**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Glee**

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**Chapter Three: **_**The Tests**_

The next thing that wakes me is Dr. Nicholas calling my name softly. As my eyes flutter open slowly I see him leaning over me. It must be morning because the room is brightly illuminated by the windows.

Dr. Nicholas has pulled a chair near my bed and sits beside me.

He tells me "Good morning" and flips through the papers of his clipboard.

"How did you sleep?" He asks.

"Okay. A lady came into my room last night, who was she?"

I see Dr. Nicholas hesitate, he doesn't want to tell me, but he eventually does.

"She's your mother, her name is Maribel Lopez."

I let this sink in slowly.

_She was my mother, but I didn't even recognize her. How could I not have recognized my own mother?_

A mother was someone you grew up with, someone you loved. How could you forget them so easily?

_Were we close? Did we fight a lot? Do I make her cards for Mother's Day?_

"I've been keeping your family updated on your situation but I discouraged them from visiting last night to give you time to settle down and rest, obviously that didn't work too well. I told them they should come back and visit this afternoon, hopefully everyone will be a little calmer by then. How do you feel this morning, Santana?" Dr. Nicholas's eyes searched my face.

"Tired, confused, I can't register much else." I shrugged.

Dr. Nicholas nodded, understanding.

"We'd like to get you into a MRI scan today and check for any swelling or irritation in the tissues of your brain that could be causing this memory loss."

I nod quickly, this is progress, this will help me get better, help me remember.

"Good. But before we get into that I'd like to ask you some questions. See how much you can remember."

I hesitate. I don't like this idea. It means I will have to say "I don't know" a lot more than I want to.

"Okay then, I'd like to begin now if that's alright with you."

The sooner the better, I think. "That's fine." I tell him.

He flips back several papers on his clipboard.

"You don't need to be nervous, Santana. It is completely alright if you don't know the answers to these questions. Please be truthful in your responses. I need to understand how severe your amnesia may be." His eyes drill into mine, hammering his point through to me.

"Okay." I whisper, looking away. I clasp my hands tightly in my lap, they're nearly shaking.

"What's your full name?"

I frown; he told me the answer yesterday.

"Santana Lopez."

"Do you know what your middle name is?"

I swallow and my mind starts to panic again, searching for an answer that should have come instinctually. I force my mind to calm, maybe if I don't think so much, the answer will come to me.

I'm happy when it does.

"Maria."

Dr. Nicholas smiles again. He is as happy that I remembered as I am.

"When is your birthday?"

Numbers, I think, there should be a certain number that I know for this.

Dr. Nicholas doesn't give me enough time for my answer on this question, or perhaps I took longer.

"What month were you born?"

Months, there are twelve, which one is special to me?

"August, August 19th." I tell him.

"Yes!" He's excited for me. I am too.

"What grade are you in?"

"12th grade."

The answers are coming quicker now, more naturally, I think.

"What school do you go to?"

My streak of knowledge breaks into pieces. I don't know this one.

"I'm in high school." I try.

"Yes, but what is the name of your school?"

My eyes shut tightly and I shake my head, choking out the frustrating words. "I don't know."

"That's perfectly okay, Santana. You're doing very well so far." He tries to encourage me but I don't feel encouraged. I feel broken.

"Does McKinley High sound familiar at all?" He asks.

I shrug but then shake my head "No, not really."

"Okay, that's fine. What's your mother's name?"

I'm grateful that he has asked me another question that he has already given me the answer to.

"Maribel Lopez."

"And your father's name?"

The back of my throat hurts as though a large lump has formed there. I can't speak and my vision blurs with tears, threatening to spill over my cheeks. I look away from the doctor, once again shaking my head.

"It's okay, Santana." He repeats. But I know it is not okay. I know that I should know more than what I do.

"His name is Javier Lopez. Do you have any siblings?" He moves on.

Again my mind turns to chaos, screaming the guesses it wants me to respond with but no guess feels correct. The pain in the back of my throat worsens so I just shrug as my answer. Forcing myself to breath deep again.

"You have a younger sister named Rosalina." He tells me gently. He's trying not to make me feel bad about forgetting but I already do.

_Does she look up to me? Do we fight? Do we share a room? _

The information he's giving me only brings more questions.

"Do you know how old your sister is?"

She is younger but by how much? My memory supplies no numbers so I stay silent. Dr. Nicholas waits a long time, giving me a chance to break my silence but I do not.

"She's fifteen." Again he's gentle but the questions are hitting me on emotional levels that I wasn't prepared for.

"I want to stop." I whisper. He nods. "Okay."

The door opens and Emily peeks in. She's my favorite of the nurses who check on me daily. She smiles a lot and gave me extra chocolate puddings with my dinner as desert.

"We're ready for the MRI scan."

Dr. Nicholas nods to her then turns to me.

"Are you ready?"

I nod once and stand. Emily pushes in a wheelchair and has me sit, saying that it's hospital policy that I can't walk myself.  
As she pushes me down the hallways of the hospital she talks with me. She never brings up topics like family or makes me think about things I should know. I suppose she knows that will upset me. Instead she talks to me about the hospital. Telling me about her job and co-workers and asking me how I like the other nurses.

By the time we arrive at the room for the testing she has distracted me from the majority of my anxiety. It returns as they ask me to lie on the padded table and stay as still as I can.

Dr. Nicholas explains that the table will move into a circular chamber. He tells me the chamber will feel very small but I shouldn't have anything to worry about. I'm not sure what to think about that because I'm already worried.

As I lay on the table Emily places pads around my head, she says they are just there to help me keep still. My nerves have set in once again.

Emily squeezes my hand once more before moving away. Emily tells me the table will move into the chamber now but I am still startled when it does jerk into motion. It is dim inside the chamber as the table stops.

Dr. Nicholas's voice comes through an intercom inside the chamber.

"You okay in there so far, Santana?"

I answer "yes" but even I can hear the tremor in my voice.

"Just try to relax. I'm going to turn on the machine soon; it's going to be bright in there. Just close your eyes and picture yourself being somewhere else."

I close my eyes and hear the machine hum around me, the light turns the inside of my eyelids bright red. Curious, I peek between my eyelids at the machine around me. The machine is lined with long white panels of lights. The lights are not too bright so I open my eyes fully. I feel better seeing everything around me.

"You okay so far?" This time it is Emily on the intercom.

"I-I guess so." I tell her.

"You're doing really well Santana. Just stay calm."

"Okay."

The humming of the machine gets louder and I find it difficult to be calm. I can feel my heart pounding harder in my chest and I'm breathing faster. My body is panicking, not obeying my orders to stay calm and relaxed.

The chamber emits a loud drumming sound and I flinch on the table.

"I need you to stay still, Santana." Dr. Nicholas reminds me over the speaker "The machine is going to be making a lot of noise but I really need you to hold still so we can get clear pictures. If you move, we'll have to start over with the scan."

"Sorry." I whisper.

Now Emily talks with me over the speaker. "It's okay," her tone is light and easy "Like I said before, you're doing great, sweetie. Do you want me to keep talking to you over the intercom, will that help?"

I answer "yes" immediately.

"Alright, I'm right here. I'll keep talking but don't reply because you have to stay still, okay?"

"Okay."

"Awesome. Now Dr. Nicholas is going to restart the scan and you'll hear that noise again. You might not be able to hear me very well but I'll keep talking."

I remind myself not to respond and closed my eyes as my head filled with the drumming sound again, drowning Emily out.

I focus on breathing, keeping my body relaxed.

When the drumming dies down Emily's voice comes through to me again.

"You should be able to hear me now, Santana. This next scan won't make a lot of sound. You're doing so great, honey. You're staying perfectly still, keep it up."

Emily continues to talk, I don't really listen to the actual words she says, it's just the sound of her voice that's keeping me relaxed.

It seems like hours before the scans are finally finished. Relief floods through me as the table moves out of the chamber. Emily is beside me as the table stops outside the chamber. She removes the pads and helps me off the table and into the wheelchair.

"You did a really great job, Santana. We got all the pictures in perfect quality."

Emily wheels me back to my room and I climb back onto my bed.

"How do you feel? I know that machine can give people pretty nasty headaches."

"My head's a little sore, but other than that I feel fine."

"Alright, I'll go grab you something for lunch, anything special you'd like?"

I tell her to surprise me.

I lay my head back and rest my stinging eyes. I must have dozed off, the next thing I knew; Emily was closing the door behind her and carrying in a blue tray. She sets the tray across my lap. It holds a bottle of water, a turkey sandwich, and a small salad.

I thank her and she stays while I eat, we talk some more.

After I finish, Dr. Nicholas opens the door and steps inside.

"We won't have the results for the MRI tests back for a while yet. So we'll have to wait to see if it shows us anything. I've contacted your parents and asked them to hold off until about 4 o'clock to give you a little more time to adjust."

I looked to the clock on the wall. That gave me about 4 hours to prepare myself.

"Santana, I know you're confused. You don't really know what's happening to you and that must scare you. We've done everything we can for the time being, until we get the results of the MRI back. We've been trying our best to keep you calm and relaxed but you're family and loved ones are very concerned. I understand you don't remember them and maybe you feel a little scared to meet them but it's possible that being around familiar people will help jog your memory."

I nod my understanding. That sounds good to me.

"How do you feel about this, Santana? We can ask your family to wait a bit longer if you don't feel ready or comfortable yet. There's no pressure." Emily tells me.

"I want to meet them. This will help me remember, right?"

Dr. Nicholas nods. "You won't remember everything at once but this may help bring back bits and pieces faster."

"I want to see them." I nod.

"Okay, I'll call and let them know." Dr. Nicholas smiled and left with Emily.

As soon as the door closes behind them I sink my face into my hands.

_Family,_ the word was foreign to me. I knew exactly what it meant, what it defined. I just wasn't familiar with it on a personal level of experience.

_Am I ready for this?_

Despite the anxiety coursing through me I felt exhausted, maybe it was some left over hospital drugs in my system, and I found myself falling asleep.

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"_Come on Santana! You're such a slow poke!"_

_The girl in front of me calls back with the voice of an angel, long blonde hair swings in front of me tantalizingly. When she turns to make sure I'm following, I'm frozen, captured by her intensely blue eyes and dazzling smile. Who is this girl? She giggles and jogs back to me, slipping her soft hands into mine and tugging me forward. My heart jumps in my chest at her touch and I find myself unable to hold back an adoring smile._

_I should be confused. I should be wondering where the hell I am and what the hell is going on, but all I can focus on is this girl. She held all my attention and made everything else fade away._

_She drops to the grass beneath us to lie on her back and tugs me down so that I'm half on top of her. Being closer now I notice several faint freckles scattered high on her cheeks beneath her eyes._

"_You're thinking too much." She whispers up at me._

_I feel my cheeks heat as her hand reaches up and brushes hair from my face before sliding behind my head and entangling in my hair. I shiver. My whole body is tingling now. This gorgeous girl was taking my breath away and making my stomach flip with excitement. My eyes tear away from hers and drop to her lips, soft and pink. She bites her lower lip and pulls me down closer, bumping her nose against mine cutely._

"_Just feel…" She whispers so close to my lips that her breath tickles against my skin._

_My breath catches and I want to laugh. I am feeling. Feeling her body pressed to mine, her fingers teasing the hair at the top of my neck, it's overwhelming. She's overwhelming me just by being so close. Oh yes, I'm feeling. I'm feeling everything. I'm feeling on top of the world at the way she looks at me, like I'm the only one she ever wants to look at again. _

_Our noses brush again and my eyes flutter closed._

"_Wake up, Santana…"_

I open my eyes and the girl is gone. The tingles that swept over me in her presence disappear. Emily stands next to my bedside.

"You fell asleep." She explains.

_It was a dream? That felt so real and it was just a dream? What was that? Who was that?_

"Your parents will be here soon." She tells me.

The dream girl is pushed to the back of my mind now but is definitely not gone.

_How had I managed to forget her in the first place?_

"I brought you some of the clothes your parents brought with them the last time they were here. I thought maybe you'd like to finally get out of that hospital gown?"

"Ugh, yes please!" This gown was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever worn. Which is a true fact considering I don't remember anything I'd worn before the accident.

Emily hands me a white long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of red sweatpants with the word "Cheerios" printed down one thigh.

"I snagged you a hairbrush too." She smiles and gives me the brush. I gratefully accept it and tug it through my tangled mess of hair.

"Feel better?"

"So much better." I thank her.

"Your family should be here any minute now. Dr. Nicholas will talk with all of you about your concussion symptoms and then leave you to chat a bit." Emily says.

Suddenly I'm nervous all over again. I shouldn't be, these are the people that raised me, the people I've lived with and loved for seventeen years. _So why am I freaking out so much? _

"I'll go meet your family at the desk to bring them up." She smiles and leaves me to my thoughts.

I walk around my room a little to release some of my pent up nervous energy and stretch my legs after laying in that hospital bed for so long.

I take a few deep breaths to relax myself, take a seat in one of the comfy black chairs near the wall and try to avoid thinking about the developing situation.

* * *

**A/N: So that felt like a super long chapter and I'm not satisfied with the end but it had a Britana tease in there (hope that made people happy). The next chapter will be family time and it'll probably be somewhat lengthy. Unfortunately I'll be pretty busy this coming week so I probably won't be updating until next weekend. Review pretty please!**


	5. Family Time

**A/N:** **Next chapter finally! Week has been busy with the chaos that is my life :/ Hope you enjoy! Review pretty please, even if it's just to say hi **** Spanish will be italicized and defined in the end author note. All translations are courtesy of Google Translate, I have no idea how to speak Spanish on any level…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I wish I did, but nope!**

* * *

**Chapter Four: **_**Family Time**_

A knock at the door draws my attention. Was I supposed to say come in? I opened my mouth to say so when Dr. Nicholas peeked inside. I snapped my mouth shut feeling dumb. He had just wanted to give me a quick heads up.

_Oh God, this is happening right now, isn't it?_

"Santana, are you ready?" He asks one last time.

I don't hesitate to nod, I couldn't wait any longer. I've been sitting here driving myself crazy waiting already.

I stand as the door opens fully and the familiar woman who had come into my room during the night entered along with a tall dark haired Latino man and a young girl that appeared to be a near exact copy of the older woman. My family. They came in slowly, like they were trying not to scare me with any sudden movements, and stopped only a yard or so into the room.

"_Hola,_ _mi niña hermosa." _ My mother is the first to speak.

"Hi." I returned with my best attempt at a smile.

"_Cómo te sientes, Santanita?" _This time it's my father that speaks. I only just now realize that they're speaking Spanish and I understand them without a problem.

"I can speak Spanish?" I ask without thinking. I meet my family, essentially for the first time, and the first question I ask them is if I can speak Spanish. I snap my mouth shut before I can say something else stupid.

The girl, my sister Rosalina, laughs and my parents smile.

"_Si, _we're all fluent in Spanish, Santana." Rosalina says with a smile.

"Oh." It had never crossed my mind to think that I could speak another language other than English.

"I'd like to take a little time to talk with all of you about Santana's current condition. I've diagnosed it as retrograde post-traumatic amnesia which is the inability to recall memories after a head trauma. Post-traumatic amnesia is commonly short term and rarely is there a permanent case. Most often, lost memories are partially regained." Dr. Nicholas explained.

"How long until she remembers us?" My sister asked.

"It's not that simple, every case is different. It can be expected that Santana will regain some memory within the next few weeks but the majority of her memories may take longer than that, anywhere from a month or longer."

"You said partially regain? She won't get everything back?" My mother questioned.

"In more severe cases it's typical that not all memories are recovered but I don't believe that Santana's case is so severe that she won't recover a large majority of her memories."

My mother visibly relaxed slightly and nodded.

"It will be crucial in the next few weeks to surround Santana with familiar places and people, though you shouldn't overwhelm her." He cautioned. "Familiar sights will help to jog her memory, along with rest and time." He finished.

"Is there any medication she'll need?" My father speaks up.

"Nothing beyond aspirin for headaches." Dr. Nicholas answered. "I'll give you all awhile to talk and check back in later, alright Santana?"

"Yeah, that's fine." I tell him.

After Dr. Nicholas leaves I become fully aware of the awkwardness of the situation. For a blundering moment we all stood there, unsure of what to say or do. My sister ends up breaking the stiff atmosphere by leaving our parents side and enveloping me in a hug.

"I'm glad you're okay, sis." She tells me. Our parents follow her lead and join in the hug.

"We're all glad you're okay, _princesa._" My father says with a teary smile.

Even though I don't remember these people, they feel familiar and comforting.

"When you didn't come home by your curfew we thought maybe you had lost track of time at first, then it got later and Rose told us that you were going to spend the night at Brittany's house again and had forgotten to tell us- or maybe that you had already told me and I had just forgotten- but then Brittany called that you hadn't come over and not even 10 minutes later we received a call from the hospital that you had been emitted to the emergency room and I-" My mother rambled until she choked on her breath and couldn't finish. My dad rubbed her back soothingly.

"We thought the worst had happened. They had only informed us that you were brought to the hospital from a car accident and that doctors were looking at you. We got here as fast as we could and they told us that physically you were fine, you were just still unconscious. That really scared your mother, you know she watches-"He suddenly broke off, probably just recalling the fact that _no I don't know that about my mother, I didn't even know my mother._

"It was really scary, for all of us." Rosalina finished for him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"I started to apologize, what else could I say?

"Oh, hush! You have nothing to apologize for! It was an accident; it's not your fault _Santanita_." My mother wiped tears from her cheeks. "If anything, it's my fault for letting you go to that party." My mother returned to her emotional state and my dad pulled her closer to him for comfort.

"What party?" I couldn't help but ask.

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" Rosalina raises her eyebrows at me and I shake my head.

"You went to a party at Matt's house. You told me that after you were done at the party you were going to go see Brittany. But then Brittany called worried because you weren't answering her calls or texts and she thought you would have shown up earlier." Rose explained.

_Matt? Brittany? _ Dad must have sensed my confusion because he elaborated for Rose.

"Brittany Pierce has been your best friend since the 7th grade. You two are practically inseparable. Matt Rutherford is your boyfriend. You've been dating him for about 6 months." He tells me.

_Boyfriend? What about the girl in my dream? That must have been a product of my concussed brain, maybe I was supposed to be dreaming about Matt and my messed up head got the people mixed up? But who was that girl then? Why did it feel so real?_

"You okay, San? You look a little overwhelmed." Rose watched me carefully.

"I feel a little overwhelmed but I'm fine. I want to be learning all this. You heard Dr. Nicholas, the more familiar stuff I face, the faster my memories might come back." I tell her.

"We don't want to overload you with too much though. You need lots of rest too." My mother points out.

"I'm fine, really, I promise. What else can you tell me?"

"What do you want to know?" My dad chuckles.

"Everything." I say seriously.

"Well let's sit down first."

My parents and I each occupy one of the chairs in the room while Rose opts to sit cross-legged on the bed next to me. I feel like we are pretty close sisters but I'm reluctant to ask in case it's not true, this is already weird enough, there's no need to make it even more awkward.

My parents start from the very beginning, the story of how they met in college and ended up settling down and starting a family. They explained that when I was three years old I started asking them for a little sibling that I could play with. The very next year, Rosalina joined our family. And what a large family it is. Apparently my mother has two brothers and one sister resulting in 12 cousins on her side, my dad's is smaller with only two sisters and five cousins. My mother's mother, my _Abuela_ lives nearby and is very close with us. Mom says I "absolutely adore her", I just wish I could remember.

After getting the run down on family members, they go on to tell me more about myself. This is the part that feels weird. They tell me that my favorite food is the spicy shrimp pasta dish that my _Abuela _makes but I've never tasted it, my favorite singer is Amy Winehouse, but I can't name a single song by that name, I'm a cheerleader at McKinley High, but I don't know a single cheer routine, the list goes on. One of the most surprising things I learned about myself is that I know how to play the piano and can sing pretty damn well from what they tell me.

I can tell they're trying their best to catch me up on everything that has anything to do with my life but even I know the task is impossible. By the time Dr. Nicholas comes back to the room I at least feel like I've gained back parts of myself that were missing. Little things, simple things. It's funny how big they feel when they're all I've got now.

"I'd like to keep Santana here for one more night, just to have her rest a little more in an isolated environment but tomorrow I see no medical reason why she can't return home to finish her recovery there, provided of course that she come back and check in with us. If not much progress is made in recovering memories in several weeks' time we can see about setting her up with a therapist for some assistance but I'd like to see how far she can get on her own. Does that sound okay to you, Santana?"

I nod quickly.

Part of me is overjoyed at the thought of finally being able to leave the hospital; it feels like I've been here for weeks instead of just a few days. Another part of me is terrified to move from the only place that I recognize. But I decide it's for the best for me to leave. Surrounding myself with things from my everyday life should give me a boost in remembering my everyday life.

"Excellent. I'll make sure the nurse's station knows you'll be checking out tomorrow." Dr. Nicholas smiles at me warmly and heads toward the door. "Visiting hours end at 8 pm but your welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you, doctor, for everything." My father says.

"It's my pleasure." Dr. Nicholas nods and leaves us again.

"We haven't overloaded you have we, _mija_?" My mother asks with a concerned smile.

"No. I mean, it's a lot to take in but I'm okay. I'm just- still trying to process everything I guess. This feels familiar, I just can't figure out how, yet." I respond.

"Once, you're back home it'll be easier." My father adds.

"Brittany has been asking about you, she's crazy worried." Rose tells me. "She wants to know is she can stop by and see you tomorrow?"

"There's no rush for you to reacquaint yourself with everyone right away." My dad reminds me quickly. "You can take as much time as you need, Brittany will understand."

"Brittany is my best friend you said?"

"Yeah, ever since you two met in middle school you've been inseparable, even more so lately it seemed." Rose explains.

A best friend would be able to tell me everything I needed to know about myself, wouldn't they, even the parts that my family might not know about?

"I'd like to meet her." I propose.

"Are you sure this isn't too fast for you?" Dad asks. "Tomorrow might be a lot for you to handle, coming home for the first time since the accident."

Maybe I should give myself a little more time?

"How about the day after tomorrow then? That'll give me some time to adjust." I offer.

"I think that would be for the best, _mija_."

"I'll let Brittany know." Rose excuses herself from the room.

* * *

**In the Hall**

"She's coming home tomorrow, but she's going to have a lot to handle with being home for the first time." Rose spoke quietly into her cell in the hallway.

"And she doesn't- she doesn't remember anything at all?" the girl on the other end of the phone asks in a small voice.

"No. Nothing. I'm sorry, Brittany…"

"This is all my fault-"the voice is broken with sobs now.

"No, it's not Brittany! Don't you dare blame yourself for this. It's going to be okay, she's fine and she's going to remember, she just needs time."

"You said she might not remember everything, though." Brittany points out.

"She'll remember _you_, Brittany. She has to remember you."

"She doesn't, not as a friend- not as anything…" Sniffles could be heard over the line.

"She will, Brittany. She just needs to rest a bit. It'll come back." Rose comforts the girl. "I'll tell her when we get home and-"

"No! You can't tell her!" Brittany interrupts suddenly.

"What? Why not?"

"Because she just lost everything, Rose. She doesn't remember anything about herself. I don't want to confuse her even more. She doesn't need that right now." Brittany finishes quietly.

"Brittany-"

"Please, Rose. Just- let me handle it. Okay?"

Rose is silent for a long moment. "Okay." She eventually concedes.

"Promise me." Brittany's voice seems tired now.

"I promise, Britt. I won't say anything."

"Thank you Rosie."

"Stop calling me that." Rose chuckles despite the heaviness of the discussion.

"Never." Brittany returns.

* * *

**Back in the Room**

Not long after Rose returned to the room, my family decided to head home and leave me to rest according to the doctor's orders. The apprehensive frenzy echoing in my skull made it impossible to drift into sleep as I lay in bed after they had gone. It was strange. I didn't have any coherent thoughts, just a hesitant feeling that had spread through my chest.

Inhaling deeply I focused on thinking about what would be able to calm me down.

The only thing that came to mind was a familiar pair of captivating blue eyes. _The girl from my dream._

As fragments of the dream came back to me I felt a calm wash over me, leaving me questioning if this seemingly magical girl actually existed. She seemed too good to be true.

_And don't I have a boyfriend?_ I thought randomly. _Why am I so fascinated with this girl if I have a boyfriend? Who is she to me?_

Closing my eyes, I held on to the vision of her face as I finally slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

**A/N: So there's the next chapter hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you guys think please! As you can imagine the next chapter will be Santana coming home. Please review!**

**Spanish Translations: **

_Hola,_ _mi niña hermosa- Hello, my beautiful girl_

_ Cómo te sientes- How do you feel _

_princesa- princess _

_mija- term of endearment for daughters_

**Again, these are from Google Translate, I have no Spanish knowledge of my own. :0 **


	6. Home Sweet Home

**A/N: First and foremost I apologize for taking sooo long when I said earlier that my updates would be fast. In hind sight it wasn't the best idea to try and start a fic right before exams…:/ after next week though I hope to have more time to write!**

**Second, I contemplated if this is even worth addressing but I guess I'll touch on it just in case. To the guest that expressed their **_**extreme**_** concern about Santana being straight in this fic, I'm not sure if you read the very last line of the summary but it does say "Brittana fic" meaning it will revolve around a romantic relationship between Brittany S. Pierce and Santana Lopez. So no, she's not straight, let's take it easy shall we?**

**(let me build up a little bit before we get to that part of the story but I promise it's not too many chapters away and once it's introduced officially it will be present often!)**

**HeYa-GLeeK12****\- Umm if you know a Reese I don't believe I'm the same person but thanks for the compliments!**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter, again I apologize for the delay! **** Please enjoy! REVIEW!**

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**Chapter Five: **_**Home Sweet Home**_

When Emily came to wake me in the morning I was already wide awake and dressed in the jeans and t-shirt that my parents had left for me last night. She smiled at my enthusiasm and decided to take me down to eat in the cafeteria instead of bringing it to my room. My nerves made it nearly impossible for me to swallow my breakfast but I managed to finish off a bagel, a banana, and orange juice.

"Are you excited to be going home?" She asks after a little while.

"Excited and terrified." I admit.

"I can understand that but I'm sure everything will work out just fine." She smiles.

After finishing, Emily led me back to my room to pack up my stuff. Meaning I folded what little clothing I had in my possession and put it into a plastic bag given to me by the hospital. At exactly 9 am sharp Emily came back to lead me down to the front desk where my family was waiting.

Rose and my mother greet me with a hug while my dad closes up some hospital paperwork with Dr. Nicholas.

"Alright, Santana, you're all set to head home. Remember, don't stress yourself and try to push yourself into recovering all your memories right away. The memories are still there, I promise, your brain just has to find them and that can only be done with time and rest." Dr. Nicholas discloses. "Here's my card, in case you have any questions, and you can call me for whatever you need. If I don't answer leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

"Thank you again, doctor." My father shakes his hand.

"It's no problem." Dr. Nicholas returns.

Turning to my mother, sister, and I, my dad smiles, looking finally somewhat relaxed.

"_Venga, vámonos a casa." _He says.

The family vehicle turned out to be an expensive looking sleek black BMW, a symbol of the money that my father brought in from his successful job at a law firm (as I had learned last night).

The ride to our house is short and it's not long before the BMW is pulling up a long driveway to a large tan-stone home. I stare in awe at it for a moment before snapping my mouth closed and glancing at my sister alongside me to see if she had noticed my gawking. She had and meets my eyes with an amused grin.

"We live here?" I check to clarify and Rose laughs.

"Yes we live here, since before I was born we have."

"You were two years old when we finished the house, Santana. Rosalina came along the next year." My Mom states.

Pulling into the garage I look over to see a light blue Mercedes-Benzes and another empty parking spot. Presumably from where my car used to be parked before I totaled it.

"Welcome home, _mija_." My mother says as we walk into the house.

I'm taken aback again by my home. The kitchen is modern with stainless steel appliances, deep brown cabinets, and black granite countertops. Moving into the living room I see the modern theme continued with black leather couches and a nicely sized flat-screen television hanging from the wall.

"Here, come see your room." Rose pulls me through the living room and up the staircase excitedly. I follow her while trying my best to steal glances at the family portraits that hang on the walls of the hallway.

Coming up to a closed door I feel my nerves building once more. This is it. This is where I can find all my memories, hopefully. Rose pushed open the door and motions for me to enter ahead of her. I do so slowly, taking in every detail of the new space. The walls are plain white but covered with a multitude of pictures, a large bed with a red duvet is pushed against the wall opposite a desk and mirror. A tall dresser stands against the wall next to a large window that overlooks the backyard. I stand still once fully inside the room. It feels familiar. It feels like I've been here. I just can't remember it.

"Anything?" Rose pushes, looking anxious.

I understand that she wants to remember, my whole family does including myself, but even I know it wouldn't happen that fast.

"Nothing yet." I mutter as I move over to the desk.

The desk is covered with miscellaneous items, make-up, pens, and a few framed photos. The first picture I pick up shows me smiling at the camera with my arms slung over the shoulder of a muscular boy with a mohawk and a blonde girl with green eyes.

"Is this Matt and Brittany?" I ask turning to Rose for help.

After glancing at the picture she shakes her head. "No, that's Puck and Quinn. You're all best friends, you three grew up together." Rose offers.

"What kind of a name is Puck?" I scoff and Rose laughs.

"His full name is Noah Puckerman but everyone calls him 'Puck'. And Quinn's full name is actually Lucy Quinn Fabray but she's used Quinn as her first name since middle school."

"Oh. That's confusing." I comment.

"What's more confusing is their love lives." Rose jokes. "_This _is Brittany Susan Pierce." She tells me with a smile and picks up another frame on the desk. When my eyes land on it my heart freezes briefly before beginning to pound faster.

_It's her. The girl from my dream! _I recognize the beautiful face immediately, deep blue eyes that capture my gaze, framed by long blonde hair. The picture looks as though it was taken during the summer according to the tank tops and shorts we are both wearing. In it, we have our arms wrapped around each other tightly, mine around her neck while hers rest at my waist, and have our beaming faces pressed close as we look at the camera.

"This is Brittany? You said she's my best friend?" I whisper.

"Yes. She's definitely your best friend, even closer than Quinn and Puck." Rose discloses.

Even her mere image is drawing me to her somehow. I don't understand it.

"What about my boyfriend?" I ask not seeing another frame on the desk.

I take notice of the way Rose's smile disappears. She looks up to the corkboard on the wall above the desk and points to a picture of a guy with a cute boyish face and a dark complexion.

"That's him." She says. Noting the disappointed tone of her voice I raise an eyebrow.

"Do you not like him or something?"

Rose hesitates before answering.

"It's not that I don't like him, he's a really nice guy and all, I just- I don't know why you're still with him." She finally answers.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. It's just- you've been with him for a while now and it doesn't seem like it's gone anywhere since the start." Rosalina mentions somewhat indecisive.

I ponder that news for a moment, trying to conjure up any sort of recollection of our relationship but, as always, nothing is forthcoming.

Scanning the corkboard photos I see that a large majority consist of me either with Brittany or with Quinn, sometimes Puck. Only a few contain Matt.

_This doesn't make any sense._

"Recognize anyone?" Rose inquires.

I pause. Technically I recognize Brittany from my dream, but that dream couldn't have been an actual memory. She's my best friend. In that dream I would have sworn that she was more to me than only a friend.

"No. No one." I lie.

Rose's face falls again and I feel bad for lying to her, but I need to figure this out for myself first.

"I guess I should give you a little space to think."

I nod gratefully.

"Okay, my room is just down the hall and on the left in case you need anything." She smiles.

"Thank you, Rose." She gives me a quick hug before leaving and shutting the door behind her.

Now alone I take a deep breath and survey my room again. I spot a laptop on the bedside table and curiously open it up. Once it's powered up the screen demands a password.

_Well, shit._

I type in random letters and hit the enter key. The screen now flashes my password hint: 'Try again bitch'.

_Well that's helpful. _I sigh and look around the room for any sort of hint. The poster of Amy Winehouse on my closet door inspires me to try her name but that's also incorrect.

_This could be anything for Christ's sake._

I try Matt's name, incorrect. I try Brittany's, incorrect as well.

Giving up I powered the computer down. Maybe I could ask Rose if she knows later.

Picking up the iPhone that had been sitting next to the laptop I swipe the screen only to be met with another request for a password. I try until it threatens to lock the phone for an ungodly amount of time. I'll have to ask about that later as well.

I sit still on my bed for a minute. _I wonder if I'm the kind of person to keep a diary?_

I immediately rise and begin to search the room. Pulling out all the drawers in my dresser I am met with nothing but bras, panties, socks, shorts, and t-shirts. Upon shifting the clothes around to search beneath them I only find the bottom of the drawers. The bedside table has only a mess of random items like fingernail filers and polish. The tiny shelf near the bottom of the table holds several large books. _Do I read a lot? _The titles suggest that I apparently have a taste for classic literature. It's strange that I recognize titles like Pride and Prejudice yet I would have to reread the book to know what happened in it.

Still kneeling, I turn and lower myself further to peer underneath my bed. To my delight I find a box there. Yanking it out, my spirits drop as I see a lock on the cover. Shaking the box next to my ear I hear the contents shift inside with whispered promises. Promises that they will continue to keep from me until I find the key.

"Santana!"

Startled I shove the box back under my bed. It was hidden there in the first place for a reason I'm guessing. Just as I pulled myself off the floor my mother opens the door to my room.

"_Mama! You need to knock!" I whine when my mother once again barges into my room unannounced._

"_Why? What are you doing in here that you need so much privacy for?" Her eyes narrow at the laptop sitting on my lap._

"_Nothing, I'm just messaging Brittany. But I could have been changing or something." I shut my laptop._

"_I know what your naked butt looks like Santana, I brought it into this world and changed all your diapers, lord knows your father couldn't handle it." She laughs._

"_You still need to knock." I tell her with a sigh._

"_Okay, I'll try and remember, mija."_

As fast as the memory hit it was gone and left me in a daze behind it.

"You don't knock." I manage to get out.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's just a habit of mine." She apologizes.

"No. I mean I remember that you don't knock." I say. Her eyes widen. "You always just come into my room."

"You remember that?" She steps toward me and grabs my hands.

"Yeah, I just had some kind of flashback, I think." I explain.

"Oh, that's fantastic,_ mija_!" She pulls me into a tight hug and I smile into her shoulder, happy that even though it's such a small thing, it means stuff is coming back to me.

"That's all that I've recalled so far, but it's a start, right?"

"It's a start." She echoes with a warm smile. "I made up some lunch downstairs. I don't know what all you had for breakfast, or if you're even hungry, but I made some grilled cheese. That's what I usually make when-"

"When I'm upset!" I cut her off.

"_Si!_ Oh, it is coming back!" She hugs me again, this time a few tears escape but she wipes them away grinning.

I walk with my Mom down to the kitchen where she shares with my Dad and Rose the news of my modest breakthroughs.

"Ah, you see? Being back home is already doing wonders for you, _princesa_!" My Dad exclaims with enthusiasm.

"This is awesome!" Rose says around a mouthful of grilled cheese.

Taking a bite of my sandwich I can't help but smile even wider. _Comfort._ No specific memories come to mind, but I simply get a content feeling knowing that I remembered this connection to my Mom.

After finishing my lunch Rose pulled me up from the chair I was sitting in at the kitchen island.

"You have to see the piano room!" She blurts out and tugs me behind her without a choice.

"What's the piano room?"

"Just follow me." Rose leads me through the living room to the staircase but instead of going up the stairs she pulls me to the side of it and I notice a door I hadn't before.

"Really it's just a basement but it's where we keep the piano, so we call it the 'piano room'." Rose tells me as she leads me down the stairs that we found behind the door. At the end of the stairs a pair of glass double doors blocks us from continuing further.

"Check this out." Rose flips on the light near the door and the room beyond the doors lights up, showcasing a gleaming black grand piano as well as what seems to be another small living room area.

Rose opens one of the doors and motions for me to stay put. Closing the door behind her she then turns to face the now closed doors. I see her mouth moving so she must be talking to me but I can't hear anything. Rose then opens the door for me.

"Mom and Dad had this room soundproofed so we wouldn't have to listen to you play the piano at all hours of the day. Not that you're bad at it, but it gets annoying after you've heard it for hours."

"How long have I been playing the piano?"

"I think you started at around three years old, maybe?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, Mom and Dad got you one of those toddler toy pianos and you played it all the time so they put you in lessons and then we got a real piano for you to play. Not this one, we only got this piano a few years ago. It was a gift from Mom and Dad when you finished your lessons."

"So, I'm pretty good at it then?" I probe.

"Are you kidding me? You're fantastic. You play classical shit all the time. Like Mozart and Beethoven type shit."

"Seriously?"

"Yes! Here, come sit down. Maybe you'll remember something." Rose pulls me over to the piano bench eagerly.

Once we sat on the bench Rose went silent and simply watched me carefully.

Gently running my fingertips along the cool, smooth lid covering the keys I took a slow breath.

_This is what I usually do to calm myself down. I play the piano._ I realize.

Lifting the lid to expose the keys, I wait another moment. Rose said I know how to play complicated classical music but I don't even think I know where to start.

Deciding to just go with it and see what happens I hover my hands over the keys before resting them lightly on top where it feels natural to do so. My hands are spread with fingers extended and curved, waiting for me to decide to move them.

Experimentally I press down my fingers, one at a time. _It's beautiful. _Not only does it sound lovely, it _feels _lovely. Refreshing even. I let my fingers glide over the keys with minds of their own. I couldn't say which keys I was pressing but I could recognize the simple tune. Mary Had A Little Lamb.

My lips tugged into a smile on their own accord to match the grin on my sister's face.

"You remember!" She slips an arm around my waist to hug me to her side.

"It feels almost natural." I tell her.

"Well you are a natural." My Dad's voice sounds from behind us. "You used to hold mini concerts for us when you were younger." He smiled. "And you always grace us with a tune during the holidays."

"Do I grace you with 'Mary Had A Little Lamb'?" I joke.

"Well, no. Not usually."

"Then I have a little catching up to do." I chuckle.

"You'll catch up in no time at all, Santanita, I'm sure of it."

* * *

The remainder of the day passed much like earlier. Rose continued to give me a tour of the house, the laundry room, the garage, the backyard pool house. 'Anything to help me remember' she said. And I did remember. But only meager things. Playing tag in the backyard with my sister when we were little, scraping my knee when running in the pool house, hiding in the garage in games of hide and seek with a young Quinn and Puck.

"So Brittany's excited to see you tomorrow." Rose randomly mentions as we head towards the house from exploring Mom's garden in the far corner of the yard.

"I'm excited to see her too." I say truthfully.

"Quinn and Puck have been texting me as well. They can't wait to get over here. Brittany invited them to come with her but she asked me to run it by you first. She doesn't want to overwhelm you with too many people."

I bite my lip. As much as I wanted to meet Brittany to see what it would bring back to me, I wasn't sure how I would quite handle meeting her. Everything I feel about her confuses me. I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't be thinking about her non-stop like I have been lately.

_It's just because you don't remember anything about yourself. You're confused and trying to convince yourself that what you experienced in that dream is true, that way you feel like you remember something worth knowing. _A voice in my head whispers. _No, that can't be it. _Another interjects. I ignore them both.

"I think it would be a good idea if they came too." I tell Rose after a moment. "I'm remembering a lot of stuff already, I think maybe the more familiar things I embrace the more it will help me." I finish.

Rose nods. "Okay, I'll let Brittany know." She pulls out her phone and sends off a text quickly. _Which reminds me…_

"I don't suppose you would happen to know the password to my computer would you? Do you fall into the category of the sneaky little sister that always pokes around in her older sister's stuff?"

Rose laughs and shakes her head.

"I have my own laptop so I've never even used yours. And the only thing of yours that I sneak into is your closet to borrow clothes."

Now I laugh.

"Borrow my clothes or steal?"

"Borrow! You get them back…eventually." She adds.

"Right, sure I do. What about my phone? Any idea what code I might use for that?"

Rose shrugs.

"No clue, sorry sis."

I blow out a long breath. "It's fine. Just thought I would check."

Rose bumps her shoulder into mine as we reach the back patio. "Come on, Mom wants us to help her make her famous fajitas. If you don't remember the recipe then we need to re-teach it to you immediately, it's a family tradition that we all know how to make them."

It's at this exact moment that I decide that I know the answer to one of the first questions I had about the life that had been erased from me.

_Yes, my family does love me. And yes, I do love them._

* * *

**A/N: Yay! An update :D Hope you all enjoyed! Again I'm so super sorry about how long it took! I'll try to have something written out for next weekend! Let me know with a Review please! I promise the next chapter will finally have Brittana interaction :D**

**Spanish Translations (still from Google):**

_Venga, vámonos a casa.- Come on, let's go home._

**BTW Side Note: I know nothing about playing the piano at all, it won't be a central thing in the story but if I mention something about it please don't bite my head off if it's incorrect, thanks :D**

**HEADS UP THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE WHEN I CHANGE THE RATING TO M**

**REPEAT NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE M RATED (so don't say I didn't warn you) most likely it will just contain some stronger language and suggestive themes (because Puck is coming into the piece now lol)**


	7. With Friends Like These

**A/N: First things first, as I mentioned in the AN at the end of my last chapter this fic will now be Rated M, this chapter will contain strong language and mentions of sexual themes (Puck has entered the plot lol)**

**Secondly, sorry I suck so much at keeping my promise of quick updates, my mind has been all over the place :(**

**Thirdly, as requested there is some alone Brittana time (I was all too pleased to meet this request!)**

**As always I hope you enjoy and please, please, please REVIEW! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee!**

* * *

**Chapter Six: **_**With Friends Like These**_

I woke dazed and confused the next morning, sitting up to recall snippets of yet another bizarre dream.

"_What kind of idiot can't read out loud in class?" A stocky young boy sneered at the sniffling blonde girl in front of him in the hall._

_Anger swelled up in my chest along with an instinct to protect this girl. _

"_Are you really going to cry? What a baby! You're in middle school but you're acting like you're in third grade!" The cruel boy laughed._

"_Hey!" the words jumped out of my throat beyond my control. "You leave her alone!" I stomped up to the boy, taking a firm stance between him and the poor girl._

"_What are you going to do about it?" He challenged._

_Without hesitation I pulled back my leg and kicked him in the shin as hard as I could. He dropped to the ground clutching his leg with tears spilling from his eyes._

"_Who's the baby now, jerk?" I ask triumphantly._

_The boy has no answer for me, just turns and presses his face to the floor. I turn and grab the hand of the blonde girl standing behind me and pull her with me away from the kid still nursing his leg._

"_T-thank you." She sniffled as we reached a bench in a deserted hall and took a seat._

"_He deserved it. He's been picking on a lot of people, no me guesta. I'm Santana Lopez by the way." I offer._

"_My names B-Brittany S. Pierce." She mumbles, wiping the last of her tears off her cheeks._

"_Why was he picking on you, Brittany?" I ask gently._

_She sniffs again and avoids my eyes._

"_I don't read good. The teacher asked me to read out loud in class today and I messed up a lot of words." She mutters sadly._

"_That's a silly thing to pick on someone about. I bet he can't even read to begin with!" I tell her and she laughs. I smile at the sound, happy that I can cheer her up._

"_He also made fun of me at lunch for sitting alone…" Brittany mentions ashamed._

"_Well he won't anymore because you won't be sitting alone ever again." I inform her._

"_I won't?" She looks up confused._

"_No, you'll sit with me." I smile and scoot closer to her on the bench and offer her my pinky. The smile that graces her lips mesmerizes me as her pinky wraps around mine tightly…_

_That must have been the first day I met Brittany_. I realize.

Fitting that I have a dream about the day I first met her the night before I meet her. I swallow, suddenly nervous about seeing her today. A knock on my door drew my attention away from my dream.

"Sis, you awake?" I hear Rose call out.

"Yeah, come on in?" I call back.

The door opens slightly and Rose slips inside.

"Hey, you ready for today?" She asks with an excited smile on her face.

I nod without hesitation.

"Mama made pancakes this morning, they're ready downstairs if you're hungry."

"Thanks Rose, I'll be down in a bit." I say.

After she leaves I get out of bed and move to my dresser, shifting through my drawers. I found it strange trying to put together an outfit from clothes I don't recognize. I end up choosing a dark pair of jeans from my closet along with a simple red V-neck shirt.

When I head downstairs I find my family gathered at the kitchen table and a plate of pancakes already set out for me.

"Good morning _mija_, how did you sleep last night?" My Mom asks as I join them at the table.

"Good. I had a dream." I decide to mention. "Well it was a dream but it felt like a memory."

This catches everyone's attention.

"What was it?" My Mom inquires with obvious excitement.

"It was about Brittany," I let slip. "I think it was the first time we met in middle school." I recount the dream to them and they all chuckle.

"That is exactly how you met Brittany, you brought her home that very day to hang out and you two were inseparable ever since." My Mom looks as though she is going to tear up again.

"I was allowed to stay home from school today but Brittany should be here after school gets out." Rose mentions.

"That reminds me, I was wondering how you would feel about going back to school. Obviously we don't want to push you back into school while you're still piecing things together so we'd just like you to keep it in your mind to think about when you would be comfortable going back." My Mom tells me.

"There's absolutely no rush, though." My Dad quickly adds on.

I nod in understanding but still felt anxious. I know I wasn't ready to back to school this week at all being that it was only Wednesday so I would hold off until at least next week. Hopefully I wouldn't fall too far behind. I knew from what my family had told me before that I am a very good student, so hopefully my grades will not suffer too much from this little vacation I'm taking. Is it lame that I'm worried about grades at a time like this?

* * *

After breakfast I head back up to my room to waste some more time and do some more exploring. I find a gold mine in the bottom of my closet in the form of a scrap book. I sit there, on the floor of my walk-in closet and flip it open.

The first page shows a baby in my mother's arms while my father looks down at us with a prideful smile. The next several pages display me at various stages of my childhood, my first day of preschool, riding a tricycle, swimming at the beach, playing on a toy piano. I pause on the first picture I find of me along with two other children who must be a young Puck and Quinn. Nerves build up once again. I had no clue what these people would be like or what they would expect me to be like.

I continued to immerse myself in the scrapbook, freezing once again when I find the first picture that contains Brittany.

A bright smile beneath blue eyes beams at me from the page where she is shown, sitting next to me on the couch with her arm slung over my shoulders. My shoulders tingle slightly.

I turn the page, eager to see more of her. Of the both of us, together.

The next page grants my wish. We are pictured again in fancy dresses with linked arms, maybe before some sort of dance.

_God, she's pretty._ I can't stop thinking it and with every picture I see, this feeling grows. _What is it that makes me feel so weird? I'm not even around her, yet she's effecting me this much?_

I shook my head and turned some more pages. The last one grabs my attention again.

It must have been the most recent, probably taken just this summer. We stood, arms draped around each other's waist, almost possessively, wearing bikini swim suits. And wow. I looked only briefly at myself, clad in a red two piece, instead my eyes settled naturally on Brittany in a turquoise blue bikini that showed off her incredible legs and abs.

I'm not sure how long it was before I blinked.

I shook myself and shut the scrapbook.

"She's my best friend." I said out loud to myself. "My beautiful best friend." I said a little quieter.

I sat on the floor of my closet, gathering my thoughts. This wasn't making any sense.

_How could I be feeling this way for her if I have a boyfriend? How long have I felt this way? For all I know this could just be my concussed brain tripping me out._ I settled on that last thought, deciding to blame my retrograde amnesia for my emotions, not knowing what else to do.

Reaching for the other scrapbook that had been beneath the one I had been studying. I dove into the binder. Greedily absorbing every image before my eyes. It appears this scrapbook was simply a family one, chalk-full of family members whose names I couldn't even hope to recall. I tried anyway.

* * *

I'm not sure how long I stayed in my closet, pouring over the pages. It must have been a while. The next thing I know Rose is bursting into my room.

"Brittany's here!" She exclaims.

My heart freezes then jumps rapidly. I tell myself it's because I'm excited to see one of the only people I've somewhat remembered.

I leave my closet to find Rose standing just inside my room, Brittany appears outside the threshold to my room and freezes.

For the longest moment there is any empty silence. Empty of sound but full of something else. Something I can't quite name.

Then suddenly Brittany is rushing toward me, arms outstretched and wrapping around me tightly, and I'm instantly returning the embrace. This is familiar, this embrace coupled with the smell of lavender. I feel her bury her face in my hair and for the first time I notice her shaking. I pull away, alarmed. Tears brim in her eyes when her face meets mine.

"H-hey." She whispered, our faces close.

"Hi." I return.

"You- you don't remember me do you?" She asks.

"I kind of do." I tell her. Her eyes widen and lighten. "You're my best friend, right?" I say with a smile, proud of the memories I've been able to pull together.

"Y-yeah. Best friend, that's me." She says with a small grin and pulls me back into a hug.

"I'll, uh, I'll give you guys a bit." Rose says and quietly slips out, closing the door behind her.

It's Brittany that pulls away this time.

"It's good to see you." She says.

"It's good to see you too." I reply truthfully.

"How have you been feeling?"

"Not too bad, the headaches have mostly gone away. And I'm remembering bits and pieces, only old stuff though, nothing big either." I shrug.

"That's good, though! It's starting to come back!"

"Slowly but surely." I affirm.

"Good." Brittany's eyes capture mine again, bright and hopeful.

"I remember meeting you." I tell her, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"In middle school? You remembered that?" Brittany giggled and I flashed back to the first dream I had of us, lying in the grass, _nearly kissing_.

I nod as she takes a seat on the bed with me.

"Is there anything else you remembered? About, you know- us?" She tried.

"N-no. Nothing else." I tell her.

And I believe that's the honest truth. Brittany herself confirmed that we're best friends. Only best friends. So the first dream I had couldn't have been a memory. It was just a product of my concussed imagination.

"Oh." Brittany nodded slowly.

"Sorry. Believe me, I'm disappointed too, but I'm still working on it." I offer.

"No, don't be sorry. It's not- It's not your fault…" Brittany trails off. Am I mistaken or is there guilt in her eyes?_ But why would she feel guilty?_ I open my mouth to ask but she cuts me off first.

"Puck and Quinn will be late, by the way. Puck has football practice and Quinn has Cheerios practice, so they'll both be here when they get done. Both of their practices are mandatory, otherwise they would have been here too."

"Cheerios? Those are the cheerleaders at our school, right? I'm a Cheerio? Aren't I? Wait a minute, aren't you a Cheerio too?" I grasp.

Brittany smiles wider and nods. "Yeah, you're a co-captain with Quinn and I'm on the squad too."

"Shouldn't you be at the mandatory practice then?" I ask.

"Technically, yes, I should be. But I already know the choreography for the routine because I came up with it, so I don't really have to be there. Besides, even if I didn't know the moves, there's no way I would have missed coming to finally see you. "She confessed.

"I'm glad you came. Like I said, I've pieced together a few things but nothing major yet. I can't even think of the password to my phone."

"6969." Britt blurts.

"What?"

"Your phone passcode, it's 6969, unless you changed it without me knowing, it's been that forever."

"My phone passcode is sixty-nine, sixty-nine?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that's your signature humor at work." Britt laughed.

I grab my phone from the bedside table and enter in the code. Sure enough, the screen unlocks, revealing no less than 36 unread text messages along with 11 missed calls. I scroll through them briefly and read a few. Half turn out to be from Brittany, half from Matt. _These must have been the night of the accident._

"_Where are you at?" from Britt-Britt_

"_Come back to the party." from Matt_

"_I left the front door unlocked for you." from Britt-Britt_

"_I miss you." from Matt_

"_It's getting late, did you change your mind or something? What's going on?" from Britt-Britt_

"_Please come back, I love you." from Matt_

"_Are you still coming?" from Britt-Britt_

"_Come on babe. I want to see you." from Matt_

The rest of the texts came from my sister and then my parents, all asking about my whereabouts.

"I don't suppose you know the password to my laptop do you?" I try.

"SexySnixx69." Brittany replies easily. I laugh. _I guess that really is my signature humor._

I make a note on my phone of my password in my phone and set it back on my table, I can explore that more later, right now I have a fountain of knowledge sitting right next to me.

"So I was supposed to be going to your house after the party?"

"Yeah. You said you were just going to stop and see Matt quick, then you were going to spend the weekend at my house." Brittany looked down at her hands in her lap. "When you didn't show up I thought- maybe you decided to stay at the party? But then you never texted or called me back, so I knew either you had lost your phone or something had happened because you always text me back."

"And it was Matt's party, right? My boyfriend?"

Brittany's eyes harden slightly.

"Yeah, he'd been bugging you for not spending time with him lately, so you went to the party for him. At least for a little while." Britt spoke quietly, then cleared her throat and continued. "He's been asking about you, by the way. He keeps asking me if I've seen you already and stuff. He says he's sorry about arguing with you at the party."

Brittany looked away from me when she had finished.

"We argued? Did we break up or something?"

Brittany shook her head. "No. He, uh, he said you guys just had a small fight, but it was okay because," Brittany cleared her throat again "because you two _made up_ afterwards."

_Oh._

"I-uh, don't remember that. But you probably already know that. Have Matt and I-er _made up_ before?" I ask awkwardly.

"If you're asking if you two have had sex before, no, you haven't, not that I know of anyway. You usually tell me just about everything that goes on with you and Matt, but I don't know if you do anymore."

I accounted Brittany's strange voice to the fact that it was weird to be asking your best friend if you had shacked up with your boyfriend because you don't remember jack shit.

"What do you mean? What have I told you about Matt?"

Brittany hesitated slightly "Well, in the weeks before the party you two had been fighting quite a bit. Matt kept saying that you never spent time with him anymore and you told me that-well, you thought he was being clingy."

"_Come on, baby. Why don't you spend the night at my house?" a husky voice muttered into my neck._

_My stomach rolled unpleasantly and I pushed back whoever was invading my personal space._

"_I told you, I'm staying the night at Britt's house." _

_The boyish face of Matt looks at me from the seat beside me on the couch._

"_Didn't you just spend the night with her like yesterday or something?" He groaned._

"_That was last week. Besides, your parents are home. And I'm still not-" _

"_Not ready, I know, I know. But we don't have to have sex. I mean, yeah that'd be awesome but you could still stay over. My parents would just have you stay in the extra room, but in the middle of the night I could sneak over and we could do some-you know-stuff…" Matt wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and moved to attack my neck again. I pulled back._

"_I promised Britt we would work on our project for History. It's due in two days and she's freaking out it won't be finished in time."_

"_Well why doesn't Britt just work on it herself?" Matt huffed, clearly getting frustrated._

"_It's a group project. She can't do the whole thing herself or I won't get any points." _

_Matt leaned back against the sofa cushions rubbing his hands over his face._

"_Why is it you're always with Brittany constantly? It's like you put her over me all the time!" Matt's voice rose._

"_She's my best friend! We've been best friends since before I even met you, Matt! So yeah, I put her before you, so what? You're just pissed cause I won't fucking put out for you." I hiss._

"_Well we've been dating for months now!" Matt exclaimed._

_Disgusted I jumped up from the couch and headed for the door._

"_Santana, come on. I didn't mean it like that!" He called out._

"_Oh don't even try that, Matt, we both know you did. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to Brittany's house early. But if you do mind, I don't honestly give a fuck."_

_Sending one last glare over my shoulder, I leave, slamming the door behind me._

A hand waving in front of my face snapped me back.

"San? You okay? You spaced out on me." Brittany's eyebrows knotted in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine- I just… Matt and I were fighting about you." I tell her.

Brittany's confusion is evident on her face.

"What about me? When?"

"I don't know when, I don't think it was from the party. We were alone in his living room so it must've been before that. He was jealous that I was spending so much time with you instead of him." I explain.

"Makes sense, we are pretty much inseparable." She smiles softly.

Brittany launches herself, excitedly into describing our friendship. Sleepovers, camping trips, parties, hanging out. We're the best friends that are in the movies. The ones that randomly show up at each other's houses and it's totally fine because it's like we're family anyway. The more she recounts to me, the more familiar she feels and the less confused I am. Talking with her is easy, like we can read each other's minds and even though my memory is still full of gaping holes, I feel like I know her.

"You won't get in trouble for skipping practice will you?" I'd feel horrible if Coach made her run laps for missing. One thing I did recall vividly was how cruel Coach Sue could be with her punishments.

"I won't, Quinn agreed to cover for me with Coach Sue."

"That was cool of her. But you didn't have to skip practice for me."

"Of course I had to, San. I visited at the hospital when you were unconscious, after you woke up they wouldn't allow any visitors until you had settled in, then you were coming home for the first time and I didn't want to overwhelm you. Otherwise I would have been here sooner because- well, because I love you." Her hand slipped into mine softly. "I mean, you're my best friend, so of course, I love you." She blushed.

And just like that, this warmth rushes through me, familiar and inviting. I squeeze her hand in mine and can't help but lean a little closer.

"I've missed you." She murmurs. "I was so worried that you wouldn't wake up. And I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't- I don't-"Tears well again and I raise my hand to cup her cheek.

"Hey, I woke up. Okay. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere." I tell her, unconsciously brushing my thumb lightly across her cheek. Her lips pull into a wobbly smile and she nods.

We sit still for a long moment. Her eyes hold me captive once again. Deep pools of blue that draw me in, but not against my will, no, I feel completely willing to be taken hostage. I find myself leaning closer to her, drawn in helplessly.

"Yo! Lopez! You're awake and walking huh?" A loud voice calls from the hall and the door to my room snaps open.

Brittany and I jerk apart quickly. Looking to the door I see a tall, muscular boy with a mohawk barge into the room followed by a shorter-haired blonde girl with green eyes. I recognize them as Puck and Quinn from the photos.

"Jesus, Puck, just go right in, why don't you?" Quinn scolds.

"I did." Puck shrugs.

Quinn rolls her eyes and turns an apologetic smile to me. "Sorry, I've been trying to teach him manners since he was seven, he still hasn't caught on yet."

I laugh, this is the Quinn and Puck that I have caught fleeting memories of. Brittany and I awkwardly distance ourselves from each other and Puck takes the opportunity to seat himself between us without invitation. Puck's arm hooked around my shoulders and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug.

"How you holding up, Lopez?" He asks gruffly.

"I'd be better if I could breathe." I choke out. He laughs and releases me from his hold.

"Yeah, Puck, that's a great idea to crush her body, fresh out of a car accident. Keep it up meat head." Quinn smacks the back of his head before reaching down to offer me a much gentler hug which I accept gratefully. I was still sore from time to time from the accident, mostly my chest and head. But it was going away steadily.

"So what have I been missing in school?" I ask, eager to hear what's going on.

"Not much, a lot of people are talking about you. About the memory-loss part of you anyway." Puck shrugs.

"Jacob Ben Israel has been trying to interview us just about every time he sees us in the hall for his dumbass blog. Coach Sue has been overseeing practices lately to make sure I'm okay whipping the younger Cheerios into shape without you. By the way, Sue knows you skipped practice today, Britt, sorry! She just showed up out of nowhere! But I told her you were going to see San and she didn't seem all that pissed about it, maybe you'll get off easy?" Quinn drags over my desk chair and collapses into it. No doubt exhausted from conditioning at practice I'm guessing.

"Oh crap balls. Get off easy how? She'll only make me run a dozen laps instead of two dozen?" Brittany's shoulders sag.

"Maybe. Besides, you're in such good shape, running laps is like nothing to you."

"Ugh, yeah, but it doesn't mean I want to run them!"

"I'm sorry, Britt. I'll talk to Sue about it, maybe I can help." I offer hopefully.

"Wow, you're severely concussed aren't you?" Quinn looks at me.

"It'll be fine, San. I'll have my Mom talk to Sue. For some reason, Sue loves my Mom. They went to college together or something." Britt waves it off.

"So when do you think you'll be coming back to school?" Puck asks me.

"Probably not until next week at least, I'm not sure yet."

"School's not the same without having my co-HBIC there with me." Quinn pouts.

"HBIC?" I ask.

"Head Bitch In Charge." Puck translates.

"The Cheerios rule the school, we're head Cheerios, therefore, by extension, we rule the place." Quinn shrugs nonchalantly. "Britt kinda does too, being that she's the only other senior on the squad, she's just a lot nicer about it."

Brittany shakes her head with a laugh. "To me, there's no point in terrorizing people into submission when I can just smile and get along with them."

"We could do that too, if we tried, but this way is a lot faster for us." Quinn smirks.

"You know, I like a woman that takes charge." Puck says, lying back on the bed and folding his arms behind his head.

"Puck, you've been hitting on all of us ever since you hit puberty, we've never gone for you before what makes you think we will now all of a sudden?" Quinn tosses a book from my shelf onto his stomach making him grunt.

"Well, Santana here, doesn't know that so why not give it a try, right?" Puck winks in my direction before receiving a punch on the arm from Brittany.

"Stop being such a sleaze ball, Puck. She doesn't want a ride on the Puckasaurus, no one does." Quinn deadpans.

"Hey now! One of these days you ladies are going to change your mind. I won't hold this against you when you do." Puck tosses the book back to Quinn who replaces it on the shelf.

_This is all too familiar_. I think back to hanging out with these friends in the Music Room downstairs. Puck strumming a guitar to accompany me on the piano while Quinn and Brittany dance around singing off key on purpose.

_I could get used to having these flashbacks._ I smile to myself as Puck and Quinn continue to bicker back and forth with Brittany serving as a referee. This is just what the doctor ordered. Natural interaction with familiar faces. I joined in on the witty banter occasionally, easing back into myself a little bit.

_With friends, like these, I'll get by just fine. _I think. It's only a matter of time before it all comes back.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Real Brittana moment finally! I hope that was the one-on-one time that you were looking for sidspa. I myself am a little disappointed by how this one turned out but I wanted to get this chapter out to you guys finally!**

**Next chapter we meet Matt and he has some explaining to do :o **

**Again, I am so super sorry for taking so long I feel terrible about it. **

**I'll let you all know right now that I won't be updating until about June 20****th**** or so because I've got so much still going on right now it's hard to focus on writing cohesively. Please have patience with me and thanks again for reading!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! all the comments, no matter how big or small encourage me to keep writing, so thank you all so much! :D**


	8. Familiar Songs & Faces

**A/N: Ugh, I've finally handled all the crap I've had to do lately, thanks so much for your patience guys! This chapter will have Matt and Santana interaction, unfortunately little to no Brittana (I'm sorry guys but next chapter is ALL BRITTANA I PROMISE)**

**Also, I mentioned earlier that piano wouldn't be a central thing but it will show up in this chapter and in at least two others with some significance. Soooo, yeah.**

**As always please enjoy and review! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any characters from glee :/**

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**Chapter 7: **_**Familiar Songs and Faces**_

My fingertips danced along the cool smooth surface of the piano keys, playing from muscle memory.

I'd been in the music room for the majority of the day now, discovering that I could remember how to play some pieces, or at least pieces of pieces. I recognized that they were broken and fractured. They didn't flow, not like I knew they were supposed to.

Childish tunes such as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" I could match words to and play in full, but that wasn't satisfying to say the least.

One melody, however, was stuck in my mind in particular. I placed my hands to the piano and played it in full, humming along but with no words to connect to it. I played it once, twice, three times completely through, growing more frustrated with my missing lyrics. But at least this song had flow to it, my fingers moved easily and fluidly along without hesitation. It was familiar.

_Maybe it's recent._

I run through the song for the fourth time, just for the sake of it.

"_Eso suena hermosa_, _mija_." My mother's voice sounds from behind me. Startled my hands jump on the keys.I had been so focused on trying to pry lyrics from my brain I hadn't heard the door open.

"_Gracias, Mami_."

"Someone's stopped by to see you." She holds the door open behind her and I watch as Matt walks in with a nervous smile.

I wait to feel something similar to what I had experienced when Brittany stopped over yesterday but it doesn't come, it's just a sense of déjà vu.

"Hey, baby." He greets and makes his way over to me.

"I'll let you two-um- _talk._" She gives Matt a look that clearly says _don't-think-I-don't know-what-you're-after._ "I'll be right up stairs if you need anything." She says to me before leaving, making a show of pulling the door wide open and leaving it open.

I rise from the piano bench and pull down the lid to cover the keys.

"Hi, Matt." I offer the best smile I can muster.

"You remember me?" He asks, surprised.

"No, not really. People have been filling me in, though."

"What have they been saying?"

"Well I know that you're my boyfriend, apparently for six months now. That's kind of it, I've been a little overloaded with everything else, sorry."

"No, it's fine. I totally understand." Matt came closer and grasped my hands. "I'm just glad you're okay." He pulled me into his arms. "I've missed you." He whispers into my hair.

_Can't exactly say I missed you, I didn't know you existed when I woke up in the hospital._ _Sorry._

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since the party…" Matt's hands slid down my arms and wrapped around my waist.

My body locked up. _Why doesn't this feel right?_

"Right. The party."

"You don't remember any of it do you?" Matt bit down on his lip.

"I only know what Brittany has filled me in on." I tell him.

"What has she told you?" Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Just that I was supposed to come over to her house after I left. She also mentioned that we may have…"

A cocky grin lit up Matt's face.

"Uh, yeah, we went upstairs a little while after you showed up and had some _alone time_."

"Did we, you know… do it?" I cringe as the question leaves my mouth.

"No, not exactly. I mean it depends on what you consider to be sex. It was just- well it was a little more than just _touching_-"

"I get it." I cut him off, shuddering at the suggestion. _And he told Brittany what we did? Does he share all the details of our intimate moments?_

"I remember that part of the night vividly. But after that the night's kind of a blur for me. I had a couple beers too many after you left."

"Do you remember anything before we went upstairs?"

"Uh, we talked a bit about how we've been bickering about you spending so much time with your friends over me. We settled it, actually. You told me you would work more on hanging out with me." Another smile tugged at his lips and his hands slipped into mine.

"Oh, well that's good, right?"

"That's very good." Matt shuffled a little closer. "And I promised that I would work harder on sharing my feelings with you about stuff. And I guess now is a good time to really start doing that. So lately I've been missing you, just hoping that you would be okay when you get out of hospital. And I've been hoping to help you remember stuff about us…" He flashes me another cheesy smile and leans a little closer. "And I've been thinking that maybe _this _might remind you."

And suddenly his hands are cupping my face and his lips are pressing against mine. My initial reaction is panic, followed closely by confusion.

_This isn't right. Why isn't this right?_

I pushed at Matt's chest as I registered that he was attempting to deepen the kiss. I stepped away from him when he finally pulled back out of the kiss.

"I'm sorry, that was too fast wasn't it?" He stammered. "God, I'm stupid, of course that was too fast, you barely know me right now!" Matt ran his hands over the face.

"Yeah, that was- it was a little much."

"I'm so sorry, I just thought that maybe that would bring something back, you know?" Matt's eyes pleaded.

"I get it. It's okay." I can't help trying to ease his anxiety.

"Nothing came back?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize. It's okay, we'll figure this out." Matt's gentle smile returned and he held my hands again.

"Maybe it would help you tell me how we got together in the first place. Rose only knew that I came home from school one day with a boyfriend. That's not a lot of detail for me to go on." I chuckle.

Matt nodded with enthusiasm "Yeah, sure! Okay, let me think for a second. I don't want to leave anything out for you." He sank down onto one of the loveseats and guided me down next to him.

I was starting to feel guilty. Why? I wasn't sure. It seemed like Matt was head over heels for me. Yet, I didn't seem to feel anything more than a friendly fondness for the guy. Which was really too bad, because he did seem pretty sweet.2

"Okay, I'll start from the very beginning." He announced. "We've known each other since we were Freshmen. You being a cheerleader and me being a starting Varsity football player we saw each other all the time at practices and games. It wasn't until the end of last year that I worked up the nerve to ask you to prom. You've always been the girl that every guy wants to be with, I was almost positive that you would say no but I tried anyway. I left a flower in your locker one morning and a flower on your desk in each of your classes so by the end of the day you'd have a bunch of them. Then during your last hour class I came in with another bouquet of flowers and a sign that said 'Will You Be My Prom Queen?'. By some miracle you said yes, then after going to prom I asked you to go on a date with me and then we were dating." Matt placed his hand on my knee and I desperately tried not to squirm in discomfort.

"We stayed together over the summer and into senior year." He finished with a smile.

"You went to a football camp over the summer." I randomly recall.

"Yeah, I did for like two weeks." Matt explains, excited.

"I went camping with Brittany while you were gone."

"I didn't know that." Matt's brows pull together with a frown.

"At least I think I did. Sometimes it's hard for me to separate what has happened from stuff my brain is trying to fill in the blanks with." I shrug.

"How can you tell the difference?"

"I don't know. There's this feeling that comes with something that I think is true, I can't really explain it."

Matt takes a hold of my hands.

"Well I hope this feeling comes to you whenever you think of me."

The guilt sets in again. Any girl would be lucky to have a guy that says stuff like this. _Why can't I feel any sort of connection?_

"Yo, San, you down here?" Rose's voice sounds from the doorway to the music room.

She walks through the doorway with a smile. As she comes around the couch her eyes settle on Matt.

"What are you doing here?" Her smile fades.

"I came to see my girlfriend." Matt's voice has turned hard.

They stare each other down for a moment.

"Uh…What's up, Rose?" I break the icy silence.

"I just came to see if you wanted to go over and see Abuela later tonight. She really wants to see you. She said she'll make your favorite spicy shrimp pasta for dinner."

"Yeah, that sounds great!" I smile.

"Awesome, I'll let Mami know." I could have sworn Rose gave Matt a glare before she left.

"So I take it you and Rose don't get alone very well?" I take a wild guess after Rose's footteps on the stairs fade.

"No, I don't really get it, myself. I thought we got along just fine during the first couple months that we started dating but for the past several months it's like she can't stand me or something. I honestly don't know what I did to piss her off." Matt shrugs.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I let go of Matt's hands to check it.

_Hey! What's up? From Britt-Britt_

I can't stop the smile from showing on my face.

"Who is it?" Matt asks, trying to peek at my screen. I pull back instinctively and he frowns.

"It's Brittany."

"What does she want?" Matt's voice has turned stony again. My gut tells me he's still not over the fact that I put Brittany over him in the past.

"She just said 'Hi'." I tell him. He settles back against the couch cushions.

_Hey Britt! _ I send back.

My phone buzzes almost instantly with a reply.

_Do you wanna hang out at my house tomorrow? From Britt-Britt_

My smile grows.

_Sounds like fun! To Britt-Britt_

I hear Matt huff beside me.

_Okay, what is it with this guy? Possessive much?_

Rapid footsteps on the stairs pull our attention.

"Mami says we'll leave in like an hour." Rose says to me then focuses a narrowed gaze on Matt, clearly sending the message _'you can leave now'._

"I've never had your Abuela's cooking before." Matt ignores Rose's stare, obviously waiting for an invitation from me.

"I guess technically I have, but I'll be getting reacquainted with it tonight." Is all I say.

Matt's face clearly expresses his disappointment.

"Abuela's table only has five seats so…" Rose sends him a smug grin.

"I guess I'll see you later, Santana." Matt presses his lips to my cheek again and stands. As he passes through the door his eyes meet Rose's and they hold a brief staring contest before he moves up the stairs.

* * *

"_Oh Santanita, Rosalina! Mis hermosas nietas!_ _Venga dentro! Venga dentro!" _My Abuela ushers us into her home wrapping her arms around us both and squeezing us tightly.

"Let me look at you." Abuela pulls back and surveys me. "_¿Cómo te sientes?_"

"_Bueno, Abuelita."_

"I pray very much for your health, _Ni__ña,"_ My Abuela says with a familiar heavy accent.

Seeing her brings me back to summer afternoons making empanadas in the kitchen and large family gatherings in the backyard.

"Chocolate and banana empanadas…" I mutter half to myself.

"_Si! _You and your sister's favorite kind! We make all the time!" Abuela grins. "We make them tonight!" She says. "But first, you taste the shrimp pasta! You remember the pasta?"

"I've been told it's my favorite but I don't remember the recipe."

"Whenever you try to recreate Abuela's spicy shrimp pasta you never get it quite right." My mother says.

"You always make it way too spicy! I lose feeling in my mouth when you try to make it for dinner!" Rose laughs.

"Come then, I show you how to make it!" Abuela leads me into a large kitchen. Memories of the space rush to me. Dozens or so people bustling around, cooking, talking, laughing.

I pay close attention to each step of the recipe and listen to my Abuela recount stories of huge family dinners. I easily remember how loud they were. My parents and Abuela watch with smiles as me and my sister argue about the spices to add to the dish. Abuela finally settles the dispute by telling us that we're both wrong. She adds the finishing touches to the pasta and we move to the dining room. I pause for a minute as I realize the table can fit a lot more than five people. Try about fifteen. I raise my eyebrows at Rose as we place plates on the table. She catches my gaze and shrugs innocently.

"Plenty of room for six." I mention causally.

"I like to have a lot of elbow space." She replies, focusing on placing silverware next to plates.

"Right."

"Look, the guy just gets on my nerves sometimes."

"He said it hasn't always been like that. What changed?" I ask. Rose remains quiet.

"Did he do something?" I ask worried.

"No. He didn't do anything. Things just changed."

The way Rose's eyes stare into mine it's like she's trying to force me to remember something. _Why won't she just tell me what's going on?_

Before I can ask, Abuela and our parents enter the dining room bringing in the food. I send Rose a clear message '_we're not doing talking about this'_.

We get settled around one end of the table and Abuela reaches her hands out. "We pray first." She grasps my hand next to her and my father's on the other side, bowing her head.

"Bless us Oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. Amen."

"Amen." We echo.

Abuela watches my reaction intently as I put my first forkful of pasta into my mouth. My eyes widen at the flavor. This is quite possibly the best thing I've ever tasted.

"You like?"

"_Si, Abuelita. Me encanta._" I tell her.

"Of course you do!" She beams with pride.

Throughout the dinner I find more of myself coming back to me. Memories of holidays and birthdays around this very table, of boisterous cousins and hilarious aunts and uncles. By the time we get home after dinner. I know almost all the names of my extended family. Everything is coming back much faster now. Memories from things that I've been familiar with since a young age have returned although recent ones continue to elude me. Hopefully not for too much longer.

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**A/N: I promise the Matt &amp; Santana thing will not be for too much longer, only a couple more chapters (three?). I'm still working out the plot a little bit but I promise Brittana moments will be on the rise, starting with the next chapter which will be them hanging at Britt's house! **

**BTW when I'm typing dialogue spoken by Santana's grandmother (Abuela) I'm typing it as though she doesn't speak English very well so it shouldn't be perfect I hope it's still understandable though!**

**Spanish Translations (from Google Translate and ):**

_Eso suena hermosa_, _mija- That sounds beautiful, (term of endearment for daughter?)_

_Gracias, Mami- Thanks Mom_

_Mis hermosas nietas!_ _Venga dentro! Venga dentro!- My beautiful granddaughters! Come inside! Come inside!_

_¿Cómo te sientes?- How do you feel?_

_Bueno, Abuelita.- Good, Granny._

_Ni__ña- Baby girl?_

_Si Abuelita. Me encanta.- Yes, Granny. I love it._

**Please Review! I seriously love when you guys let me know what you think about how the story is going! **

**PS: what do you guys think about Puck &amp; Quinn?... And what song do you think Santana was playing on the piano?... :o**


	9. Ducks & Shooting Stars

**A/N: This chapter is all Brittana from start to end just for you guys! (and for myself not gonna lie :P)**

**Why have I taken so long to update…Oh my god it's been like three months hasn't it? Well I could try and list excuses but the main one is that I just hit a wall with writing this part. I've managed to outline several other portions of the story but when it came to this chapter I just wasn't happy with what I was writing (still not 100% satisfied but close enough).**

**To My Awesome Reviewers:**

**Fiction: You are the best, thank you for pointing things out to that annoying Guest (good-riddance to that person).**

**BlueRedG52: Thanks! And I've planned out the plot a lot better now, updates should flow easier now!**

**The Guest (that had good things to say): Thanks! I wanted to make sure to show a strong connection between them to show that Matt doesn't mean anything to her compared to Brittany : )**

**Anyway, here it is! Please enjoy and please review I absolutely love hearing for you guys! Even the small things!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything from it!**

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**Chapter 8: **_**Ducks and Shooting Stars**_

My palms were sweating as I parked my car outside Brittany's house. The mixture of nerves and excitement was one that I was getting used to. I checked the clock on the dashboard.

_Crap. I'm 15 minutes early!_

I bit my lip and glanced at the front door of the house.

_Should I wait in the car? _I didn't want to show up overly eager to see her, even though I knew that I was. I couldn't help it.

Out of the corner of my eye I see the front door open and a familiar blonde head peeks out.

_Well, that settles it then. I guess I'll go in now._

The walk to her front door seems to take forever. _Why is it that I always want to be right next to her the moment I see her?_

"Hey!" She greets me cheerfully.

"Hey." I return, smiling like an idiot when she leans in to hug me.

"I'm glad you could find my house." She steps back and holds the door open in invitation.

"I actually remembered how to get here. From like, middle school memories I guess." I shrug.

"So how much of your memory is back?" Brittany's eyes widen.

"A lot of it has come back. But it's only old stuff, like from when I was younger. I don't have many from recent years, it's weird. Like my head is starting over from the beginning."

"Oh. Well, sometimes starting over can be a good thing." Blue eyes looked to the floor as she said that. "But, anyway, let's not talk about that stuff anymore. Let's just hang out." She flashes a bright smile and leads me into the kitchen.

Entering the Pierce home I'm bombarded with an immense feeling of déjà vu and the smell of baking brownies. Recalling times where I would simply walk into the house without knocking, like I was a part of the family.

As we crossed through to the kitchen a taller version of Brittany rushes to pull me into a hug.

"Santana! Oh, it's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you too, Mrs. Pierce."

"I know you've lost a lot of your memory but you call me, Susan. Mrs. Pierce is my mother. I'm so glad you're okay, dear. Things just haven't been the same without you around here lately. My Britty-Bee has been all mopey without you."

"Mom." Britt hisses behind me.

"And grumpy too." Mrs. Pierce adds. "If you girls need anything I'll be right here. I'll bring you girls some brownies when they're out of the oven."

"Okay, thanks, Mom." Britt rushes out and tugs me down the hall quickly.

"Thanks, Susan!" I call out.

Brittany leads me by the hand into her room and shuts the door behind us.

The familiar sense of _I've been here before_ returns as I check out the room.

I can feel Brittany's eyes on me as I move around the room, taking it all in. The walls are painted a cheerful yellow to compliment her light grey and white stripped bedspread.

The bedside table displays a picture frame of the two of us decked out in our Cheerios uniforms performing at a competition. Medals from such competition hung from a display on the wall.

It's a shelf on her wall that catches my attention. A plush, lime-green colored, duck stares back at me from the shelf. Without thinking, I reach up to grab it.

"Winston." I mutter.

_The scent of cotton candy and popcorn overtakes my senses as we pass by yet another food stand on the street and weave through carnival games._

"_Step right up! Throw the ball! Hit the bottles! Win the prize!" the man behind a stand calls out to the crowd. I follow Brittany's gaze to the prize table adorned with stuffed animals._

"_That is the most adorable duck I've ever seen." Britt giggles._

_The man working the stand seemed to have overheard her._

"_The duck is yours if you knock down the bottles! That's all it takes! Three throws for three dollars!"_

_Britt shook her head. "I can't hit the broad side of a barn." She frowns._

"_I can." I speak up and before I know it I'm handing three dollars to the guy._

"_San, you don't have to get me the duck." Britt says._

"_I know that, but this game looks easy. I got this, Britt."_

_Stepping up to the counter I grab the first softball and aimed for the stack of bottles. I missed by a mile._

"_San-"_

"_That was just a warm up throw! I got this!" I repeat. The stand worker chuckles at me so I shoot him one of my signature glares. He quiets._

_The second ball only barely misses the stack._

"_San-"_

"_I got it, Britt, don't worry!" I tell her again._

_Third time turns out to be the charm as the ball slams into the middle of the stack, sending the bottles tumbling._

"_Yes!" I raise my arms in victory. Brittany laughs at me and cheers me on._

"_Fair enough! Which one would you like?" the stand worker motions to the prizes._

_I pick out the duck and hand it to Brittany. She accepts it with a squeal._

"_See, this is why you're my best friend!" She says._

_Best friend. Right._

"You remember Winston?" Britt chuckles and I snap out of my daze.

"Yeah, the street fair the summer of our junior year." I smile. "The same summer we went on a camping trip, right?"

"Yeah! We drove to Sycamore State Park with Quinn and Puck."

"And Matt was at football camp so he couldn't make it." I added. Brittany's smile dimmed somewhat.

"Have you seen Matt yet?" She asked, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah, he came by my house yesterday." I joined her on the bed.

"Oh. How did that go?" Brittany glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.

I shrugged. "It was kind of awkward. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I don't remember the feelings that I have for him. But I know that I liked him. I mean I must have, right? I went to prom with the guy and have been dating him for half a year."

Brittany was silent for a moment.

"Actually, Santana, I-" Britt's mouth snapped shut as a knock sounded on the door.

Susan cracked the door open and stepped in holding a plate of brownies.

"Sorry to interrupt ladies but I did promise you brownies!" She offered the plate to each of us. "I knew if I didn't bring you girls a snack pretty soon you would come looking for one and end up eating us out of house and home within minutes."

"Like the time we came home from Cheerios camp and went through all the food in the kitchen. So we had to go grocery shopping!" I laughed.

"Oh, I remember that! I came home and couldn't find the pasta that I had already cooked to use for spaghetti!" Susan threw her head back with laughter.

"Ugh, Coach Sue made us run until we puked because we gained like two pounds from that night." Britt shuddered at the memory.

"It was worth it though because we had Susan's leftover lasagna! Your lasagna is the bomb Susan! I can't say it's better than my Abuela's cooking but it's damn close." I tell her.

"I appreciate that very much Santana." Susan slipped her arm around my shoulders for a brief side hug.

"Alright, I'll leave you girls to gossip now." Susan headed back to the door. "Before I go, Santana will you be staying for dinner?"

I looked to Brittany who sent me an inviting smile and nod.

"Okay, sure."

"Fantastic, maybe I'll make some lasagna for tonight then?"

"You don't have to make it special for me, Susan."

"Oh nonsense! You're like another daughter to me Santana, if I want to spoil you, I'll do it!" She smiled warmly before exiting the room and closing the door behind herself.

Brittany stayed looking at the closed door for a minute.

"What were you going to say Britt?"

"Uh-just that… I was wondering when you were going to come back to school?" She breathed out.

"Oh, well I was thinking that I might go back this Monday. Or try to at least and we'll see how it goes."

"Good. And will you be back at Cheerios practice too then?"

"I'll be there to watch the squad but I'm not cleared to practice according to my doctor. Something about cheerleading having a high probability for a head injury if I fell from the pyramid."

"I'd catch you before you fell." Britt says.

The way she freezes next to me makes me think that she didn't realize that she had said that aloud.

"I-I mean, that's what best friends do. They have each other's backs, right?" She nudges my shoulder with her own and stuffs her brownie into her mouth suddenly.

"I'd catch you too Britt." I say with honesty and take a bite out of my own brownie.

I can't tell if I imagined the slight blush on her cheeks, she turns away from me before I can tell.

"These brownies are amazing! There's no way that came out of a box." I groan as a swallow the last bite.

"My mom would never use a box mix, she's a recipe master. Me, on the other hand, I can barely make mac n' cheese without burning it somehow." Britt shrugs.

"You make amazing pancakes though!"

"You remember my pancakes?" Britt smiles and I can't help but notice the way her nose scrunches up when she does.

"Yeah, chocolate chip pancakes are the only kind you'll make though."

"Well, I could make others but those ones are the best, duh!" We laugh.

"I remember in middle school for winter break I stayed over at your house like three days straight and all we had to eat were chocolate chip pancakes while we binge watched every Disney movie ever made."

"Oh my God, that was the best! Wait! Do you remember seeing them all?" Brittany turns to me seriously. "Because if not, then we have to watch them, like right now!"

"I think I could do with a little refreshing on them." I admit.

The tall blonde hops and off the bed and heads towards the TV sitting on the dresser across from the bed. Picking up a plastic storage tub from the floor and bringing it over to me.

Peering inside I find the box filled with every Disney movie imaginable. A grin tugs at my lips as my eyes flit over all the titles, recounting nights spent swaddled in blankets, eating popcorn, and watching The Lion King or Mulan. When I see the blue case of Frozen I pause then point to it.

"How about we start with this one?"

Seeing my choice Britt's face splits into a smile. "I love this one! Olaf is the cutest thing ever!"

After popping in the DVD Britt bounces over to the bed and helps me adjust the pillows against the headboard for us. We settled against the pillows shoulder to shoulder and sang along, sometimes on key, sometimes horribly off and giggling the entire time.

* * *

"Is there anything I can help with, Susan?" I offer as Britt and I come out for dinner.

"All I need you to do is sit down and enjoy, Santana."

"That I can do." I laugh and head towards the table.

Looking at the empty chairs it's easy for me to recall the one that I've been sitting in ever since I met Brittany in the 7th grade. I take the seat that will be to the right of Brittany's chair and across the table from her parents.

"It's nice to have you back, Santana." Mr. Pierce greets as he takes his normal seat at the table.

Britt slides in next to me with a smile.

"It's nice to be back." I tell him.

Susan sets the lasagna in the center of the table and we all dig in.

* * *

"I should probably get home." I sigh as I place my empty dish on the kitchen counter. My stomach aching not only from eating second helpings but also from laughing at Mr. Pierce's- I mean Daniel's-jokes during the meal.

"You don't have to." Britt mentioned quietly. "You could spend the night? If you wanted, I mean." She offered.

"Just make sure it's okay with your mother first, Santana. I wouldn't want her to put her through any more worrying." Susan adds from the sink.

"Okay, I'll check." I slip off to make the call.

* * *

**In the Kitchen**

"How's it going, sweetheart? You're not as happy as I thought you would be to have Santana over." Mrs. Pierce commented as she watched her daughter silently pack the dishwasher.

"No, I'm happy about it. I just- I'm kind of sad about it too." Brittany mumbles.

"Why is that, Britty-Bee?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm so, so, so glad that Santana is okay after the accident. But her memory loss is of all recent things. _We _are a recent thing."

"But she remembers you I thought?" Mrs. Pierce questions.

"Yeah, but only as being her best friend. Everything that we've just figured out is…gone." A sheen of tears well in the younger blonde's eyes and her mother quickly wraps her in a hug.

"Oh honey…"

"And I don't want to confuse her, I don't know what to do Mom." Brittany shrugged.

"Well, baby girl. This is a pretty unique situation you're in. I can't tell you what to do because I don't know for certain. But I think you should give Santana a little more time and a little more credit. I've seen first-hand that when you two are together, you both light up. Give her a bit to get settled. You two have plenty of time to figure it out again. Okay?" Mrs. Pierce pulled back and smiled down at her daughter.

"Okay, Mom. Thanks." Britt hugged her again.

"Any time, Britty-Bee. It's what I'm here for."

* * *

I step out of the bathroom in a pair of Brittany's sweatpants and a tank top to sleep in. She laughs when I enter her bedroom.

"Those are my smallest pair of sweatpants and they are still too big on you." She giggles.

I look down at the way the pant legs cover my feet.

"It's not my fault you're so tall and I'm averagely sized." I pout.

"Is 5'5" average or short? I forget." Brittany teases.

"It's perfectly average Miss 5'8"."

"Whatever you say, Santana."

Brittany flipped off the light yet the room stayed somewhat illuminated. Looking up I noticed glow-in the dark stars dotting her ceiling.

"I know they're kind of babyish but I've had them since I was like seven and I've grown attached to them." Britt defended herself.

"I don't think they're for babies, Britt. I think they're adorable."

Even in the dim room I see a light blush spread on her cheeks. We slip beneath the covers and lay facing each other.

"Good night, Santana." Britt says quietly.

"Night, Britt-Britt." I return softly.

Lying next to Brittany I can't stop my mind from turning back to my dream from the hospital. I turn onto my back and count the glow-in the dark stars on the ceiling to distract myself. Before I can drift into sleep, my subconscious yanks me into another memory.

The meadow from the dream resurfaces, but this time it's different.

"_Brittany, it's freezing out here!" I groan, wrapping my arms tighter around myself to block off the chilly air._

_The girl on the blanket next to me turns and even in the dark I can see her smile._

"_It's not even that bad, San. But I came prepared." Pulling a second blanket out of the bag to the side, Brittany wraps it around her shoulders and holds out her arm to share it with me. With my stomach clenching weirdly I scoot closer and snuggle into her side as she wraps the blanket around me along with her arm. The cold night air is completely forgotten at that point._

"_Better?" She checks._

"_Perfect." I smile and can't help but lean my head onto her shoulder._

"_Good, because we might be out here for a while."_

"_What are we out here for again?" _

"_I told you, it's on my bucket list to see a shooting star!" Britt giggles._

"_And what makes you think you'll see one tonight?" I ask._

_I feel Britt's shoulder shrug beneath my cheek. "Something about tonight just feels right…" Her blue eyes peer down at me. I freeze beneath her gaze, sure that if it was lighter outside she would see the blush creeping along my cheeks. It's only when she looks back up at the sky that I gain my breath back._

"_And what are you going to wish for when you see one?" I wonder aloud. _

_Blue eyes found mine once again as she whispers "I don't need to wish for anything at all."_

My eyes snap open. Any drowsiness is now erased. That was definitely a memory. Not a dream, right?

_I wasn't asleep, was I? No. I'm sure I wasn't asleep yet._

I turn to glance at Brittany on the other side of the bed. Her eyes are closed, blonde locks fanned out on the pillow beneath her.

_She's even beautiful when she sleeps._

I turn back to the ceiling and let out a shaky breath.

Playing back the events of the day, the way the entire Pierce family treats me like one of their own it's clear that me and Britt are close. Just how close, though? Eventually, after mentally torturing myself, the sounds of Brittany's slow breathing lulls me to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you guys think? Too many flashbacks? Not enough? Let me know!**

**When I break out of 1****st**** person point of view is that confusing? (like I did with the Britt &amp; mom scene)**

**Should I not do that to you guys?**

**Not sure on when the next chapter will be up, it's safe to say the updates will not be coming quickly for a while because school is starting up again for me. Hope you all enjoyed! Review please!**

**2****nd**** Disclaimer: I hold no ownership over Frozen or any of its characters! Or any Disney movie for that matter.**


	10. Morning Revelations

**A/N: I suck so much for taking so long, not gonna bother with excuses, on with the story! **

**Thanks so much to everyone who gave reviews! I'm getting the subtle hints that no one really likes Matt…well I have good news and bad news about that. Good news: I know exactly how I'm going to get rid of him and when. Bad news: it's not for approximately three more chapters (and after that he will make maybe two more appearances, that's all I can tell you!)**

**Eric- Thanks! I hoped the med stuff wasn't out of reach of the truth **

**AuntySnixx26- Good! I want the suspense to build (but I'm not trying to torture anyone! Lol) Not to worry, things are about to pick up… ; )**

**Dragonborn89- Sorry about Matt! I would want to know as well if it was me but you gotta take Britt's POV with it, the backstory as to how they got together and who knows that they are together hasn't been revealed yet and once it is released I hope everyone can understand why Britt didn't tell her!**

**NewNickName- I love you too! Thanks so much for the review, it made me all warm and fuzzy inside and motivated me to work on the fic more!**

**NayaHeMoFan &amp; Guests- thanks to all of you as well for reading and reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Glee or any characters from it or any other show, blah,blah,blah. (do I have to keep saying this?)**

**NOW ON WITH THE FIC!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: **_**Morning Revelations **_

It was the slight movement of the body beneath me that pulled me out of the most peaceful sleep I've had since waking up from the hospital.

_Wait. Body beneath me?_

My mind broke through the fog of sleep to assess the situation.

My body lay half on top of Brittany's, my arm slung over her abdomen and my head on her chest. Her arm circled my back, holding me there. The steady rise and fall of her chest told me she was still asleep. I peeked to check.

Blonde hair seemed to reflect the early morning sunlight from where it surrounded Britt's head on the pillow. Her eyes remained closed, lips somewhat parted.

I refused to move for a moment. Perfectly content to stay and bask in the warm softness of her body next to me.

_Cuddling is normal for us._ I recall.

I had countless memories of being wrapped in Brittany's arms. My heart fluttered as I picture them. The same flutter it would perform when she smiled at me, or when I was close enough to see just how _blue_ her eyes are. The same flutter that was noticeably absent in Matt's presence.

Despite my comfort I gently extracted myself from her embrace and sat up.

A majority of the blankets had been pushed to the end of the bed, covering only our legs. A sliver caught my eye where Britt's tee had ridden up during the night, exposing the smooth skin just above the waist of her shorts. I swallowed. Suddenly very aware of how warm I was beneath the covers.

I yanked my eyes back to her face, smiling as her lips twitched in her sleep.

_What am I doing?_ I had to ask myself. _Staring at her while she's sleeping. That's not weird at all…_

I shook myself out of it. Sliding quietly out of bed, I slipped into the bathroom, deciding to rinse out the taste of morning breath and wash my face.

As I dried my face, I let my eyes connect with the mirror. I thought back to when I had awoken in the hospital.

My face was no longer a stranger to me, I recognized it easily. The brown eyes and full lips are now familiar. But the face in the mirror still held some secrets. Pieces were still missing.

_Who had these lips kissed?_

Well Matt for sure. But I still felt nothing for him. Maybe a fondness but it was slight.

So I adjusted the question.

_Who do these lips want to kiss?_

The answer to that question lay, tangled in sheets, in the room behind me.

_But why? Why would I be so attracted to her? Unless I'm-_ I nearly choked on the thought.

"I'm gay?"I whispered to myself.

Somewhere in my head a puzzle piece snapped into place with an audible click.

This would explain my feelings-or lack of- for Matt.

_Shit! Why am I dating him then?!_ My mind began to race.

_Am I just recently gay? Is there such a thing? Or am I just in the closet?_

The brown eyes in the mirror were now wide. I felt a dizzy sort of rush in my head. Like my brain was trying to figure everything out at once.

_I'm a closet lesbian with a thing for my best friend?_

"Shit." I muttered out loud. "Shit. Shit. Shit!" I gasped. Not sure whether to cry or laugh.

_Am I out to anyone at all? No one has said anything to me. Nobody must know._

I pressed my hands to my forehead, unsure of what to do next.

_This changes everything._

I jump as a knock on the door startles me out of my thoughts.

"San? You almost done in there? I really gotta pee!" Britt calls out.

"Y-yeah, I'm all set." I wince as my voice cracked.

Opening the door, my mouth dries as I'm met with a fresh out of bed Brittany. Her lips pulled up in a drowsy grin, blue eyes blinking away sleep.

_God, she's cute._

"Can I go in?" She asked with a small laugh.

"Oh." I jerked myself into motion. "Yeah, sorry." I pressed myself to one side of the doorway, allowing her to slip past. I tried not to focus on her shoulder brushing against me as she passed.

As the door clicked shut behind her I turned to look at it.

_Oh, I'm so gay…_ I shook my head.

This was a little much to be taking in this morning. I snatched up my clothes from where I had left them yesterday, quickly slipping them on.

No sooner had I finished changing Britt stepped back into her room.

"So, what do you feel like for breakfast?" She offers.

I pause for a moment. Because as much as I want to stay, I need to clear my head.

"Actually, I think I'm going to head home." I blurt out.

The way her smile dulls makes me want to kick myself.

"My family's planning on going to church mass with Abuela this morning." I cover for myself.

It wasn't a lie. Last night when I had asked my mom if I could sleep over she mentioned that if I woke up early enough I could make it to the service with them.

"Oh. Okay." Britt gave me a half smile that didn't quite meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you last night, I didn't think about it." I bit my lip, looking away.

"It's okay." Britt shrugged.

The tall blonde walked me to the door.

Before I stepped out the door I turned to Britt, hesitating awkwardly. Looking up from my shoes I found her watching me.

"Thanks for having me over." I told her quietly. She nodded in response.

I couldn't take it anymore. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. Her arms returned the embrace instantly.

I inhaled the faint smell of lavender. _Maybe her shampoo?_

When the hug ended it felt too short, even though I'm sure that at least half a minute had passed.

"I'll see you soon." I told her, then turned and headed out the door before I could let myself think twice. I might have changed my mind.

* * *

The drive home was a blur of road signs and second thoughts. I'm not exactly sure how I made it home. But soon enough I was pulling into the garage.

Walking through the garage door into the kitchen, I found my father pouring himself a coffee.

"You're home early." He commented, adjusting his tie. "Planning on joining us for mass, this morning?"

"Uh, yeah. How much time do I have to get ready?"

My dad checked his watch.

"About 45 minutes, then we have to swing by and pick up your Abeula on the way."

I nodded and headed up to my bedroom, trying to focus on picking out my church outfit in my head instead of thinking about my latest epiphany.

Entering my room I crossed to my closet, halting when I see it already open, my younger sister standing inside.

"You really do steal my clothes." I announced my presence.

Rose jumped and turned around.

"You're home already?" She questioned.

"Yeah, we're going to mass today." I pointed out.

"Since when do you come with us to mass?" Rose raises an eyebrow.

_She's right, since when?_ The only times during the year when I walked in a church was for Christmas and Easter services.

"I guess I felt like it." Was the best reply I could muster. Rose stared at me for a moment then looked down at the shirt in her hands.

"Oh. Well you weren't planning on wearing this one, were you?" She says.

I chuckled and shook my head. "Go for it."

"Sweet, thanks." Rose slipped out of my closet. "I didn't really expect you to come home so early. You were at Brittany's right?"

I nodded quietly and make myself busy by looking through my skirts for one to wear.

"You never come home early from Britt's…Did something happen?"

I froze for a second, halfway through pulling a skirt off a hangar.

"No." I forced out. "Just wanted to see Abuela again." I told her.

"Oh. Okay, then. I'll let you get ready."

I bit my lower lip as I listened to her footsteps towards the door. Rose and I seemed pretty close. If anyone knew about my feelings for Brittany it would be her, right?

"Rose, wait!" I blurted, spinning around.

"What's wrong?" Rose turned at my outburst.

"I- uh, I just…I feel like I'm missing something." I tried to convey my meaning.

It didn't work very well judging by the confusion on my sister's face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Me. I feel like I'm still missing something. Something about myself that maybe…you would know?" My question hung in the air for a disturbingly long amount of time.

"What kind of something?" Rose's expression had changed from one of confusion to one of surprising intensity.

I just shrugged. I didn't want to say anything if she didn't already know. I myself had only just remembered, that was enough to handle for now.

Rose paused for a minute, clearly thinking.

"I can't say that I know, Santana." She told me, staring directly into my eyes.

My shoulders deflated a little. "Okay, that's fine. I'm probably just imagining it." I lied.

_There's no way I could imagine my crush on Brittany._

"Sorry, sis. Wish I could help." Rose muttered, turning to leave without another word.

_Was that weird, or was it just me?_ I wondered as I changed into a black skirt and a nice white blouse for church.

I shook it off and fixed my hair and makeup for the day.

By the time I made my way back down to the kitchen my family was ready and waiting for me. Mom rushed us to the car, fearing that Abuela would be upset to be late to Sunday Mass. Despite her worry, we ended up arriving perfectly on time.

My Abuela was happily surprised to see me attending Mass with the rest of the family and made a point of telling me that she was proud of me.

I forced a smile and tried not to feel guilty. I'm not a very religious person. That much I know. But it seemed that my family was. Maybe that's why I haven't come out? Because I don't know how they would react? And here I was coming to church because I couldn't handle the fact that I rediscovered my sexuality just this morning.

Throughout the mass I couldn't focus on whatever message the priest was conveying to us. I was too wrapped up in myself.

Wrapped up in the way I woke up in her arms this morning, remembering the warmth of her body against mine.

A nudge from my Abuela pulled me back to the present.

"Where is your head, _nieta_? It is time to receive the Holy Communion." She pointed out the fact that our row was beginning to file out in a line before the priest.

My cheeks heated with a furious blush.

Here I was thinking about being in bed with my best friend- a _girl_ best friend- while in church.

* * *

I felt claustrophobic by the time we made it out of the church. I was grateful for the fresh air in the parking lot, it helped to clear my head.

I followed a few steps behind my family on the way to the car. Abuela insisted that we go out to brunch and I was too distracted to offer input into the conversation about where we should go to eat.

My mother looked over her shoulder and frowned when she caught sight of me. I offered her a reassuring smile but she still dropped back to walk beside me.

"You okay _mi querida_?" She asked quietly.

"_Si mama_, I'm just a little distracted today."

"Can I ask what's got you so out of it?" She wondered.

I shrugged, not sure what to tell her.

"It's nothing in particular I guess. I just feel out of it today." I ended up saying.

"Do you think it might be because school starts up again tomorrow? Because you don't have to go! You can stay home until you feel comfortable going." Her arm slipped around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

"No, I'm actually excited for school tomorrow. I think it'll be really good for me to get back to normal." I assured her.

"You're sure? Like the doctor said, there's no rush…"

"I'm sure mama, really."

"Okay, _preciosa_. Now come on, let's make sure your father didn't sway your sister and Abuela into going to Joey's Diner."

"Yeah, their coffee is terrible."

She smiles down at me.

"Because it's more like colored water than coffee." We both say.

She hugs me tight to her side and presses a kiss to my forehead.

"_Te amo, _baby girl_._"

"_Te amo, mama._"

* * *

Arriving back at home after brunch I excused myself to my room, mentioning something to my family about getting stuff around for school tomorrow. I changed into comfy sweats and a t-shirt and plopped onto my bed, lying back and staring at the ceiling.

I pictured stars on the ceiling and thought of blue eyes.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax into the memories I had so far recovered.

_I felt tingles go through my body as Brittany slipped onto the piano bench next to me._

"_Play me something?" She requested shyly, watching my fingers settle on the keys._

"_What do you want to hear?" I glanced at her._

_She shrugged, causing a lock of blonde hair to swing down into her face. Without thinking I pushed it back behind her ear. I blushed as soon as I registered that I had done that. I turned to look at the keys quickly._

"_Okay." I whispered, more to myself than to Brittany._

_I pressed down on the keys, letting myself relax into the music. I hummed along with the melody, too shy to sing it._

"_Is that Landslide?" Brittany asked when I pulled my hands back after finishing._

_I nodded, still staring at the keys. _

"_Will you play it again?" She asked with a small smile._

_I nodded with a smile of my own and placed my hands back onto the keys. Before I began to play though, Brittany's hand settled on top of one of mine._

"_Will you sing it this time?" She asked even quieter._

_With a shaky breath I nodded. I was nervous again but my smile didn't waver. _

"_I took my love and I took it down…"_

_Had I had that memory before?_ I wondered. _That wasn't the song that I had played yesterday._

I wondered if I could play _Landslide _now.

Deciding to find out for sure, I sat up and followed my urge to go down to the piano room and give it a try.

* * *

**2****nd**** disclaimer: I don't own Landslide, and for future record I don't own any other song that comes up in here.**

**A/N: So how much do you guys hate me…? I know all of you are no doubt disappointed with how this chapter went. I didn't like it too much either, I had an idea of where I wanted the chapter to go but it kinda took its own turns along the way and I wasn't sure how to control it (if that makes any sense at all, probably not).**

**But please trust me! I want Santana to remember things in a specific order, I think it plays out good in the end and I hope you'll all be able to see that.**

**I've mapped out the next couple chapters much better, hopefully they won't turn out as awful as this one.**

**Thanks so much for reading! Please drop me a review (those are seriously the best motivation!)!**

**Love, Reesepuff : )**


	11. Party People & Pom Poms

**A/N: Look at me updating so quick! *0* ****Okay, so I think I've got my shit figured out, we'll see *shrugs***

**Also, holy crap, over 150 followers for this?! That's so awesome! I didn't expect such a great following, thanks so much to everyone!**

**So, for those of you that hate all things Matt, this chapter will not be your fav but his end is near, no worries.**

**Guest- Thanks for the yays, I try my best to write competently ;)**

**Guest- I was having trouble bridging together the segments of this story that I have already written and planned but I'm feeling a lot more confident in filling the spaces lately. There will be no abandonment I promise!**

**ambirrd- Thanks! I didn't want to waste a lot of time on the whole "No I'm straight, I don't want to be gay" spiel, so I kinda skipped over it. As for what happens next, you'll just have to wait and see ;)**

**sidspa- I understand, no hard feelings lol**

** . .fullestx- I'm glad you're happy with the speed. I wasn't sure at first what would be too fast or too slow.**

**Brittana4Lyfe- Thanks so much for the complements! Don't worry about being late to the party there's plenty more fun to be had :)**

**rg521- Welcome and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far :) **

**Disclaimer (in DJ Kahled voice: another one): I don't own Glee**

* * *

**Chapter 10:Party People &amp; Pom Poms**

My mother tried three times this morning to change my mind about going to school today. Telling me several times that I could try again on Tuesday if I wanted. I managed to continue to get ready to leave while avoiding her attempts. When it came time to head out the door I nearly had to fight my way to my new car, a silver Mustang this time. Despite my mom's interference, I managed to make it to school without being late.

Before getting out of my car I checked my makeup and hair in the rear-view mirror, wanting to show up looking as hot as ever. When I did step out of my car it was with confidence.

Confidence that wavered slightly when I noticed the number of stares I was receiving as I entered the school.

Rose had left the house early for a student council meeting or something so I was on my own. I tried my best to make it to my locker without gaining any more attention.

Rounding the corner and looking towards my locker I found Brittany leaning against it. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty when I saw her. All day yesterday I had to make a conscious effort to keep myself from going crazy with thoughts about my "newly discovered" sexuality. I wasn't sure where I was at with everyone around me. _It felt like a big secret, so I should be keeping it that way right? _I had finally made the decision last night, as I lay in bed wide awake, that I would continue to keep up with my charade of a relationship with Matt for at least a while longer. Until I remember what happened at the party anyway.

Matt had made it pretty clear that we were intimate the night of the party. We didn't hook up but he made it sound like we were getting there. _So what was that about?_ _Had I been drunk or just having a lapse in judgement?_ I needed to find out more.

Brittany hadn't been at the party but maybe I had said something before would help me understand a little better.

Coming up on my locker now, Brittany spots me and smiles. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail and my eyes are immediately drawn to the way her long legs extended for miles beneath her short, red Cheerios skirt. I pull my gaze back to her face, the feeling of guilt settling heavier in my stomach now. I offer her the most confident smile I can muster.

"Hey you." She grins and steps back to allow me to open my locker.

"Morning, Britt."

"Excited to be back today?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it just feels weird right now. Kinda like I've been gone for weeks and am just now getting back."

"Well don't worry about classes. We have first hour together so I can totally help you in there, no worries. Quinn has Calculus with you after that, then we all have History before lunch. After that you'll be on your own though, sorry. But I'm sure all the teachers will take it easy on you as far as catch up work, because of the situation and all." She added quietly.

"First hour is French, right?" I double check.

"_Oui, c'est vrai._" Britt tells me.

"I'm going to nod and pretend I know what that means." I laugh and she does as well. "Was I supposed to wear my uniform today?" I ask, giving myself an excuse to check out her legs again before looking at my own jean-clad legs.

"We're supposed to wear them on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, something to do with invoking school spirit, but Sue told us that the doctor hasn't cleared you to cheer yet so I suppose it's okay for today that you don't." Brittany shrugged. "I'm sure Sue would have yanked you out of the hall by now if she was really mad about it."

"So far so good then. I'll be at practice today though. I'm not allowed to participate but I figured I should still come to watch, being a captain and all."

"Good! Alyssa has been totally eyeing your captaincy while you were gone. Quinn has been holding her off fine for now but she keeps trying to lead stretches."

I rolled my eyes. _Of course Alyssa would be all over my spot. The bitch couldn't stand the fact that she wasn't on top of the pyramid._

"I take it you remember Alyssa, then?" Britt suggested.

"How could you tell?"

"You always roll your eyes whenever you hear her name." She observed.

It then occurred to me that, being my best friend, Brittany could no doubt read my facial expressions quite well. I blushed at the thought of her noticing the way I had ogled at her legs just moments ago.

_Good thing my tan hides my blush. _I sent a quick thanks to my Hispanic ancestors.

"Hey baby!" A deeper voice cut in and suddenly a body was sliding between us.

I look up to find Matt, smiling down at me as if he didn't even notice Brittany talking to me.

His arms were around me in a hug before I could even reply.

I shot Britt an apologetic smile over Matt's shoulder.

Brittany stepped around Matt to stand to the side.

"Hi, Matt."

"It's good to have you back at school, babe. I've been missing you."

I offered the most convincing smile I could muster. Not only was I lying to Brittany, I was lying to Matt too.

"Good morning, Matt." Brittany introduced her presence dryly.

"Oh, hi Brittany." Matt replied in the same tone.

_Is it my imagination or do these two not get along? _I wondered as I watched the icy interaction between the two of them.

"Anyway, I was really excited to see you this morning because I have a surprise for you." Matt's eyes sparked.

"Oh, um, okay."

Matt reached into the pocket of his letterman jacket and pulled out with a closed fist. He reached for my wrist and I allowed him to take it.

"Close your eyes." He requested.

I did and soon felt a cool pressure on my skin.

Upon opening my eyes I found a silver bracelet encircling my wrist with a heart charm hanging off.

_How...traditional._ Was my first thought.

"Surprise! Remember this? The bracelet I gave you for your birthday? You brought it to me a while ago because the clasp had broken, so I got it fixed see." Matt pointed out.

"Wow, yeah. It's-it's really nice, Matt. Thank you."

The boy leaned forward slightly, as if to collect his reward. Awkwardly I kissed his cheek. He pulled back disappointed but I pretended not to notice.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Brittany standing there with obvious discomfort. Her jaw clenched tightly.

"San, we're going to be late to first hour." She mentioned. Her tone clipped short.

"I'll walk you." Matt hurried to offer, puffing his chest out to better portray the role of a chivalrous boyfriend.

I didn't miss the look Brittany gave him. Her eyes narrowed and practically shining with irritation.

"That's okay, I don't want you to be late for your class." I told him.

He visibly deflated but I turned to Brittany to avoid any further insistence from him.

"Ready to go, Britts?" I asked her. I reached for her with only my pinkie finger extended.

It just felt like a natural thing to do I guess.

She grinned and linked her pinkie with mine.

Distracted for a moment by the familiar warmth of her finger around mine, I allowed Brittany to lead me down the hall, towards class and away from Matt's disgruntled frown.

As I watched our hands swing together on the way to class I felt myself drawn into a haze.

_"Tonight." I spoke firmly to the blonde in front of me. Her eyes looked up from the floor at my tone. "I'm doing it tonight. No more waiting."_

_Brittany stepped closer. Her eyes were a cobalt mixture of hope and hesitation._

_"San, I didn't mean to push you. You don't have to-"_

_"Yes. I do, Britt." I reached out to hold her hands. "Pushing or not, you were right. I can't let this keep dragging on. It's not fair to anyone."_

_Brittany's lips pulled back in a shy smile. I couldn't blame her for any doubts she was having. I'd said this before and hadn't had the nerve to follow through. In a show of commitment I held up my pinkie. _

_"I promise." I told her softly. She lifted her own hand and wrapped her smallest finger around mine._

_"I'll see you later tonight then?" I could tell she was doing her best to keep the anticipation from her voice. _

_"You will." I vowed. "Pinkie promise."_

I jerked to a sudden halt just outside the classroom door when I came out of my haze. Brittany, who had been just a step ahead of my turned back to look at me curiously. Before she could say anything though, a white-haired woman with a pair of round glasses perched on her nose neared the doorway.

"Santana Lopez, how wonderful to see you back." She greeted me. From the tone of her voice I could tell she hadn't really meant that statement.

I brushed off the haze and stepped over the threshold. Upon entering the classroom, the woman, whose name I remembered to be Mrs. Baudin, didn't waste any time in welcoming me back to the class with a full-page list of vocab words from the previous week, letting me know that I could take the quiz I had missed before or after school any day this week.

"I thought you said the teachers would be understanding?" I whispered to Britt as we took our seat at the table that I recognized to be our usual spot in the back row, where Mrs. Baudin's older eyes couldn't make out our cell phones on the table.

"Did I say _all teachers_? I meant all except Mrs. Baudin, who still has it out for you. Don't stress over the quiz, I'll help you study for it." Brittany offered.

"Thanks, Britt."

"Mrs. Lopez! I understand you've just got back into the swing of things here but I expect you to listen when I'm talking." Mrs. Baudin's sharp voice announced.

"Sorry Mrs. B." I recovered.

The teacher sent me a warning glare but went back to lecturing about the conjugations of verbs.

Throughout class Mrs. B targeted me with questions that there was no way I could have answered. I was too preoccupied replaying my flashback over and over in my head. _When had that happened? What was our conversation about? _Fortunately, Brittany fielded them all for me. By the time the bell rang I could see that having Britt's help to study would be a godsend. The girl appeared to be a genius.

As soon as I made it out of class and into the hall an arm slung its way over my shoulders and pulled me to the side.

"How was class?" Matt asked casually. Like he hadn't just yanked me out of a crowd of students like I was on a leash.

"Uh- it was fine. How was yours?" I replied, busy looking over my shoulder to see what had happened to Brittany.

I found her following a few steps behind us. Her face pinched in displeasure.

"Boring as fuck." Matt shrugged and came to a stop near a locker bay.

"Oh, well- I have to get to Calculus, I'm already a week behind-" I try to excuse myself.

"What's the hurry? You always hang with me during passing time."

_That's a lie._ I know. _Because I usually hang with Brittany._ I remember.

"It's our make out time." He points out ever so gracefully.

"Okay…well I'm not really in the make out mood right now." I take a step away from him. His hand lands on my arm quickly.

"Hey, what's your problem lately?"

I stare at him for a moment.

_Is this guy for real right now?_

"You're still ignoring me all the time. I texted you like seven times last night and you never replied."

"Yes I did. I told you I was going to bed." I correct him.

He opens his mouth but I cut him off. "Look, Matt. I think we need some space. I'm still piecing things together right now. And you're not exactly helping. This is hard enough as it is without you breathing down my neck." I tell him.

His eyes widen and he reaches out to grab my other arm as well.

"No, San. Don't say that. I'm sorry! I'm being an ass, I know! I just can't help it, everyone around here thinks I'm losing you." He explains, glancing to the side to see if those passing by are paying us any attention.

_You never really had me._ I think about how much of a lie this relationship is. I can't help but feel sorry for lying and leading him on. _What reason did I have to construct this cover up? _I didn't feel ashamed of who I am. _Unless I didn't know I was gay when I started dating him? Is that even possible?_

"Please, don't break up with me. I love you." He adds, breaking me out of my thoughts with his plead.

"I didn't say break up. I just think we should leave each other to do our own things for a while." I relent.

"But-" He stops when I step away from him. "It's for the best." I say and rejoin Brittany.

I can hear Matt cussing under his breath as we walk away.

"What was that about?" Brittany asks, concerned.

I shake my head. "I can see why I thought he was clingy." Is all I tell her.

Brittany chewed at her lower lip. _She wants to tell me something._ I recognized. I'm about to ask her what's on her mind but in the same instant Quinn comes up on my other side and links her arm through mine so that the three of us are walking side-by-side-by-side down the middle of the hall.

"That's better. After the party last week me and Britt had to walk down the hall without you and the underclassmen didn't give us as much space as they do when you're with us." Quinn sighed, observing how the hall seemed to clear before us. "Of course, Puck settled that for us with a few dumpster visits."

"The party?" I found myself saying out loud. "You were there?"

Quinn nodded. "Santana, we're on the top of the Cheerios pyramid, of course we were both at the party. The whole squad was there." Quinn clarifies. "The parties that the football team puts on are the social events of the year."

"So Puck was there too?" Again I spoke out loud with meaning to.

"Is your memory coming back at all? What party has Puck ever missed?" She raised an eyebrow.

"If I recall correctly, he skipped out when we were invited to the Rachel Berry's bar mitzvah." Brittany pointed out.

"Correction: What party that involves alcohol has Puck ever missed?" She countered.

"But you didn't come Brittany?" _With Brittany also being on the Cheerios shouldn't she have been there too? _

The taller blonde opened and closed her mouth before Quinn's voice cut in. "You said you were sick. That's why you were going to stay home." Quinn stated. Brittany sucked in her lips and nodded. "Yeah, I was feeling really ill that night, threw up and everything." She added.

I tried not to let my confusion show on my face. _But I was supposed to go to Brittany's house after the party? Would she have wanted me to hang out with when she felt bad enough to puke?_ I studied her face for a minute. Something about the way she looked back at me told me she knew that I had caught her fib. _What is going on?_

"Don't worry about what happened at the party, you didn't do anything like last time." Quinn offered, noting my silence.

"Last time?" I prompted.

"It's better if you don't remember it, but if you really want to know, the last party we went to you took way too many shots and then started sobbing in the middle of the living room. But that was like a month ago, I don't think anyone remembers. Anyway, you didn't perform any drunken antics last week. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think you even had anything to drink that night." Quinn mentions, frowning as if she was struggling to fathom it. "But then again, I only saw you at the beginning of the night and after that I got loaded, so you can't really take my word for it." She shrugged. "Puck was my designated driver."

I made a mental note to talk to Puck whenever I got the chance.

* * *

It wasn't until I was on my way to my last class of the day when the chance presented itself. I caught sight of Puck in the hall just outside my English class.

"I'll never understand why you're at school today and not at home milking your concussion for all its worth. That's what I would be doing if I were you." He said in lieu of a greeting when I walked up to him.

"Do you remember seeing me at the party last week?" I opted to skip the small talk and go straight for it.

"Yeah? It hasn't come back yet?" He frowned.

"Not much of recent things have yet. I was hoping that if I tried working backwards from the night of the party it might help." I explained.

"Oh. Well yeah, I did see you come in at the party. I was with Quinn, you know, keeping an eye on her in case any guy tried to get to handsy. You know how Quinn gets flirty when she drinks, I didn't want her to do anything she would regret. You asked me where Matt was right away. I told you he was probably in the kitchen, supervising the liquor. You went off to find him and a couple minutes later I saw you two heading upstairs. The guy looked half way wasted, tripping up the steps." He chuckled. "Your boy started drinking pretty early that night."

I tried not to cringe at the words _your boy._

"I never saw you come back down though, so I don't know how long you were up there." Puck shrugged. "I had to get Quinn home before she started puking up her alcohol."

"Good to know. Thanks Puck." He nodded to me and wandered off.

So far, I hadn't learned anything new about what had happened at the party. I racked my brain, trying to recall what had happened after I had gone upstairs with Matt. Nothing came back. I sat down at my desk and half-listened to my teacher ramble on about our upcoming book report.

* * *

By the end of the day my backpack was weighed down with homework assignments.

_Hopefully Brittany can help me with the rest of this too._ I thought as I spun the combination for my locker.

I grabbed the books I would need for homework tonight and quickly ran it all out to my car before heading out to the field to observe cheer practice. The squad had already gathered at the bleachers and Quinn hustled over to me before I could join the rest of them.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you first before I give the announcement but I was thinking it would be a good idea to have a squad sleepover this weekend. I don't know if Brittany told you but Alyssa has been trying to squirm her way up the ranks and its been causing a little tension between some of the girls. Nothing that painting each others' nails won't fix." Quinn told me quietly. "I can host it Friday after the game. But if you don't think you'd be up for it we can think of something else."

"No, that sounds like a perfect idea, I'm in." I agreed.

"Okay, good. Come on then, you can still help me lead stretches right?" She leads me over to the girls and we begin the practice.

Two hours later I could tell some of the girls were having trouble remaining upright on their wobbling legs. _Maybe three miles had been too much?_ Quinn and Brittany had handled it just fine. Having four years of experience has conditioned the three of us to handle the extreme cardio routines that Sue created. I joined Britt and Quinn and head into the locker room with the squad. I waited around the lockers for Brittany to shower, hoping to ask her to help me get started on my load of assignments tonight.

The question flew right out of my head when I looked up to find her wrapped only in a towel, stepping out of the shower steam. My throat dried up and I was suddenly hyper aware of how warm the locker room was. I tried not to let my mouth hang open like a freak as I watched water droplets roll down her perfectly smooth shoulders. It wasn't until I noticed that Brittany was looking straight back at me that I could form a thought.

_Definitely gay. _

"Um, I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight and help me with that French?" I covered for my staring. I looked away as Brittany turned to change.

"Oh, sure. Do you want to go to my house or yours?" She offered with her back still to me.

"Whatever works for you, I guess."

Looking back at Brittany I froze up again. The only clothing she had put on so far was a pair of panties and a matching bra. _Oh my God._ My eyes traced over the exposed skin like they were trying to memorize the image, connecting the dots of the few dark freckles that were on her back.

"Santana?" Brittany suddenly turned around and I'm met with the front of her lace bra.

"What?" I croak, snapping my eyes up to her face.

"I said how about your place?" She raised an eyebrow.

"My place. Yes. That'll work. Uh- I think I left my Calc book in my locker. I'll meet you at my house." I stood quickly and nearly tripped making my way to the door.

I didn't even catch her reply as I power-walked my way out of the school. I had blatantly lied. I knew for a fact that I had grabbed everything I needed out of my locker. I took a breath and let the air cool my heated cheeks as I came out to the parking lot. I would need the head start I had on Brittany to cool down before she came over.

* * *

**A/N: Wanted to get this half out to you guys, the next chapter will be a continuation of this ;)**

**Hmmm, what do you think went on at the party? Do all the pieces add up?**

**The n****ext chapter is already in the works, so the next update should be nearly as quick as this one (fingers crossed). It helps that I have some more free time and inspiration to write lately.**

**Hope you enjoyed! Please review! I know there are 150 people out there reading this, yet less then 50 reviews? It doesn't have to be anything in depth, just say hi lol xD**


	12. French Doodles

**A/N: As promised, the other half of that update. Hopefully I didn't take too long for you guys, things got a little busy for me but I tried my best to keep up with writing this chapter. **

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, you guys are awesome! Special shout out to Mick3y92 for review every chapter, you now have a special place in my heart! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

* * *

**Chapter 11: _French Doodles_**

I found Rose hanging out on the couch watching some sort of trashy reality show when I got home. Dumping my bag onto the floor I sank onto the couch next to her. Relaxing into the cushions.

Halfway home I was able to get ahold of myself after the locker room incident.

"Rough day?" She asked, eyeing me slouched against the arm of the sofa.

"Just…exhausting I guess." I tell her. She nods and looks back to the TV.

"Mom and Dad are both working late so we're on our own for dinner they said. They left some money on the kitchen table if we want to order out." She informed me.

"Okay. Brittany is coming over soon to help me with some homework. So maybe we could get a couple pizzas?"

"Brittany's coming over?" Rose asked, turning to me once more.

"Yeah…" I clarified, curious at her seemingly excited reaction. "She's gonna help me with some French stuff."

Rose raised an eyebrow and I got the feeling she knew something I didn't.

"Oh. That makes sense. You've told me before how good Brittany is with _French stuff_." She commented before picking up her phone and scrolling through it.

"Have we studied for French often then?"

"Oh you could _definitely _say that. Usually in the soundproof piano room. Very considerate of you both really. That way no one has to hear you _practicing your pronunciations_ and such." Rose shrugged and stood from the couch.

_Do we talk that loud? _I frowned, keeping my eye on Rose as she headed to the kitchen.

A few moments later a knock sounded from the front door.

"Come on in!" Rose hollered.

The door opened and a familiar blonde slipped into the house, kicking off her shoes onto the rug next to the coat closet.

"Brittany, you know you don't have to knock." Rose pointed out.

"I wasn't sure." Brittany shrugged "With the current situation."

I appreciated the fact that Brittany didn't expect things to go on quite as usual lately. She was being a lot more considerate than certain _others_.

"You didn't have to, Britt." I offered, catching her gaze. She nodded with a smile.

She hefted up the bag on her shoulder and took a few more steps into the kitchen.

"Is pizza okay with you for dinner? My parents left some cash for take out." I mentioned.

"I love pizza even when I'm not absolutely starving!" Brittany laughed.

"I'll order it now then." I said, picking up my cell and dialing.

After I placed the order I turned to Britt.

"We can take our stuff down to the piano room I guess. Rose says that's where we usually go." I say, grabbed my bag and slinging it once more over my shoulder.

Brittany glanced over at Rose, who was now very interested in the amount of ice in her glass of water.

"Okay, cool." Brittany replied, continuing to look at Rose.

I frowned at the exchange they had when Rose finally glanced up. It took place without a word. Brittany simply raised her eyebrow at my sister who then shrugged slightly before turning away.

Brittany hoisted her own bag up and moved to my side, ready to follow my lead downstairs. I could tell she wasn't satisfied with whatever she had been conveying to Rose. It was too obvious that whatever had been going on was about me. And neither of them wanted me to know.

Making our way into the piano room we flopped onto the couch and Brittany nearly immediately opened up her French textbook.

"Okay, so these new verbs still follow the same conjugations as we've been using." Britt mentioned casually before launching into an explanation of how to put them in present and past tenses. She slowed to a stop when she registered my blank expression.

"Don't space out on me Sanny. I will get you through this, I promise." She laughed. "Here, how about you look at the book and I'll explain." She scooted across the sofa so that our thighs were pressed together and the textbook could lay across them.

She reiterated her previous explanation, pointing out the conjugations in the book for me.

We worked through the details of writing them and began to work on the speech portion. I tried my best to pick out words I knew out of her spot on pronunciations but I missed most of the sentences.

When it was my turn to say them I butchered them. Brittany did her best not to laugh at me.

"It's the same problem you've always had." She told me. "You keep trying to say things like you're speaking Spanish, so it doesn't sound correct."

"How the hell am I supposed to fix that? _Yo hablo español!_ _Yo no hablar francés!_" I groan.

"You have to teach your tongue how to move differently. That's all it is." She shrugged. I caught the light blush that covered her cheeks before she bent over to switch out her textbooks.

"O-oh." My voice cracked only slightly.

"How about we switch to History?" She offered.

_Speaking of History…_

"Actually I was wondering if I could ask you something."

"About French?" Britt raised an eyebrow.

"No-uh. About the party…"

I could tell that her eyes were searching mine.

"Okay." I watched as her hands clasped tightly together in front of herself.

"You said today that you didn't go because you were sick…But I was supposed to go to your house?" I mentioned.

"Well…it's possible that I wasn't actually sick…But the squad can't know that or they'll get pissed. I just really didn't want to go so I had to tell Quinn that to get out of going. You had to go, being a Captain, but you were going to come spend the night at my house after you got done talking with- uh, everyone, you know socializing with the popular kids and whatever." She seemed to rush the words out of her mouth. And I couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't telling me the whole truth. _But what reason would she have for not telling me?_

Just then my phone beeped, announcing an incoming text.

_Pizza is here, come get some before I eat it all- Rose._

I pass the message on to Britt and she quickly offers to go up and grab some slices for the two of us. She's up and off the couch before I can argue.

As I wait for her to return I flip through my French notebook. Apparently I don't take many notes in the class. _No wonder Britt is tutoring me._ Although I don't quite understand how she's so much better at French than I am. I spot various pages of notes that we must have passed between ourselves during class. Some are scribbled in broken French that I couldn't understand. Several doodles are drawn onto the page as well, including a bird that stood out from the rest based on its size and the effort that had been put into the drawing. Some French was scribbled underneath it in my own handwriting, which was smaller and slightly neater than Brittany's.

I roughly translated the French to English. "_Like never before"_

I frowned. _That doesn't make much sense._

Shrugging to myself I switched out my notebooks to prepare to start on History when Brittany got back.

By the time we surrendered and pushed our books to the floor my eyes were exhausted. I couldn't imagine how tired Brittany was, being that she actually had to partake in practice today.

Glancing at the blonde beside me I couldn't stop the smile I felt coming on. She slouched against the arm of the couch, clearly ready to fall asleep.

"There's nothing wrong with taking a nap break." I mumbled and sink back into the couch myself.

Brittany stretches out with a groan and sneaks her legs onto my lap. It's possible that she's half asleep already.

I lean my head back and lose the war with my drooping eyelids.

* * *

"_Morning, San." The quiet tone of Brittany's voice told me she was being careful to announce her presence._

_I froze from where I was grabbing my jacket and looked up. Brittany stood in the doorway of her room, dressing simply in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Her hair somewhat resembling a bed-head. _

"_Morning." I forced out, trying to keep my voice level._

"_Leaving already?" She eyed the coat dangling from my hand._

"_Uh-yeah. I have some stuff to do today, studying, and- homework." I stuttered out._

_Brittany leaned against the frame as I slid my arms into the sleeves of my jacket and pulled it over my shoulders. I avoided her gaze, my stomach tense with nervous fear._

"_We should talk before you go." Her voice was almost a whisper._

"_About what?" I shrugged, playing it off._

"_You know what, Santana…" Britt stepped forward._

_I automatically crossed my arms as if to protect myself. Or hold myself together. I shrugged again._

"_Look, I had a couple beers at the party last night. I don't really-"_

"_You had two beers, Santana. And I know it takes a lot more than that to get you anywhere near drunk." She cut off my excuse. "And I didn't drink anything at all because I was driving." She finished quieter._

_I couldn't find the words to respond. I was choking on the panic lumped in my throat._

"_I just-…I want to make sure that we clear the air, you know? It doesn't have to be a big deal, or even mean anything…" She looked down, now avoiding my gaze. Her voice was shaky. I pushed down the uncertainty in my chest and stepped forward, trying to see her eyes. They were holding back tears._

"_Did it mean anything to you?" I choose my words carefully._

"_W-what?" Brittany looked up, surprised at my question. I scolded myself. Of course it didn't, did it?_

"_Did what happened last night, mean anything to you?" My heart was pounding in my rib cage. I was sure I could hear its rapid beats in the silence that hung between us._

_Brittany let out a breath, her shoulders deflating as her eyes found mine._

"_It meant more than you know, San." She finally said. _

_I was rooted to the spot now. Studying the way her body seemed to finally relax, as if releasing a burden. Brittany had given herself up. Now it was my turn._

* * *

"San, I have to get up." A voice cut into my dream.

"Wah?" I groan out, still fighting through the fog of my dream.

"What was that San?" Brittany asked, looking down at me. Focusing my eyes, I find that I had somehow slid down the couch and half on top of Brittany.

"Oh, sorry." I yank myself up.

"It's fine. My mom just texted me that she wants me to get home. I didn't mean to fall asleep for that long." She shrugged.

"Oh. Well thanks for helping me tonight, Britts."

"Of course, San. What are best friends for?"

We headed upstairs and I walked her to the door. As her arms wrapped me in a tight hug I could've sworn her lips brushed my cheek for an instant. _That's not very uncommon for close friends is it?_ I was still trying to figure that out when she pulled open the door and stepped out onto the porch.

"I'll see you tomorrow Santana." She smiled and gave me a wave as she moved to her car. I waved back and closed the door only when her car pulled out of the driveway and disappeared form view around the corner.

* * *

The next few days at school went by much smoother. With Brittany's help I managed to complete all my missed work and catch up in my classes. Our after practice study sessions quickly became my favorite part of the day. Something about just relaxing with her puts me at ease, which is exactly what I need when I get too caught up in the stress of the fact that my memories are only partially complete. Brittany is familiar to me. And I can't help but gravitate towards her when I start to get confused.

Speaking of confusion, the night of the party is still a blur. With the accounts of Quinn, Puck, and Brittany I had managed to piece together the beginning and the end of the night. But the middle remained fuzzy. When I thought about it I could recall the smell of alcohol and sweat, the buzz of music, and flashes of red solo cups. All staple features at any party I'm sure. Nothing stood out.

So by lunch on Thursday I wasn't any closer than I had been after Monday. Still, I was content to sit next to Brittany at the table while we listened to Puck and Quinn bicker like an old married couple.

"We are so going to crush the Vikings tomorrow!" Puck asserted as Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Yeah right. The Vikings had an undefeated season, during which you lost to them. Remember that? What makes you think you're going to beat them in District Playoffs?" She scoffed.

"We only lost by one touchdown! We can take them as long as our defensive line pulls their heads out of their asses." Puck defended.

"The defense can only do so much. It would help if _some _of our receivers could actually catch a fucking ball once in a while." Quinn pointed out.

Puck opened and closed his mouth, obviously flustered.

"You mean me?! What do you know about football, _cheerleader_." He sputtered.

"That's right. I'm a cheerleader. That means I'm at every game. I think I've picked up a couple things about football after four years." She rolls her eyes.

"Whatever." Puck suddenly stand with his tray and heads off.

Quinn watches him leave with narrowed eyes. Shes hiding it but I can tell she regrets what she said.

"That was mean, Quinn. Puck has feelings too." Britt says. "You should go apologize."

Quinn forces a frown and a shrug. "He's too sensitive about football. He'll get over it."

"Oh come on, Q. He's just nervous for the big game. As his friends we're supposed to be on his side."

I watch as Quinn twirls her fork around before getting up to follow Puck and I have to hold back a smile. Quinn had probably wanted to apologize before Brittany had even said anything. Of course, the shorter blonde has too much pride to admit it, but she did. Brittany telling her was the exact excuse she would need to follow through. When I glance over at Brittany she's holding back the same smile I am. _And she knew it too._

"I don't know why those two don't just make out already." I comment once Quinn is out of ear shot.

"Probably because they are worried about ruining their friendship, and also about what other people might think. Not to mention the fact that one of them might not be sure that the other even has feelings for them." Brittany responds quietly before she looks down at her salad and focuses on stabbing a cherry tomato as it rolls around.

"Okay. Yeah, I guess there's all that." My eyebrows knot together. "But they should know that their friendship would be able to survive something like that. They've known each other for how long now? Screw what people think, it's none of their business. And it's so obvious they like each other they would have to be blind not to see it." I find myself answering.

"I think you'd be surprised how clueless a person could be." Brittany's voice is filled with dry humor. "But that's okay. Because the things that take the longest time to find...They're usually the most worth it." She finishes softly.

I catch her eyes, surprised at the amount of emotion I find in them. A moment later the blue pools surrounding her pupils seemed to harden in to ice and she looks past me to the other side of the lunch room. I turn, curious at who she's glaring at. I hold back a groan as I identify Matt making his way over to our table.

After I had asked for some space he had complied just fine for the rest of Monday. On Tuesday he had texted me, wondering how I was doing, later at school I caught him watching me in the hallway, and by Wednesday it seemed like he was trying to follow me everywhere. _Clearly we don't share the same definition of 'space'._

"Hey, Santana. Can we talk for a bit?" He asked as he stopped beside me at the table.

"I thought you agreed to give me some space?" I asked, fixing him with a pointed stare.

"Yeah, I know. But tomorrow is the first game of Playoffs and I know you're still pissed at me but I was hoping you would wear my jersey for good luck." Matt offered.

"She can't."

Matt and I both turned to look at Brittany who had spoken up with a voice as hard as granite.

"Coach Sue says all cheerleaders must be in uniform on game days. No exceptions for relationships with any member of the football team." She carried on.

"But Santana's not even allowed to cheer during the game." Matt huffed.

"Doesn't matter. She's still on the sideline with us, representing the squad. Which means she has to appear in full Cheerio uniform." She deadpans.

Matt opens his mouth, looking to argue but Brittany beats him to it.

"It's Coach Sue's rule. If you don't like it, you'll have to talk to her about it." Brittany finishes evenly. Locking eyes with a furious looking Matt.

His jaw clenches and he turns to me for help.

"She's right. That really is one of our rules." is all I can tell him.

Matt's face remains sour for a moment before he smirks.

"Well at least you're still wearing my bracelet." He points out. "That can be my good luck charm on you."

Looking down I notice that I am in fact still wearing the bracelet he gave me. I hadn't really thought about it since he had put it on me. The weight of it was just familiar I suppose, so I hadn't thought to take it off.

"Jewelry isn't apart of official Cheerio uniform." Brittany muttered but Matt just shrugged off her comment.

"That's okay. At least you can wear it around school for everyone to see." His smirk becoming more prominent now. "I'll see you at the game tomorrow babe." He winked and swaggered off.

I could only shake my head. _That guy is something else._ I turned back to Brittany, finding her eyes on my bracelet, her face expressionless.

"I have a test next hour that I need to study for." Brittany suddenly announced and stood up.

"Oh, do you want me to help you study?" I offer, in the midst of sliding my chair back to join her.

"No." Her answer stops me from getting up. "It's for Differential Equations. So I don't think you'd be really able to help me. No offense, San." She tells me before grabbing her bag and taking off.

I'm not offended.

I know that Brittany is a super genius in math. I'm only taking Calculus I and she's already in Differential Equations because she tested into it. So I doubt that I would have been able to help her study at all.

But I am a little hurt.

I've never actually seen Brittany ever study for a math test. As far as I know, she doesn't need to. I find it hard to believe that she suddenly feels the urge to do so now. _So really she just wants to get away from me. Ouch._

I sink down lower in my chair, wondering what I had done to push her away.

* * *

By the end of the day Brittany still isn't talking to me. Well technically she is, but not really. She answers the texts I've sent her but her responses are short and lacking her usually cheerfulness. At practice tonight, she was constantly working with the other girls, more than I've ever seen her do before. I did my best to act like it didn't bother me, including trying to convince myself that it didn't.

I was actually grateful to get home and work on my homework as a distraction. My book report for English is due next week and I haven't even read a book to write it about. I check out the list of approved books for the report and am pleased to find that I own a few of them. I decide on _Pride &amp; Prejudice_ because I know for a fact it's on my shelf in my room and I know I've read it before. I must have, even if I can't remember the details.

I pull the book off my bedside table shelf and settle onto my bed, opening the cover. I'm a few pages in when I notice a gap in the middle of the book, like something has been stuck between the pages. I open up to the gap and a small key slides down the page towards me.

I stare at it blankly before recalling the box I had found beneath my bed.

Excited and curious I toss the book aside and bend over the edge of my bed to grab the box. Setting it on my covers in front of me I fit the key into the lock and turn it. It clicks softly and I ease the lid open to peer inside. Immediately, my eyes widen.

* * *

**A/N: GASP! What's in the box?! What if it's drugs? lol jk**

**Psst! Get ready for flashback mania in the next chapter ;)**

**Again, I apologize for how long it took ****me and for having more Matt (but I think we all know what happens next ;)**

**Let me know what you think with a review please! Seriously, reviews make me excited to keep writing!**

**Shout out to Brittana4lyfe for reminding me to pull my shit together again!**


	13. These Memories of Us

**A/N: And now, without further ado, the chapter you've all been waiting for!**

**Just to make sure that you all understand, this entire chapter (except for the very end) will be in flashback form (which I think is pretty obvious but I like to tell y'all just to make it easier for all :)**

**Warning: Depicts underage drinking, language, and lady kisses ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: **_**These Memories of Us**_

_ The music pounded so loudly in the house I could feel the buzz of the floorboards beneath my feet. All around me partygoers either grouped together or relocated out to the middle of the living room-turned dancefloor- to move along with the beat. _

_Tipping my cup back I swallowed the last of its contents, trying not to make a face at the taste. Beer was definitely not my favorite party drink. As I brought the cup back down a warm hand encircled my wrist gently._

"_You're not getting drunk are you?" A familiar voice asked. The mouth the voice had come from was nearly pressed against my ear and made me shiver. I knew who it was without turning. I would know her voice anywhere._

"_No. That's only been my first one." I tell her without turning around._

"_Good. Because I can't dance with you properly if you're too tipsy." This time I could not only feel her lips next to my ear, but also the front of her body as she pressed against my back. Her arms encircled my waist and she pulled me back gently towards the mass of bodies in the living room._

_The noise level spiked as we entered the crowd. Drunk teenagers hollered and screamed along with lyrics and at their friends from across the room. Bodies bumped and grinded against each other without concern and the air felt thick and hot on my skin._

_I now spun to face my dance partner and found blue eyes sparkling at me even in the dim atmosphere. Some idiot had broken a nearby lamp earlier, shadowing the dancefloor. Brittany's cheeks were flushed, not from alcohol, but from the heated atmosphere, sweat beaded only slightly at her hairline. She hadn't stepped a foot off the dancefloor since showing up I would bet._

"_Dance with me." She laughed and pulled my hands up into the air with hers._

_I grinned easily and began to mimic the way her hips swayed with the beat. The way Brittany danced was nothing less than magic. Her body moved as smooth and as graceful as water as she lost herself in the music. All I could do was stare and try to keep up. And I loved it._

_After a few songs the tempo changed to something slower and sexier. My breath caught slightly as Brittany pressed up against my back again. This time she stayed there, swaying her hips from side to side, brushing repeatedly against me._

_This was fine right? Dancing with your best friend at a party like this. My hips responded in like and her hands slid down my arms, to my sides and rested at my hipbones so that our bodies pressed more firmly together. _

_I looked around briefly to see if anyone around us considered this to be out of the ordinary. Some guys stood there leering at us but everyone else was oblivious. _

_The motion of Brittany's hips against mine made it difficult for me to care anyways. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on her shoulder, letting her control the rhythm of our movements._

_Our dance together was interrupted moments later when a body pressed against my front._

"_Damn, you look so fuckin' hot babe." Matt voiced as he pulled my body away from Brittany's and towards himself, leading me away._

_Looking over my shoulder to where Britt stands in the middle of the dancefloor I followed Matt._

_It's sometime later, after I dance with Matt and talk with various partygoers that I find Brittany in the kitchen sipping a water bottle._

"_Hey you." I bump my hip against hers and grab a water bottle for myself. _

"_Hey yourself. You ready to get out of here?" She asked._

"_Yeah sure, just let me say goodbye to Matt first." I told her and turned to head back out to the living room only to find Matt standing in the doorway of the kitchen._

"_You're leaving already? The party has hardly even started!" He pouted._

"_Sorry, Matt I'm on curfew tonight. My mom will be hella pissed if I get home late again." I explain, giving him a hug._

"_Well you could always tell her you're going to spend the night at my house." He chuckled, his hands dipping down to squeeze my butt. I grab his hands and pull them back up._

"_We both know that's not happening." I tell him with a teasing smile._

"_Hey, can't blame a guy for trying right?" He shrugged._

_I laughed and shoved him playfully._

"_San, it's almost 11:30." Britt reminded me._

"_Okay, let's head out then." I passed her my keys, knowing that she was more qualified than me to drive._

_Once outside the chill night air turned my sweat to ice on my skin. I huddled closer to Brittany for warmth and was pleased when her arm wrapped around me. _

"_I think I'm starting to get a headache already." I groan. "Can I crash at your place tonight? If my mom catches me when I smell like alcohol she'll ground me until it's actually legal for me to drink."_

"_Sure thing, San. My parents are out for some business thing my dad had this weekend anyway. I could use the company."_

"_Cool, we can make it a whole weekend then." I smile and pull out my phone to text my mom where I'll be for the night._

_After Brittany pulls into her garage we slip out of the car, kicking off our heels and heading down the hall to her room._

"_Ugh! My feet are killing me!" I groan and collapse onto her bed. _

"_Don't' be such a baby!" She teased and tossed me a pair of shorts and a tank top._

"_How are you're feet not in pain? Did you even stop dancing at any point during the night?" I ask, standing from the bed and changing out of my miniskirt and top into the pajamas Britt gave me._

_Brittany just laughed and shook her head._

"_Will you come unzip me?" She asked, glancing at me over her shoulder._

_Stepping up behind the taller girl I carefully move her long blonde hair out of the way of the zipper and begin to pull it down. After an inch or so the zipper stops, caught on the material of the dress. I'm forced to pull out the fabric and from there on I pull the zipper along its track slowly to avoid it sticking again. As the fair skin of Brittany's back is exposed to me I find my cheeks heating. From the lack of bra strap crossing her back it becomes apparent to me that she isn't wearing one._

"_All done." I say quietly when I finish the task and step back. "I'm gonna go wash up a little." I excuse myself to the bathroom._

_After washing my face and using the toothbrush that Britt always keeps for me, I head back into the bedroom to find that Brittany had already slipped into bed._

"_Tired from all that dancing?" I tease and slip under the covers next to her._

"_A little bit." She admits and rolls over to face me._

_I shiver when the cool sheets settle over me. Noticing my shiver, Britt scoots over and snuggles close. When her bare legs brush against mine beneath the covers I relish the warmth that her skin offers._

_We lay in silence for a little bit, looking up at the stars glued to the ceiling above us._

"_I really liked dancing with you tonight." Brittany says quietly after a moment._

"_Y-yeah. I thought it was really fun." I replied._

_Her blue eyes flit as she studied my face while chewing her lower lip._

"_What?" I prompt her._

"_Can I ask you something?" She brings her arm up to prop up her head._

"_Of course." I turn so that I mirror her comfortable position._

"_Why didn't you want to spend the night at Matt's?" Her voice was nearly a whisper._

"_Well, there's the fact that my mom would kill me if she found out." I joked._

"_Yeah, but- I mean, you could tell her you stayed the night at mine but really were with Matt." She pointed out with a shrug._

"_Do you want me to spend the night with him?" I ask with a frown._

"_No! I guess I just-"She shrugged again. "I was wondering what you were thinking about it. You've been dating him for almost four months now."_

_Now it was my turn to shrug. "I'm not ready for the next step yet. He knows that." I tell her._

"_Not ready for it in general? Or not ready for it with him?" Her eyes caught and held mine._

_I paused to consider her question._

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_I don't know. Forget it." She moved to roll over but I caught her wrist to stop her._

"_No tell me." I requested. _

_Brittany rolled onto her back again to look at the ceiling, her hands settling on her stomach in front of her but not lying still, instead her fingers twisted around each other._

"_How much do you really like Matt?"_

"_He's my boyfriend." I tell her._

"_Yeah, I know that. But that doesn't answer my question." She points out. "Are you in love with him?"_

"_I don't know, Britt. He's a nice guy and he's cute-"_

"_Are you trying to convince yourself that you should be in love with him?" She interjects._

_I just look back at her because I feel like she's caught me in the act. No, I'm not in love with him. I know that. But it's only been three months, I shouldn't be in love with him yet should I?_

"_I just want what's best for you, San. You don't know how much I care about you." Brittany tells me in a whisper. "You deserve the best."_

"_You don't think he's good enough for me?" I ask._

_She shakes her head with a sad half-smile and turns back to lay on her side with her head propped up._

"_The way he talks about you sometimes just makes me think he only dates you because he wants to get in bed with you. You deserve someone who wants more than that, Santana. Someone who wants to know everything about you, just so they feel closer. Someone who wants to hold you just to feel your skin against theirs. I don't think Matt is that someone." She finishes even quieter, her eyes trained down on her fingers as they drag along the bedsheet, drawing a pattern I can't see._

_I'm not sure what it was that made me lean into her exactly. I can't recall._

_Maybe it was the softness of her voice, the tenderness she put into each word. Or maybe I was drawn in by her darkening eyes and the way her teeth sank into her lower lip as she finished talking._

_Whatever it was, I found myself mere inches from her face, feeling her breath ghost over my skin. I held myself there for a moment. My eyes gazing at her lips which had parted slightly. I had thought about kissing Brittany before, I admit it, but I hadn't thought of acting on it ever. I had chalked up those thoughts to be natural curiosity. _

_But here I was. Glancing up I found her eyes focused below mine and I swallowed._

_Was she thinking about kissing me too? A part of me wondered. Another part was blaming this entire situation on the beers I had at the party. I needed to shake myself out of this._

_I moved to pull back, abandon the near attempt. _

_That's when her lips pressed to mine._

_It was very brief. More of a peck than a kiss but it still didn't fail to leave me stunned. She pulled back some centimeters and nervous blue eyes met mine. For a moment we stared at each other, the only sound in the room was our breathing. Then I pressed forward, connecting my mouth to hers once more. This kiss was more firm than the first. More purposeful. Our lips parted and my top lip became trapped between hers as I trapped her bottom one. Once, twice, three times we moved together in sync. We gained confidence, our bodies drawing closer to each other until we were pressed together. The light groan that Brittany released hardly registered with me. I was too busy studying the feel of her lips on mine and wondering if her body had always felt this good pressed against me._

_We pulled away when we found ourselves out of breath. Our foreheads stayed pressed together. _

_I delayed opening my eyes. Unsure how to face the event that just occurred. _

_When I did open my eyes I found Brittany gazing directly back at me. Her lower lip pulled in between her teeth, eyes tense with nerves._

_I didn't have any words for a moment. I just looked back at her. My body still felt as though it was buzzing, and not from the alcohol. I shifted closer, taking up my favorite spot that I had found when me and Brittany had watched movies together, my head on her chest, arm wrapped over her waist. Her hand smoothed down my back and rested above my hips. In the familiar warmth of her arms words came to me at last._

"_You're my best friend Brittany." I whispered carefully against her shirt._

"_I know. And you're mine, Santana." She replied as softly._

_I let my eyes drift shut to the feeling of her fingers combing through my hair._

_The next morning I woke when the inside of my eyelids turned red from the incoming sunlight. Blinking away sleep I rolled over to find the sheets around me chilly. I was alone. I lay there for a moment before recalling what had happened last night. I sat up as the kiss played over again in my head._

_Oh my God. It really happened, didn't it? That wasn't some alcohol-fueled dream? No. That was real. _

_I rested my face in my hands, pressing my palms to my closed eyes._

_But I have a boyfriend… I like guys, don't I? But that kiss, that had contained more sparks than anything I had felt before. But Brittany? She's my best friend! How did this happen? How did I let it?_

_The fear set in, eventually driving me to slip out of bed and pick up my clothes from last night. I changed quickly. Maybe I could make it out without Brittany noticing._

_It seemed cruel but I wasn't prepared to face her this morning. Not after last night. Not while I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about myself… about our friendship._

"_Morning, San." The quiet tone of Brittany's voice told me she was being careful to announce her presence._

_I had been caught._

_I froze from where I was grabbing my jacket and looked up. Brittany stood in the doorway of her room, dressed simply in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Her hair somewhat resembling a bed-head. _

"_Morning." I forced out, trying to keep my voice level._

"_Leaving already?" She eyed the coat dangling from my hand._

"_Uh-yeah. I have some stuff to do today, studying, and- homework." I stuttered out._

_Brittany leaned against the frame as I slid my arms into the sleeves of my jacket and pulled it over my shoulders. I avoided her gaze, my stomach tense with nervous fear._

"_We should talk before you go." Her voice was almost a whisper._

"_About what?" I shrugged, playing it off._

"_You know what, Santana…" Britt stepped forward._

_I automatically crossed my arms as if to protect myself. Or hold myself together. I shrugged again._

"_Look, I had a couple beers at the party last night. I don't really-"_

"_You had two beers, Santana. And I know it takes a lot more than that to get you anywhere near drunk." She cut off my excuse. "And I didn't drink anything at all because I was driving." She finished quieter._

_I couldn't find the words to respond. I was choking on the panic lumped in my throat._

"_I just-…I want to make sure that we clear the air, you know? It doesn't have to be a big deal, or even mean anything…" She looked down, now avoiding my gaze. Her voice was shaky. I pushed down the uncertainty in my chest and stepped forward, trying to see her eyes. They were holding back tears._

"_Did it mean anything to you?" I choose my words carefully._

"_W-what?" Brittany looked up, surprised at my question. I scolded myself. Of course it didn't, did it?_

"_Did what happened last night, mean anything to you?" My heart was pounding in my rib cage. I was sure I could hear its rapid beats in the silence that hung between us._

_Brittany let out a breath, her shoulders deflating as her eyes found mine._

"_It meant more than you know, San." She finally said. _

_I was rooted to the spot now. Studying the way her body seemed to finally relax, as if releasing a burden. Brittany had given herself up. Now it was my turn._

"_I don't- I don't know what to do here." I admitted._

_Brittany's shoulders drooped enough to signal to me that she was upset by my answer._

"_Everything you said last night…"_

"_I meant it. All of it, every word." She held herself up to meet my eyes. "And you kissed me back." She reminded me quietly. Not pushing or accusing. Just cautiously asking._

_But I didn't have an answer for her. _

"_I know I kissed you." I squeezed my eyes shut before blinking them open again. "Right now I'm just- I'm confused."_

"_I can understand that." Brittany stepped forward and I could see the hope washing over her face. "I was too."_

"_You were?" I asked and she nodded._

"_I realized in 8__th__ grade that I was attracted to girls. Guys never seemed to have the same effect that- well, that you had on me."_

"_Me?" I echoed. "Since 8__th__ grade?" Brittany answered with another shy smile._

"_I couldn't help but have a crush on you Santana. And it's okay to be confused . I can-"_

_She stopped as I shook my head and took a step back from her advancement._

"_I think I need some time." I blurted. "To figure things out for myself." I added._

_Her shoulders fell once more._

"_Okay." She nodded. "If that's what you want, I'll give you time, San."_

_I let out the breath I had been holding. "Thank you." _

_She nodded again and stepped away from the door, allowing me to pass through it. I noted the sadness on her face as I did so._

"_I'll see you on Monday." I told her. _

_I didn't want her to think I was running away from her forever. The way her face relaxed somewhat told me she was grateful to hear that._

"_Okay, Sanny." She said with an anxious smile._

* * *

_It's now been three days since I told Brittany I needed space. She honored my request completely and my phone remained strangely silent throughout the weekend._

_Ever since I had fallen asleep that night in her arms it was like something had woken up inside me. Something that had been hovering beneath my own disbelief and stubbornness. Out of sight, out of mind. Not anymore. _

_I realized one thing was absolutely certain. I missed Brittany._

_Missed seeing her. Laughing with her. Feeling her pinkie finger wrap around my own. _

_That was the clearest thing amidst the confusion. I felt utterly alone without her._

_Today I arrived at school to the unfamiliar sight of an empty space next to my locker where the blonde would usually be waiting for me. When I made my way to French class she had taken a seat nearly in the front row, as far away from our normal table as possible. When I entered the room she only looked up long enough to send me a shy smile before looking back to her textbook._

_I took my seat at our regular table and tried my best not to stare at the back of her head the whole time. _

_When Mrs. Baudin instructed us to pair up I watched as Brittany leaned closer to the girl next to her. I swallowed hard and distracted myself with partnering up with Marley who sat in front of me._

_As Marley took the seat next to me I decided to try something._

_Marley was cute, right? Little by little I checked her out. She had a nice body, pretty eyes. Her hair was cute and her boobs weren't nonexistent. Objectively speaking, yeah, Marley was a babe. But did I want to kiss her? My eyes traced over her lips and I felt a tingle run over me. Nothing compared to the electricity I felt with Brittany, but still a tingle. Did that make me gay? Maybe I'm just curious? That's normal, isn't it? Besides I-_

"_Santana?" Marley broke me from my inner thoughts. "You're kind of just sitting there, staring at me." _

"_Huh? Sorry- here let's just get started." I pushed the dialogue sheet her way._

_As we ran through the lines of French I only half paid attention. I remained occupied by my thoughts._

_There was some attraction to Marley. She is cute. Her hair was pretty but it wasn't blonde. Her eyes were nice to look at but they aren't blue. Her body is great but Brittany's body… A shiver passed through me, much stronger than the earlier tingle._

"_Santana?" Marley tried for my attention again._

"_Sorry." I replied automatically. _

_For the rest of the day I only caught glimpses of Brittany in the halls. The blonde seemed to be doing everything that she could to give me the space I had asked for. I appreciated it but I didn't want it anymore. I needed to talk to her. But now she was making it nearly impossible to track her down._

_Finally in last hour I pulled out my phone to type a quick message._

_Can we talk? To Britt-Britt_

_My phone buzzed with her response in seconds._

_Of course. From Britt-Britt_

_Meet after school our usual spot? To Britt-Britt_

_I'll be there. From Britt-Britt._

_I let out a shaky breath and tucked my phone away. No more running now._

_I felt strangely calm as I walked down the path in the woods of the park. The path led to a little glade we had found as kids. We had claimed it as our spot one summer and camped out overnight under the stars. _

_As the path opened up to the clearing I spot Brittany pacing near the middle of the area. She comes to a stop when I step off the path._

_I can tell she's nervous. I am too. She waits patiently, wringing her hands in front of her, as I make my way towards her._

"_Hey." I greeted, coming to stand a few feet away._

"_Hi." She flashed me a smile._

_I opened my mouth to begin saying what I had planned but before any words came out Brittany cut me off._

"_Wait! Before you say anything I just wanted to tell you..." She blurted nervously. "It's okay. Whatever you've decided about me- about us. I'll be okay, I don't want to lose your friendship. That's what's most important to me. But if you need more space from me take it, just don't stay too far away, please." She finished._

_I couldn't help the small, half smile that tugged at my mouth. This was exactly why I was so drawn to her. Her heart was so big and open, and me- well I was just lucky that she wanted to give me a little piece of it to keep for myself._

"_I'm still confused." I admitted. "I'm not sure if I'm- gay." I struggled a bit on the very word. "My entire life I've never really let myself think about it. But now that I am. Well I just keep thinking about you. I don't know if that makes me a lesbian. I just know that these past few days have been awful. Awful because I missed you. And that kiss…it terrified me, but only because I don't think I've ever felt something like that before, not with anyone else. It was…It was like I was waking up. And now I can't stop thinking about how much I want to kiss you again." _

_The words that came out weren't the ones that I had planned when I had been driving to the park. Every syllable that spilled from my lips had a mind of its own and it was too late to make any of them turn around and crawl back inside. So when the words finally came to a stop I just stood there, waiting for Brittany to say something back._

_Turns out she didn't feel much like talking._

_With a mere half of a step she closed the space between us and pressed her lips to mine, cupping my cheeks. My own hands went automatically to her waist and my eyes widened briefly, meeting cobalt blues, before closing as I leaned more into the kiss._

_I pulled back when I felt wetness on her cheeks. We stayed close, her hands still cradling my head._

"_I missed you too, Santana. So much." She paused to press another firm kiss against my lips._

The picture slipped from my fingers as the memory drifted away. Still, I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

It was one of those vintage pictures, a polaroid. I didn't have to wonder who had taken it as I remembered the yellow polaroid camera I had gotten Brittany for her 15th birthday. It was an up close image of me and Brittany, her left arm was slung over my shoulder pulling me close while both my arms were wrapped around her back. Our lips were pressed together, my eyes closed while Brittany held one open to make sure the camera was pointed at us.

"_Brittany! Stop it!" I laughed as the blonde pointed her camera at me yet again._

"_What? I just want one picture, San?" She told me, peeking over the camera._

"_You have taken literally tons of pictures! You're wasting film!" I pointed out._

_Now she dropped the camera and scooted across the picnic blanket to steal a kiss._

_ I swear, every time we came to the glade now she never missed an opportunity to kiss me. I couldn't blame her. The glade was the one place we had complete privacy, where I would let her kiss me as much as she wanted without worrying about being caught together._

"_Film used to take pictures of your beautiful face is never wasted." She murmured against my lips. _

"_That's such a line." I tried to protest when she pulled back._

"_That's the truth." She said, leaning back in. _

_My eyes were closed to the flash but I faintly heard the click and whirring of the camera as it spit out an image. Brittany pulled away from the kiss to quickly turn over the picture and protect it from the sunlight. I tucked my head onto her shoulder as we waited for it to develop fully. A few minutes of serenity passed before she finally turned it over._

"_I'd like to keep that one." I told her quietly. She passed it to me along with a kiss on the head._

It had been the first picture on top of a stack of others. Also laying in the box I found several friendship bracelets that I recognized to be the ones me and Brittany made together when we were younger. We didn't wear them anymore, but I knew for a fact she kept hers in a box much like this one on a shelf in her closet. Various trinkets that we had collected during our younger adolescence littered the box as well.

I didn't realize my hands were shaking until I tried to pick up the rest of the polaroids. Flipping through them I found them to all be of either me, Brittany, or the both of us.

My mind finally stopped being numb long enough for me to realize what these pictures meant. I didn't just have a crush on Brittany! We have a relationship! A secret romantic relationship! My mind was spinning with questions.

_Why didn't she tell me?! Does anyone else know?! What about Matt?_

_Matt-!_

My eyes flick quickly to the bracelet still dangling from my wrist. More puzzle piece memories snap into place.

_That lying son of a bitch! _I nearly break the chain trying to get the stupid thing off my body.

Then I'm up and closing the box and shoving it back under my bed in a somewhat frantic daze. I yank open my bedroom door and step out only to collide with Rose.

"Jeez! Hello!" She exclaims giving me a once over. "What's the matter with you? You look like you're having a stroke." I see real worry in her eyes despite the humor in her voice.

I open my mouth but before I can say anything I feel the touch of her hand on my shoulder.

"_I give up! I can't pronounce any of this shit correctly! I'm too used to Spanish, why couldn't they let me take Spanish?" I groan and flop back onto the bed. Brittany laughs at my antics._

"_You're already fluent in Spanish, Sanny."_

"_I know, I would've passed that shit, no problem."_

"_French isn't that hard to pronounce, you just keep making it sound like Spanish."_

"_I can't help it! That's what I'm used to!"_

"_The only problem is that your tongue isn't moving quite the right way to make it sound French…" Brittany's eyes twinkle with mischief._

"_Oh, it's not?" I play along with a grin._

_She shakes her head in response. "Here, let me show you." Sitting up and crawling her way across the bed, Brittany hovers over me. I prop myself up on my elbows as she swings her leg over my waist, straddling me._

_Her hands cup my face lightly and she leans down to me, teasing me by only brushing her lips ever so lightly against mine._

"_I don't think I'm learning anything." I whisper. _

"_Patience. This will take some practice." She whispers back. Our mouths are so close I can feel her breath on my skin when she speaks. My eyes move from her lips, traveling over beautiful features to meet her gorgeous blue eyes. God her eyes are breathtaking. When our lips finally meet fully I'm unable to keep my eyes open. I let them close, allowing myself to be fully immersed in the kiss. Brittany's lips move playfully with mine, nipping at my lower lip before sucking it into her mouth. I surrender to her completely when her tongue darts out to find mine, I immediately grant her access, opening my lips to allow her tongue entry. We both moan as our tongues meet and twist together gingerly. _

_Brittany pushes against my shoulders, guiding me down to fully lie on the mattress. My hands reach up, tangling in her hair and pulling her closer. Her hips press down into mine and it takes all my will power to refrain from grinding up into her._

_Brittany pulls out of the kiss and I take the chance to get some air. Her face is flushed and her eyes have darkened like I've come to notice they do when we kiss._

"_Do you feel like you've learned something now?" She asks._

"_Yes. But I'm going to need you to show me again. I don't think I've got the hang of it yet." I pull her face back down to me and press our mouths back together greedily. _

"_Mmm, no problem." She murmurs against my lips._

_It's not long before the French text book has been somehow kicked off the bed and our hands grasp each other's bodies with hungry want and our lips move to explore each other's neck. I've lost all control at this point, my hips undulating against hers. Her hands have wandered their way up my shirt to tease along my bare sides, ghosting over my ribs._

_Kissing her makes everything around me stop. That's why I didn't hear the footsteps in the hallway, or my bedroom door opening. Not until it was too late._

"_Yo, San, I'm home early from- Oh God! Sorry!" Rosalina exclaims. _

_As quickly as she had entered the room she exits, re-closing the door behind her hastily. Brittany gave her best effort to untangle herself from me but it was too late. The damage was done. Rose had seen us together._

_I sat up on the bed in shock. Oh fuck. Rose knows. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck._

"_San…" Brittany tries timidly._

"_That just happened, didn't it?"_

"_Yeah…" She whispers._

"_Okay." I'm still in a state of shock._

"_It'll be okay, San. She wouldn't say anything." Britt grabs my hands and pulls them into her lap._

_I nod numbly._

"_Maybe you should go." I whisper. The words are out of my mouth before I realize. I don't mean them, not really, but I'm moving on autopilot right now and I can't stop myself._

"_San, please don't do this. Don't shut me out." Britt pleads._

_I'm quiet for a moment._

"_I'm not." I finally look up from the floor to meet Brittany's eyes. "I want- I'm going to talk to Rose." I say._

_I'm still not sure what's going on with me. But I feel different all of a sudden. I don't feel ashamed and mortified. Not like I thought I would. I feel brave. I feel ready._

"_What are you going to tell her?" Brittany asks when I stand from the bed._

"_The truth." I reply. I lean back down and kiss Brittany firmly. "I'm going to tell her the truth." I repeat, pulling away._

"_Do you want me to come?" Brittany catches my hand. I shake my head._

"_No. I need to do this by myself." I have to do this by myself. I have to show myself that I'm strong enough to be who I am. _

"_Do you really want me to leave?" Brittany pulls my hand to her lips and kisses it._

"_No." I choke out. The fear is still present after all._

"_Okay, I'll wait in here then." She offers and I nod._

_The strength I'm feeling wavers as I step into the hall and start towards Rose's room. Panic resurfaces._

'_What if she hates me now?' 'What if she tells Mom and Dad?' 'What if my family disowns me?' Every doubt that I thought I had worked past suddenly floods back into me._

_I stand outside Rose's door for a long moment trying to calm myself. Breathe, Santana, breathe. I raised my hand to knock but couldn't. My hand fell back to my side limply. I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the doubts, shutting out my fear._

'_Just do it already, damn it!' I mentally scream at myself._

_Finally I let out a long breath and knock fast._

"_Rose?" I call out and then hold my breath._

"_Come in!" Had she hesitated before answering? I couldn't tell._

_Slowly, I turned the door knob and took a half-step into her room. Rose turned her in her desk chair to face me and slung her arm over the back of it._

"_What's up?" she asked, voice perfectly even. As if she hadn't just walked in on me and my best friend in a heated make-out session. For a second I thought that maybe I could just walk out of her room and we could both pretend that she hadn't seen anything. But I didn't. I couldn't. I needed someone to know. _

"_So, about what you just- uh…I mean, me and Brittany…I just..." and suddenly I didn't know what to say. I never knew in the first place how exactly I was going to attempt to explain my "relationship" to her. Shit! I should've planned out what to say before walking in here like a fucking idiot!_

"_About me and Brittany, I'm not exactly sure…what to call it because I'm not exactly sure what 'it' is. I mean, Brittany's not confused, she's always known, but I'm very confused because I've never been... with a girl…like this before." I blurt in an incoherent rush. _

_There. It was done. It was out there. She knows._

_I searched Rose's face for any sign of disgust of horror but her expression stayed natural. She certainly didn't seem as freaked out about this as I am._

_She didn't say anything for a minute, just sat there and nodded. My teeth sank into my lower lip. Suddenly, Rose stood and moved over to her bed, she sat on the edge and patted the space next to her. For a second I didn't move. I stood frozen. She patted the bed again and I finally jerked into motion and sank slowly onto the mattress next to her. I gripped the edge of the bed beneath me and stared straight ahead at the wall._

"_It's okay." Those are the first words she tells me. "I get it. Really, I do. I understand you're confused and probably scared because you don't know what you're doing. But that's okay. That's normal." Rose says. _

_I'm dumbfounded. How is she being this calm right now?_

"_You're not any different to me, Santana. I'm still you're little sister, okay? And I've got your back. Always." She slipped her arm around my shoulders and I all but break down. Rose pulls me into her arms and tears found their way down my face. Tears of relief. Of joy. The stress that had been building up on my shoulders for months evaporated in an instant. I buried my face into her shoulder._

"_I love you so much right now." I mutter into her shirt. She laughs and rubs my back soothingly._

_When I eventually pull away I wipe at my eyes and take a few shaky breaths. My whole body feels lighter, elated even. _

"_I love you too, sis. All I ask is that next time, you lock your door so I don't have to witness your spit exchanges." She jokes._

_I laugh in disbelief. "Well if you had knocked before you came in we wouldn't have had a problem."_

"_Well whenever you two are down getting your mack on in the music room it doesn't matter if I knock or not, those doors are see through." She points out._

"_Wait, you saw us in the music room?" I question. Rose laughs at my look of bewilderment._

"_I've seen you two getting all touchy down there twice."_

"_What? So you knew about me and Brittany?" My mouth hangs open in shock._

"_Well I didn't know all the details but I've been piecing them together for a while now. It's not hard to put two and two together, especially with the way I catch Brittany looking at you. Or the way you look at her. Are you guys in love?"_

_A blush heats my cheeks as I stutter in response. _

"_I-I don't know. We're just-we're figuring things out…" I wring my hands in my lap._

"_Hey, that's fine. No pressure, San."_

"_You won't tell Mami and Papi, will you?"_

"_Of course not. This is something you have to tell them, but only when you're ready to."_

"_How do you think they would take it? If I told them I'm-"I froze for a second. This would be the first time I would say it out loud to someone besides myself. "If I told them I'm gay." _

"_Are you gay? Or do you think you're just gay for Brittany?" Rose asks._

_I shook my head._

"_I'm definitely gay. Lesbian gay, not bisexual. I just- I've tried with guys you know, with Matt it's like, yeah, he's nice, he's my friend, but there's just nothing sexual."_

"_Woah, woah! I'm your baby sister Santana! I don't need to know about all the sexy feelings Brittany gives you." Rose mock plugs her ears._

"_Oh shut up! Besides, it's not just sexual with Brittany. It's feels like more than that. I don't know how to explain it. When I'm with her, it's like I feel everything they talk about in the movies. It just feels _right_…" I trail off, lost in thought._

"_Sounds like love." Rose mentions. "It seems like you already have things pretty well figured out." She points out._

"_Yeah. I think I do." I smile to myself._

_Rose nudges my shoulder with hers again._

"_I'm happy for you, hermana." Rose's smile dims a little bit. "Now what are you going to do about Matt?"_

"_I'm going to end it with him. Soon. But I'm not ready to come out to everyone yet. You're the first person I've officially told."_

"_Well what are you waiting for? Go tell Brittany next!" She pushes me off the bed. I squeeze her for one more hug before I go._

"Santana? You in there?" Rose called me back, worry even more prominent in her eyes as she studied my face.

"You knew?" I managed to choke out.

"I knew what?" She frowns at me.

"About me and Brittany!" I hiss, grabbing her shoulders now and giving her a shake.

"You remember!" Rose exclaims, her face lighting up.

"How could you not have told me?!" I gave her another, harder shake. "_Usted sabía todo este tiempo y nunca me dijiste?!"_

"I wanted to! Brittany made me swear not to tell you but I wanted to! I tried dropping hints! It's not my fault you were too dense to pick them up!" She fired back in defense.

I thought back to Rose's obvious disdain for Matt, to the seemingly casual comments she'd made, the looks shared with Brittany.

_Brittany…oh man. You even tried to tell me._ I recalled our lunch conversation- _"you'd be surprised how clueless a person could be". _

"But why wouldn't she have wanted me to know?" I wondered out loud.

"I asked her the same thing. She said she didn't want to put any pressure on you, that you were dealing with enough already because of your concussion. She didn't want to confuse you more than you already were."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Britt…Brittany!" I suddenly exclaimed. _What was I still standing here for?_ "I have to go see her!" I practically shouted, meeting Rose's eyes.

"Well what the hell are you waiting for? Go!" She laughed, pushing me towards the stairs.

I raced down the staircase, Rose following behind me in excitement.

Our stampede must have caught Mami's attention because she stepped out of the kitchen in time to witness me jumping the last two steps and all but running to the door leading to the garage.

"Santana? What's going on?" She asked, semi-alarmed.

"You go, I'll take care of the old lady." Rose whispered over my shoulder as I stepped into the garage. I didn't need any more encouragement as I jumped into my car.

"Rosalina! I heard that! Where is she going?" Mami stepped up to the open door.

"Relax, Mami! She knows what she's doing!" was the last thing I heard before pulling out of the garage.

Glancing at the bracelet still somehow clutched in my hand I realized I had one more stop to make before Brittany.

* * *

**A/N: I think that's my longest chapter yet, hopefully that makes up a bit for the fact I haven't updated in a month (probably not :( lol)**

**The next one is in the works, as we all know by this point, I cannot/will not make any promises, only try my best.**

**Raise your hand if you think Matt's gonna get his ass whooped?**

**As always please review! I like those :)**

"Usted sabía todo este tiempo y nunca me dijiste?!"- You knew all this time and never told me?!


	14. Setting the Record

**A/N: The good thing about going camping with no internet is that I could work on this chapter on rainy days. The bad part was waiting until I could get connected to internet again to upload. Here's the much awaited chapter! Hope this one doesn't disappoint all the build up!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviews, you make me smile!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: **_**Setting the Record**_

Matt's house was in the complete opposite direction of Brittany's. A fact that I was painfully aware of as I drove. I didn't want to be wasting any more time with this asshole instead of Brittany.

I'd already done that way too much. It was like the flood gates had opened and memories were pouring back so fast that I could barely comprehend them as they came. I cringed as I found all my excuses piling up.

_Once I closed the doors to the piano room firmly behind myself, Brittany's hands were on my waist. Turning my body towards her and pulling me to the couch. She sat down, bringing me with her and onto her lap. _

_The piano room had become a safe spot for us. Completely sound proof and out of the way of the rest of my family. The couch we found ourselves on now was pushed against the same wall that the doors were on. Had anyone looked through the glass double-doors, they wouldn't see us here._

"_Mmm, where were you at school today? I couldn't find you at lunch." Brittany asked, resting her chin on my shoulder, looking up at me through soft eyelashes._

_I hesitated before answering, knowing she wouldn't like what I was about to say._

"_Matt wanted to take me off campus for lunch." I mentioned. I didn't even have the guts to look her in the eyes when I said it._

_I bit my lip when I felt her chin leave my shoulder._

"_Oh."_

"_Yeah." I nodded. Still too guilty feeling to face her. "It was only lunch."_

"_So you didn't-"_

"_We just ate. That's it. I didn't even hold his hand." I explained. Purposely leaving out the fact that Matt had felt the need to put his hand on my thigh while he drove._

_Still Brittany sighed. She leaned back towards me, this time her cheek met my shoulder and her eyes were trained at the wall._

"_I'm sorry." I offered pointlessly._

"_Why?" She asked after a moment of silence._

"_He said he could feel me pulling away. And then he started talking about football and how stressed he was getting and I felt bad. So I thought, what could it really hurt-"I cut myself short, replaying my last few words to myself._

_It could hurt Brittany. It did hurt Brittany. God, I'm so stupid._

"_I didn't mean to hurt you." I tell her, slipping off her lap to kneel on the floor in front of her with my hands on her knees._

"_I know you're not ready to come out yet." She began, threading her fingers through mine and staring at our hands. "And I'm okay with that. I want you to take your time and get comfortable. I just don't understand why you're still dating Matt." She looked at my eyes now. "You told me you knew what you wanted. You said you wanted me…"_

"_Because I do want you, Britt." I jump in. "Nothing has changed. I'm in love with you and only you."_

"_Then why haven't you ended things with Matt? You told me you were going to soon, Santana. We've been sneaking around for almost three months now! I wanted to be patient for you, to let you decide for sure if this- us- is something that you wanted. You told me a month ago that you were sure. If you're only in love with me then why are you still with him?" Her voice raised and I was glad we had come to the piano room instead of my bedroom._

"_Just because I'm not in love with him doesn't mean I don't care about him. He's a nice guy, a good guy, Brittany. He's trying to get a scholarship for football and I don't want to mess him up, he doesn't deserve that-"_

"_He doesn't deserve you!" She blurted and I could see the angry tears at the corners of her eyes. My own eyes pricked in response. "Do you know how crazy it makes me when I see you two even walk down the hall together?" _

"_He doesn't have me, Britt. Not really. Not in the way it counts." I remind her softly, hoping to ease some of her heartache._

"_He still thinks that he does. And so does everyone else at school. Even our friends. Our families don't even know!" _

"_Rose knows!" I pointed out defensively. Brittany ignored my comment._

"_I want to tell my parents." She admitted, looking me dead in the eye._

"_About us?" I asked even though the question was stupid. Brittany's parents already know that she's gay. She's been out to them and only them since last year she had told me. What they don't know is that for the past three months we've been making out right under their noses. "Brittany, if your mom finds out it will only be a matter of minutes before mine does."_

"_Not if I told her you aren't ready for your parents to know! She wouldn't out you, Santana. She loves you like her own daughter."_

"_Exactly! To her I'm practically your sister! She'd freak out if you told her." I pleaded._

"_She would be happy for us." Brittany insisted calmly._

_I could tell that she wasn't going to budge._

"_Let me end things with Matt first." I bartered. I didn't want Susan to think her daughter was coming in second to him._

"_When will that be?" she asked, considering my offer._

"_The first game of districts is only two weeks away. I don't want to tell Matt until football is completely over. After they lose, I'll end it."_

"_What if they win? That's a whole other week that you will be his girlfriend and not mine." Brittany pouted. "That's not fair either."_

"_Come on Britt, what are the chances that they will actually win? They're playing the Vikings, a team they've already lost to. I highly doubt that we'll even stand a chance against them. I'll only be his girlfriend for two more weeks, Britt, I promise you." I grasped her hands._

"_Besides, I'm only his girlfriend by title, in my heart I'm already yours." I added shyly looking down at our joined hands._

"_And I'm yours." Brittany said just as quietly, lifting my hands and pressing kisses to each of them._

_A week later and the entire school was hyping up for the pre-playoff party that the football team held each year. The idea of having it a whole week before the game was so the team could party all they wanted, relieve stress, and not be hungover for the game. _

_This year the party would be held at Matt's house. Apparently the honor of hosting the party fell to the team MVP. I know this only because Matt had been telling me about it over and over for the past three days. The ego boost he received from being the chosen host was immense. And as the "big-man on campus"- as he so modestly put it- he needed to have his lady on his arm at all times. That's how I found myself being paraded through the halls like a show pony. He would come to retrieve me after each of my classes and proceed to make his rounds, throwing winks and high fives every two steps. I felt used but I couldn't blame him for wanting to make the most of his 15 minutes of fame. _

_Just one more week. I told myself every time he slung his arm around my shoulders._

_My mantra did little to pacify Brittany, who had barely cracked a smile at school since Matt had begun showboating. I did my best to make it up to her after school…_

_Wednesday, my parents had left for some sort of convention that my dad had to attend. They wouldn't be home until Friday. I managed to convince Rose to sleep over at a friend's house. She had agreed with a shit eating grin and told me to make sure I kept 'my activities out of family areas in the house'. After she left I busied myself with set up. Buying a vase of roses to put on the table, ordering take out form Breadstix, and placing candles on every available surface in my bedroom- minus the bed of course. _

_The smile on Brittany's face when she saw the roses told me I had finally done something right for us._

_After dinner I led her up the stairs, a ball of anxiety knotting low in my stomach._

_Brittany gasped when I opened the door, revealing the flickering candles that I had snuck up here to light just minutes ago under the guise of using the bathroom. _

_We stepped inside and I closed the door behind us, this time not to keep us a secret but instead to keep the atmosphere intimate. Our own little world, lit only by the tiny dancing flames that cast shadows against the four walls that separated us from the rest of reality._

_Her blue eyes reflected the soft light as I stepped in front of her and took her hands in mine. Taking a moment just to feel the soft skin of her palms._

"_I love you Brittany Susan Pierce. And I want to show you just how much. With everything that I've been putting you through you haven't given up on me. And I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how much that means to me. So I want to give you something that no one else has ever had. I want to give you all of me." I finished, pressing a kiss to her lips._

_The knot in my stomach loosened as I felt Brittany's arms encircle me gently, like I was some sort of delicate figurine that needed to be handled with care. In that moment, I loved her even more. She knew how much this meant to me. My virginity was something that only a few people close to me knew I still had. _

_My freshman year I had gone out a few times with a sophomore guy who had made the varsity football team. We had only kissed a handful of times but rumor soon spread that I had let him go all the way. When I realized the rumor was getting me attention from the captains of the Cheerios squad I stopped trying to negate it. Soon enough I was getting invited to upperclassmen parties and being groomed to take a spot on the top of the pyramid. Rumors were just words after all, why did I care? At school only Britt, Quinn, and Puck knew the truth and I had taken them with me on my way to the top._

_As the kiss deepened I stepped backwards, leading us slowly towards the bed._

_This was it. I was really about to lose my virginity. But lose didn't seem like the right word to me. 'Lose' implies that it's something I hadn't cared enough about to make sure it stayed in the same spot. No, I was giving it away. Giving it to the same person that I had given my heart to._

_I dropped to sit on the bed when the back of my knees met the edge. Brittany followed, perching on the mattress beside me, our lips still locked in a slow burning kiss._

_When she pulled away a bit I decided to make my move. I looked down to watch as my fingers caught hold of the hem of her shirt. _

_Brittany's hands took hold of my wrists just as I began to pull her shirt up. Frowning, I looked up to find her shaking her head._

"_Santana… I can't." She voiced softly._

_My heart froze over in panic. Worries began to race through my mind._

_Too late! I've made her wait too long for me, she doesn't want me anymore. She got tired of waiting._

_But as soon as she continued speaking I felt guilty for have even letting myself think like that._

"_I want all of you Santana." Brittany moved to cup my cheeks, blue eyes burning with an intensity that went beyond lust. "I don't want to share you with anyone else. I want to be the only person holding your hand in the hallway and walking you to class. I want to be the only one kissing you at your locker. I don't want to just have sex with you, I want to make love to you and hold you in my arms afterwards. I want to wake up to your hair on my face and our legs tangled together, knowing that I'm the only one that can do that. That's what I want, Santana. I want all of you in every way. I can't share." Brittany finished, biting her lip, waiting for my response._

_I didn't realize I was crying until I felt Brittany's thumb wiping away my tears._

"_I'm sorry." I say, leaning forward to bury my face in neck. "I keep messing everything up! I'm such a stupid coward!"_

"_Don't say that!" Brittany held me closer so that I'm all but in her lap. "It's not stupid to be afraid, San. You have such a big heart for not wanting to hurt anyone."_

_But I still was hurting people. My heart might be big but Brittany's... Brittany's heart was pure gold. And here I was teasing it._

_The next day I managed to avoid Matt's attempts to waltz down the halls. I spent every minute I could with Brittany, trying to begin making it up to her. Things were going great until Friday. _

_The day of the pre-playoff party was a rare day off from Cheerios practice. Instead of meeting on the field to run drills, the squad gathered at one of the senior squad member's houses to get ready for the night ahead._

_When I called Quinn after school to confirm that we would be meeting at Brittany's house at 6pm she seemed surprised that I didn't know that the plans had changed._

"_She didn't tell you?" Quinn had asked._

"_Tell me what?"_

"_Britt texted me like an hour ago telling me that she was puking her guts out. She's not coming to the party tonight and the squad is going to meet at my house instead." Quinn told me. "I just assumed she had texted you too."_

"_No… She didn't. I better go check on her." I hung up without hearing Quinn's response._

_When I pulled up to the Pierce's house I found Brittany's car to be the only one home. I let myself in and headed straight for her room._

_Instead of finding Brittany curled up, clutching a sick pail like I expected to see, I found her sitting at the edge of her bed with a look on her face that I could only describe as seriously pissed off._

_When I stepped through the door way she didn't seem at all surprised to see me._

"_Quinn just told me that you're sick and can't come to the party tonight?" I raise an eyebrow in confusion._

"_I am sick." Brittany responded, keeping her glare fixed at her closet door. _

"_You don't look very sick…" I state my observation with caution._

"_You know what I heard today?" Brittany snapped out as soon as the words left my mouth. "I stopped by the locker room after school to grab some of my stuff. When I came out of the locker room I heard Matt telling Karofsky and Azimo how hard he was going to pound you tonight at the party. I promise you, in that moment, I was absolutely sick to my stomach." She fumed._

_I stood there in shock for a moment before deciding to join her on the bed._

"_Brittany, he was just trying to show off to his friends. Puck does the same thing. You know I wouldn't ever have sex with him." I placed my hand on her tensed arm. My own stomach was churning with anger and disgust at Matt. Is this what he's been doing for the past six months? Telling all his friends about banging me?_

_Brittany nodded at my words but then shook her head._

"_I can't go tonight. I can't stand there and watch him be all over you. I know he's tried plenty of times to get you in bed, I've seen him try myself, but I won't be able to witness it tonight. Not while I'm still nauseous. I'll snap." She stated, standing up from the bed and digging her fingers into her hairline in a show of frustration. "I just keep picturing his hands on you and it's- ugh, I don't know how I'm going to survive another week of this!" She rambled, pacing in front of her closet._

"_You won't have to." I voiced the thought out loud but not loud enough for her to hear over her own thunderous fury._

_I stood in front of her as she turned to get her attention and repeated myself._

_"Tonight." I spoke firmly to the blonde in front of me. Her eyes looked up from the floor at my tone. "I'm doing it tonight. No more waiting."  
Brittany stepped closer. Her eyes were a cobalt mixture of hope and hesitation.  
"San, I didn't mean to push you. You don't have to-"  
"Yes. I do, Britt." I reached out to hold her hands. "Pushing or not, you were right. I can't let this keep dragging on. It's not fair to anyone."  
Brittany's lips pulled back in a shy smile. I couldn't blame her for any doubts she was having. I'd said this before and hadn't had the nerve to follow through. In a show of commitment I held up my pinkie.  
"I promise." I told her softly. She lifted her own hand and wrapped her smallest finger around mine.  
"I'll see you later tonight then?" I could tell she was doing her best to keep the anticipation from her voice.  
"You will." I vowed. "Pinkie promise." _

_We sealed the vow with a kiss._

* * *

_As I pulled up to the curb at Matt's house I could tell the party was in full swing. I could hear the music blaring from the house and a few drunken couples were making out on the porch already. I stepped out of my car and started for the door._

_I'm just going to do it quick. Rip the band aid off. Get it done and over with and go to Brittany's house. I told myself._

_I shivered, thinking how Brittany might greet me when I get there. There'll be no reason for us to hold back anymore… Yeah, I definitely want to get to her fast._

_When I got through the door I wasted no time in looking for Matt. There were bodies everywhere. It looked like the entire school had shown up for the pre-playoff party. I struggled through the crowd of teenagers for several minutes before bumping into someone familiar._

"_Santana!" Quinn exclaimed, raising her red solo cup in the air. Her arms came around my shoulders and she leaned against me, clearly quite tipsy. "It's about time you got here! You're so late I thought you weren't gonna come!"_

"_I know I'm late, but I'm here now. My duty as a Cheerios captain has been officially fulfilled. And so has yours." I pointed out. "Are you going home soon?" I asked, looking over her head at Puck who had followed her over._

"_No way! This party is the biggest one there's been all year!" She protested._

"_I'll make sure she gets home okay, Santana. No worries." Puck told me, wrapping his arm around Quinn's waist and pulling her back towards himself._

"_Okay, good. Have you seen Matt around?" I asked him, trying to scan the crowd again._

"_He was in the kitchen just a few minutes ago when Quinn was getting a drink." He informed me, nodding his head towards the open doorway that led to the kitchen._

"_Great, thanks." _

_I began shoving my way through the crowd to reach the doorway. When I finally reached it I found Matt and his buddies lounging around a keg laughing about some sort of obscene joke I'm sure._

"_Matt." I called, hoping to draw him away. I wanted to get this over with but I didn't want to do it in front of everyone._

"_There she is bro!" Karofsky chuckled._

"_Yeah she's calling for ya! Looks like she wants it right now!" Azimo added in with a laugh, patting Matt on the back as he stumbled away from the keg._

_Oh great, he looks like he's already wasted._

"_Santanaaa! Babe! I've been waiting for you to get here!" Matt yelled out. He stepped closer, attempting to pull me close but I stepped back towards the living room._

"_Can we go somewhere private for a minute?" I asked him. _

_I regretted it as soon as I saw the grin that lit up his face. He turned back to his boys and I couldn't see what he did but Karofsky and Azimo immediately started cheering. _

_I groaned in disgust and grabbed Matt by the arm, pulling him to and up the stairs. I was hoping that the hall would be empty so that I wouldn't have to go into a bedroom with him but when I arrived at the top of the stairs I found the hall just as crowded as it had been downstairs. Luckily none of them noticed as I opened the closest door and slipped in with Matt in tow. Unfortunately, the closest door led to his bedroom._

_I turned and closed the door behind us. By the time I turned back around I found Matt struggling to get his shirt off. My stomach dropped._

"_Matt, stop. That's so not why I brought you up here." I said but he didn't seem to hear me._

"_Matt, this isn't working!" I blurted, trying to get his attention._

"_Of course it's not, you still have all your clothes on." He laughed and tossed his shirt to the floor before moving to his belt._

"_No, I mean us! This relationship. It's not working. I want to break up." I hurry to tell him before he can unbuckle his belt._

_He froze from the action and looked up, appearing more sober than earlier._

"_Wait, w-what?" He stuttered._

"_I want to break up." I repeated firmly. "I don't want to do this anymore."_

_Matt's face reflected his surprise._

"_Why? We've been dating for almost six months! This is coming out of nowhere!" He stepped towards me with a look of panic._

"_I've been feeling this way for a long time now, Matt. I know that you've noticed. This relationship isn't going anywhere for us." I try to explain._

"_Because you won't let it!" He raised his voice. "Every time I try to take things to the next level you shut me down! That's why it hasn't been going anywhere!"_

"_I've been shutting you down because I don't want to go to the next level with you!" I yell back fiercely. "I don't want to have sex with you because I'm not in love with you, Matt!" I add and he falls silent._

"_I can't help it. I just don't feel the way I used to about you." I tell him, easing off._

"_We can go back then! Give me a chance to make you feel that way again then!" He pleads but I shake my head._

"_Matt, I was never in love with you." I break it to him. "At first I liked you. You were nice and funny and cute. So I thought, 'sure, why not try it out'. But it never got past that for me. I never felt more than that." I admit, taking off the bracelet he had given me and holding it out to him._

_He numbly took the bracelet and I moved to leave. _

_His hand wrapped around my wrist and jerked me back._

"_Wait! No, we're not done here." He spat. I don't remember ever seeing him angry like this. My throat tightened a little with panic. I pushed him back and yanked my wrist away._

"_Yes we are, Matt. Good bye." I hissed and spun for the door before he could say or do anything else._

_Flying down the stairs I fought my way through bodies once more to get outside._

_Despite Matt's bad reaction I was feeling strangely elated. Like I had been walking with a heavy weight and now I was free to run. So I did run. Straight to my car because despite the energy I had now, I wouldn't be able to run the entire way to Brittany's house._

_I snapped my seat belt in and peeled away from the curb. I sped for a few miles before I reached for the radio, craving some tunes to match my high spirits. I glanced up at the green light ahead of me then back down to the dial as I tried to find the pop station that Brittany liked to listen to when we rode together._

_When bright light suddenly flooded in through the driver's window I looked up, startled. The only thing I remember next was hearing the crunch of metal and a scream ripping its way out of my throat._

My hands were shaking on the wheel now as I came back from the memory. My throat felt newly raw and my head throbbed where I had been cut in the accident. I took a few deep breaths and looked around. I had arrived at Matt's house now. As I jumped out of the car it occurred to me that I didn't even know if he was home for sure.

_Oh well. I'm about to find out._

Knocking on the door I tried my best to keep the look of fury off of my face, just in case his parents answered the door. They hadn't purposely raised him to be a lying asshole I'm sure.

I didn't have to worry about my face after all. When the door opened, Matt was on the other side.

"Santana? Hey-" Was the only part of his sentence that made it out of his mouth before my hand made contact with his face.

The slap connected with a sharp crack and left my own palm stinging. By the look on his face and the way his hand came up to cover his cheek I could tell it hurt him more than me.

_Good._

"What the hell?!" He exclaimed.

I chucked the bracelet at him but he was too startled to catch it. It bounced off his chest and fell to the floor.

"You're a lying sack of shit, Matt." I hissed in his face. "How dare you take advantage of me like that!"

"Wait! I can explain!" He tried but I only cut him off.

"No! You can't. Nothing you can say will change my mind. We're over, Matt. We were officially over a week ago but you lied to me! That's sick! Taking advantage of the fact that I lost all of my memories! You disgust me!" I fumed.

"San, please-"He reached out but I was already backing towards the door.

"Don't touch me! And don't talk to me! I don't even want to see your face anymore! Do you understand that?"

"Y-yes. I understand." He uttered, looking fearful.

I slammed the door behind me on my way back to my car. I realized I felt similar to how I had on the night of the party. The weight was gone again. I could feel a smile crack through the fury that was still present in my features.

It faltered as I remembered everything I had put Brittany through.

_Not anymore._ I vowed.

As I shifted my car into drive I kept a careful look out for semi-trucks.

As soon as my car made it to the curb outside the Pierce residence I yanked the gear into park and flew to the front door. I didn't pause to knock, instead I let myself in, startling Mrs. Pierce who appeared to be picking up the living room.

"Santana? Is everything okay?" Mrs. Pierce questioned as she took note of my hurry.

"It's fine, Susan, sorry to scare you. Is Brittany home?" I rushed out in one breath.

"Yes, she's in her room doing some homework I believe. Would you like me to call her out?" She offers.

"No thanks!" I cut her off quickly. "I'll go to her." I throw over my shoulder as I start down the hall, trying to keep my composure in front of Mrs. Pierce.

As soon as I'm out of the older woman's sight I speed up and when I reach Britt's door I all but throw it open without knocking.

I find Brittany sitting on her bed with a notebook and textbook in front of her. She frowns at my sudden entry and stands up.

"Santana? What's going on?" She asks.

I turn and close the door behind me, locking it for good measure before I cross the room in three strides and cup her face.

"San-?" Is all she can get out before I pull her lips to mine.

When our lips connected I could feel my heart swelling inside my chest. As if it was being filled with something warm and tender that it had been missing for too long.

_Yes! _Something inside me was screaming. _This is right! Finally!_

The voice halted abruptly when Brittany suddenly jerked away from me. I realized that her lips hadn't moved against mine except to let out a gasp of surprise.

"Santana?" She croaked out, her voice hoarse and thick with emotion. I could see the tears in the corners of sapphire eyes.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted suddenly, feeling hot tears spill from my own eyes. "Brittany, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean to forget you! I'm sor-"

My plea was cut short as she lurched forward to capture my lips once more. Her hands slid into the hair at the base of my neck, pulling me closer. The wetness on my cheeks told me that she too was crying.

"Shh." She murmured into the kiss. The kiss that was turning so desperately frantic that I could only piece together a few of the words she whispered against my lips with passion in every syllable.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." She repeated. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Her lips weren't enough. I found myself planting kisses along her jawline, down the smooth skin of her neck, back up to her cheeks. _God_, I had missed her. My arms were locked tightly around the small of her back, unwilling to let anything create more than an inch of space in between us.

I kissed away her tears and pulled back only a fraction to wipe my own face. Brittany beat me to it, swiping her thumbs across the apples of my cheeks. Tears still crept into the corners of both of our eyes but our mouths were drawn into painfully wide smiles. I choked out a laugh and so did she. The next thing I know we are both giggling and kissing and sniffling.

A knock on Brittany's door pulls my lips from hers but I remain in her arms, unsure if I'll ever feel ready to leave them again.

"Is everything okay in there girls?" Mrs. Pierce called out from the other side.

"It's fine, Mom!" Britt calls back as I tuck my head under her chin, leaning against her chest. "Everything's perfect." She adds in a much quieter voice that I'm sure Mrs. Pierce didn't catch as her footsteps sounded away. But that's okay because I know the words hadn't been meant for her anyway.

We managed to pull ourselves together long enough to move to sit on the bed. Brittany shoved her homework to the foot of the bed and leaned against the headboard, looking shyly at me and raising one arm slightly. I quickly joined her, slipping under her arm and leaning onto her shoulder, one of my favorite spots in the world. Her other hand came across her lap to find mine and entwine our fingers together. I pressed my forehead against her neck and breathed her in. Smiling like a fool when her lavender scent greeted my nose.

"When did you-? And how did you-?" The words tumbled out of her mouth with a familiar nervous excitement.

"When and how did I remember?" I recapped the moment that I had found the box of pictures beneath my bed. Brittany's face lit up with the most adorable shy smile when I told her about the picture that had made me remember it all.

Wordlessly, she clambered off the bed and crossed over to her dresser, pulling the bottom drawer open and shifting clothes around she pulled out a box much similar to the one beneath my bed. Sliding back onto the bed she lifted the cover, revealing more pictures, some of them appeared to be copies of ones I had already seen in my box, others were new to me, yet familiar at the same time. I could recall some of them being taken but from the oblivious look on my face in quite a few of the photos, it was clear that I hadn't known I was being photographed. In one I was bending to feed some ducks, in another I was simply sitting in an armchair with my feet curled beneath me, reading.

"And before you tell me that I'm wasting film- I've been taking pictures since before you even gave me this camera, I know a good shot when I see it." She told me sweetly.

We spent the next hour pouring over the pictures, reliving the memories, and when Brittany replaced her box into her drawer, we sat against the headboard once more.

"This doesn't feel real." Brittany voiced softly and I could relate.

"It is real." I assured her. "I'm just sorry it took me so long." I sat up to see her frown.

"Don't be. I mean it. Don't apologize, it wasn't your fault." She told me. "You were in an accident for crying out loud."

"I don't just mean the accident." I shook my head. "I mean everything. Everything with Matt and with me not being ready to come out. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for what I've been doing to you."

"San-" Brittany began shaking her head.

"No, let me finish, please." Brittany bit her lip and I hurried to continue. "I love you Brittany. And I know that I've told you that but I've done a horrible job at showing you. I kept you a secret. From everyone, I kept us a secret and I shouldn't have. I should have been shouting it from the rooftops and writing it in the sky. Love shouldn't come second to anything but that's what I did to you. I put you behind everything else and I pushed off your wants. I should have been encouraging you to tell you family about us, not trying to stop you from doing it. And Matt, Jesus- I should have ended it with him the first night we kissed. Because I knew then, right then and there that he could never make me feel how you did-how you still do. And I want you to know that I did end things with Matt. In fact, I broke up with him last week."

"You said you were going to at the party but he said-"

"He lied, Britt. He lied to me and to everyone. I did break up with him that night." I replayed the events of pre-playoff party to her and watched as her face turned from confusion to fury.

"That fucking bastard! He took advantage of you!" She spat.

It's not often that Brittany swears, she only does it when either really mad or really turned on. And I don't think it's the latter reason at this moment.

"I know. And I made it very clear to him that if he ever speaks to me again, he will be putting his life at risk." I tell her with a half-smile. "I stopped by his house before coming here." I explained, squeezing her hand in mine. "I needed to make sure that I wasn't in anyway _his_ before I came to see you. I'd very much like to be _yours _though, if you'll still have me." I add, looking up to her with a nervous smile.

She cupped my cheek and leaned in for a kiss without hesitation.

"Of course, I'll have you, Sanny. You're the only one I've ever wanted to be mine. And I want to be clear that I don't want to pressure you to come out to everyone all at once. I never wanted to push you out of the closet. I was just hoping that by telling my parents at least, you might feel a little more comfortable about maybe telling yours? I'm not going to lie, your relationship with Matt was the worst part for me. I hated it because I hate him." She disclosed. "But like I said before, the things you wait the longest for are the most worth it. You're more than worth the wait, Santana." Brittany pulled me closer.

"The wait was longer than it should have been. I should have put it together sooner after I woke up in the hospital. It was like I had all these puzzle pieces but I didn't try to put them together because I thought they were from two different puzzles. One puzzle that was real, and the other that was a product of my concussed imagination. Does that make any sense?"

"It does to me. But what pieces did you have when you had just woken up?" Britt asked with a frown.

I blushed, recalling the first dream-memory that I'd had in the hospital.

"I had some dreams, just flashes sometimes, but other times they were like full-on memories. We were in the glade and we kissed. And in another we sat under the stars. When I had just woken up I was too confused to make much of the first one. I just figured it was a random thing. Then my family told me I had a boyfriend" we both cringed a little at the word "and I was sure that my concussion had messed up my head. But then I saw you- your picture- when I got home. I could feel it then, when I saw you. I felt like there was something that I kept missing- like this whole big part of me was gone and I couldn't figure out what it was. But no one around me was telling me about it." I nudged her shoulder.

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to overwhelm you. You couldn't even remember who you were, how were you supposed to remember us? So I figured it was better not to tell you. I was scared that if I did…" She bit her lip and I recognized a look of shame cross her face. "I was scared that if I told you about us you wouldn't remember anyway and you would push me away. When you told me that night that you were breaking up with Matt I was so proud of you because I felt like you were taking a huge step in accepting who you are- and accepting us as a real couple. I didn't want to risk the rejection." She admitted heavily.

"Oh, Britt." I wrapped my arms up around her shoulders now and pulled her into a hug. "My head forgot you but my heart never did. I was just being too stubborn to listen to it when it tried to tell me." She chuckled at that.

"So you're not mad that I didn't tell you?" Brittany asked carefully.

"No! How could I be mad that you were just trying to look out for me by not 'complicating' my situation any further? If anything, that makes me love you even more. The fact that you put my recovery before you-before our relationship? You amaze me." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and leaned back, happy to find a soft smile and blush on her face.

"When Rose told me about the accident I thought I was having a panic attack. I just kept thinking that I made you go to the party. I made you go to break up with Matt-"

"No, no, no, no, no." I cut off her tangent quickly as I saw the tears returning to her eyes. "Don't think for a second that my accident_\- _key word being _accident_\- was your fault. You didn't make me go that night, Britt. I made that choice. If anything, it's my own fault that my ass got hit by a semi-truck for not breaking up with him before that night, like I should have." I added with a chuckle.

"Don't say that, San. I never wanted you to get hurt." She scolded but I had succeeded in drying her eyes.

"Well, I'm okay now. Better than okay." I slipped my hands into hers. "So maybe now we can put all this mess behind us?" I offer hopefully.

I wouldn't blame her if she still held Matt against me. If the situation had been reversed…no, I wouldn't be able to stay away from her.

"Yes." She nodded with enthusiasm. "That sounds so good." She smiled and leaned forward to give me a peck on the lips.

"Good." I grinned then bit my lower lip. "And maybe- maybe we could pick up where we left off… Maybe we could tell your parents?" I can tell she's surprised by my offer and seems somewhat hesitant to accept it. "And before you say anything. I didn't offer because I'm trying to make it up to you. I offered because I think I'm ready. I don't want to waste any more time, Britt. I want to start being honest about who I am. And I think a good start would be with our families. I- I'm not sure about school yet." I admit, feeling the shame creep up. "But I figure the harder part will be my family. And if I can get through that, then I won't care what any Lima loser thinks about me." I finish.

Brittany kisses me again, longer this time, and sweeter.

"I'm so proud of you." She grins. "But I have something to confess, actually." She admits, looking down at our hands.

I raise an eyebrow and wait for her to continue.

"I hope you're not mad but…I kinda- sorta, already told my mother about us." She rushed out and watched carefully for my reaction.

My eyes widened and I could feel a panicked flutter in my chest.

"You already told her?" I clarify, thinking that there was some possibility I could have heard wrong.

"Well I didn't tell her so much as she just guessed herself." She explained.

"When did that happen?"

"The week before your accident." She hunched her shoulders guiltily.

"She's known for two weeks now?"

"She's known officially for two weeks, yes. But she's been thinking that we've been _a thing_ for a month now."

I sat back a little in shock. "A whole month and she never said anything?"

"Not true. She would actually drop hints to me every once and awhile. She would say stuff like 'You know, Santana seems like a really nice girl' or 'Boy, Santana looked pretty today'. At first I thought she was just worried about me being lonely or something, because I haven't really dated anyone since I came out to my parents. But then I broke down and told her that I had a crush on you. After I did that she kept telling me to make a move on you." She laughed. "So I told her that I already had and she said she knew it."

"A-And she was okay with that? With us?" I swallowed.

"Of course she was, San. Just like I told you she would be. She nearly picked me up and spun me around when I told her. She thinks you're perfect for me. And I have to agree with her on that." Britt gave me a soft smile but I couldn't smile back just yet.

"But she knows that I was seeing Matt too?"

"I explained that you were trying to figure things out. She doesn't think any less of you for needing some time to do that." She assured me and I nodded grateful.

"And your dad…?"

"I told my mom not to tell him yet. I wanted to wait for you some more before then. I already felt kinda bad for telling my mom but it was good to have someone to talk to about it besides you."

"Oh, okay. And don't feel bad. I'm glad that you had someone to be there for you besides me." I told her, feeling guilty yet again. I had failed to think that Brittany might need some support in this as well.

"So do you still want to tell my dad?" Brittany's thumbs brushed over the backs of my knuckles.

I nodded decisively. _No more hiding. One step at a time._

Brittany's smile calmed my nerves as she stood from the bed. She didn't pull me to the door. Just stood and held my hand. Waiting for me to take the lead whenever I felt comfortable.

I tried not to focus on how sweaty my palms were as I opened the door and stepped out into the hall. I could hear Brittany's parents moving around in the kitchen, talking and shuffling. I practiced in my head what I would say. 'Mr. and Mrs. Pierce, there's something that I want to tell you…' Best case scenario, they would scold me for being so formal with them, but I didn't want to take the chance of being impolite.

As we came around the corner of the hall and into the kitchen, Susan greeted us with a smile, one that grew larger as her eyes observed our joined hands. Without a word she dropped the dish towel she had been wiping her hands with at the sink and gathered both me and Brittany into her arms.

"Richard! I think Santana and Brittany have something to tell us!" She called over to her husband who was going through papers at the table.

My face grew hot. _Well that throws off my introduction…_

Susan hurried over to stand behind her husband as he looked up from the documents he was going over. Being an accountant meant a lot of paperwork he had always said.

"M-Mr. and Mrs. Pierce, I-" I began shakily only to be cut off by Richard.

"Santana, you know better than to call us that." He raised an eyebrow.

"R-right, sorry I just-"

"You don't have to apologize." He chuckled at my frustration.

"Dad! Stop giving her a hard time!" Brittany sounded exasperated.

"Britt-Bee, I have to give her a hard time! You're my daughter and she's dating you! It's an unwritten rule of the universe that I have to give her a hard time!" He defended with a grin.

"Mom! You told him?!"

"I didn't have to be told, honey bee. I may be oblivious but I'm not _that_ oblivious!" He frowned.

By now my blush had reached the tips of my ears.

"Oh, Santana, don't be all shy with us now!" Susan chuckled.

"But, you're okay with me and Brittany?"

"Of course we are, Santana. We think you're a great girl for Brittany. I'm just glad you got everything figured out." Susan winked.

Beside me, Brittany was blushing too.

Mrs. Pierce excused herself as the house phone rang. After exchanging a few words with whoever was on the other end she returned.

"Santana, that was your mother. She's worried sick and you must have left without your phone, she's tried to call you several times now. She'd like you to come home and explain why you suddenly had to just run out of the house." Susan smirked.

My shoulders sank a little. I didn't want to leave Brittany yet. I had only just got her back.

"Don't worry. You'll see me tomorrow at school." Britt read my mind and rubbed my arm.

She walked me out to my car. But I couldn't get in.

"What if I forget again?" I blurted, looking at my door handle. "What if my concussion messes up my head again somehow? I read somewhere that that can happen. That memories can come and go?"

Her lips pressed to my cheek softly.

"Then I'll remind you." She promised. Only then did I nod and slip into my car to head home.

Not ten seconds after I stepped through the door my mother demanded to know why I had left. I explained her worry away, saying I had to work on a paper with Brittany for French because there was an online deadline and it had to be submitted. She relaxed, telling me off for not mentioning anything about it sooner. I nodded and promised I would stay on top of my school work from now on. Pleased, she left me to head up to my room.

"So how'd it go?!" Rose asked, darting into my room before I could close the door and bouncing onto the bed.

I sighed, joining her on the bed and laying back against my pillows.

"Amazing. Everything is finally right. I've set the record straight." I smiled at my ceiling.

"But you didn't." Rose stated. I leaned up onto my elbows and tried to control the feeling of dread that was already setting in.

"What do you mean? What did I miss?"

"You haven't set the record straight. You're gay. You set the record gay." Rose shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and threw my pillow at her, catching her in the face.

"That was a horrible pun and it made no sense." I told her, shaking my head.

"Oh whatever, you're still smiling about it." She pointed out.

And she was right, I was still smiling. Just not about her joke.

* * *

**A/N: How's that for some progress on Santana's part? What do you guys think of her apologies to Britt, has she made it up to her yet? The next step for her will be telling her parents but that may not happen for a few chapters (maybe two?). There are some other things that are going to happen first… ;)**

**Please review :D :D :D 3**


	15. Ponytails & Painted Nails

**A/N: So… I'm still alive… I won't bother with excuses, instead I'll just ask if y'all are still willing to put up with me to finish this story? I mentioned earlier that I wouldn't abandon this fic and I don't want to take that back.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: **_**Ponytails &amp; Painted Nails**_

Waking up Friday morning the first thing I reached for was my phone. I lay back down with my phone to my ear and smiled when Brittany picked up with a groggy "Hello?"

"I love you." I told her immediately. I could picture her smile as she echoed my words.

We didn't stay on the phone long. Just long enough to make me anxious to get to school and see her.

I was more eager to get to school than I could ever remember being- now that I can actually remember fully.

I felt myself smiling as I slipped on my Cheerios uniform and fixed my hair and makeup. Grabbing my bag and heading downstairs, I stopped only to make and eat some toast quickly before stepping out the door, wanting to meet Brittany at her locker like she usually does for me.

So twenty minutes later I was leaning against her locker in an empty hallway, eyes trained not-so-patiently on the doors at the end of the hall.

It wasn't long before the blonde I'd been waiting for came into sight. The mixed look of surprise and happiness on her face made getting up earlier than usual worth it.

"You're here early." She commented with a wide smile.

"I am. I don't think I've ever been to school this early, I don't know how you do it all the time."

"Well coffee helps." Britt shrugs and opens her locker.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time."

"You plan on getting up early again?!" Brittany gasps theatrically.

"I will if you look this beautiful every morning."

"So you're saying if I show up ugly you'll stop?" She raises an eyebrow.

"You know that's not what I meant, and besides, you could never look ugly. It's just not possible."

I grinned at the slight blush tinting her cheeks. Noticing the hall was still empty I stepped closer and pressed a kiss to her cheek. She turned a moment later and captured my lips briefly.

"Mmm, good morning." I smiled.

"The best morning." She corrected, shutting her locker and lacing her fingers through mine.

"Come on, the library stays empty all morning." She explained, leading me down the hall.

Sure enough, the library was vacant as we move through the aisles to Brittany's favorite study spot. We made our way to the back corner of the library and opened the door of one of the several quiet study rooms there. We forgo sitting in the chairs at the table, taking to the floor instead and leaning back against the wall. Our legs stretched out in front of us and we sat close together, our hips touching. I still couldn't get over how comfortable it all felt, how natural it was for her fingers to be entwined with mine like they were now.

"What are you thinking about?" Britt whispered, running her thumb over my knuckles.

"I'm trying to decide something…" I admit.

"Well I can only help you with that if you tell me what it is."

I bite my lip in an effort to hold back a smile but it peeks through regardless.

"Last night I had the worst time falling asleep. I couldn't stop thinking about how much time it's taken me to get to where I am now, to even start being comfortable with myself. And about how I don't want to waste any more time… So I'm trying to decide where we should go for our first official date."

Brittany face lit up with a grin but she didn't say anything so I rambled on.

"It should be somewhere nice but like- not _too _nice, right? Aren't first dates are supposed to be a casual thing kind of? But dinner and a movie is so overdone, so that's out of the question. And we go to Breadstix all the time so that wouldn't be anything exciting-"

"San." Brittany cut in, smiling wide. "You could literally take me to a gas station for our first date and it would be the best date I've ever been on."

We laughed and she leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my lips. Just a peck really, but we savored it for a moment.

"I wish I could take you tonight, but we have that stupid sleepover after the game. Do you think we could get out of that?"

"That I highly doubt. Quinn would actually murder us." Britt sighed. "But I'm free Saturday night." She winked.

"Saturday, huh. Okay then. Brittany Susan Pierce, would you accompany me this Saturday on a date to Speedway?"

Brittany burst into laughter and shook her head.

"You won't?" I faked hurt and placed my hands over my chest.

"No! I mean yes! I would love to go to Speedway with you, Santana!" She laughed, taking my hands in hers again.

"Score! I'll pick you up at 6 then?"

Britt nodded and pulled me into another kiss. Which turns into another and another. The bell tone sounding from the library is what causes us to separate with a groan.

"As much as I don't want to, we should go. Quinn's probably looking for us." I mention and Brittany pouts.

"Ugh, you're right."

Gathering up our stuff we link pinkies and head out, running into Quinn in the main hall almost immediately.

"Where have you two been? It's game day ladies! We've got pre-class Cheerio rounds to make!" She rants, quickly linking arms with me on my other side.

"I was helping San study for her French makeup quiz this morning, my bad, Q." Britt explains, sharing a smile with me as she does.

We walk the halls with Quinn, checking to make sure all the squad members are in uniform and only having to stop once to fix a pony tail on a sophomore squad member that was not up to regulation. After rounds Britt and I head to French, where I really do have to take my makeup quiz. It doesn't go as badly as I expected it to and I make a mental note to thank Britt for helping me catch up.

* * *

By the end of the day the halls are buzzing with anticipation for the big game tonight. Puck is clearly nervous as he hasn't been acting like his usual gross self all day.

"You're gonna kill it tonight, Puck." Quinn tells him as the four of us head out to the parking lot after school. He nods and meets her eyes giving an almost charming half smile. Brittany nudges my side as she sees it too. We excuse ourselves from their moment, telling Quinn that we'll meet back up with the squad at the usual time for warm ups before the game.

"Want to hang out at my house until then?" I offer Britt and she accepts the invitation with a smile. We race like idiots to my car.

* * *

"Mama, I'm home and I brought Brittany!" I call out as we enter the house. There's no response until rapid footsteps come from the staircase.

"Brittany!" Rose exclaims, nearly tackling her to the ground in a flying hug. Brittany holds on clearly taken by surprise as Rose bounces up and down, her arms still wrapped around the taller girl.

"Happy to see you too, Rosie." She chuckles.

"I'm so happy for you two! I knew it would work out! I didn't doubt you for a second- okay- maybe like _one_ second- but only because Santana was taking foreverrrr to figure it out!" Rose gushes on.

"Rose- could you keep it down a little?" I hush her, expecting our mother to walk into the kitchen at any second as she usually does. She has the uncanny ability to appear out of thin air when I least expect her to.

"Oh relax, sis! Mama's not home, something about working overtime tonight." Rose waves me off.

"Well in that case… I guess now's a good time to tell you that we're having our first official date tomorrow night." Brittany quirked her eyebrows at my sister who let out an ungodly shriek and began jumping around again, this time Brittany joined her.

"Oh my God you two! Seriously what-" I was cut off as Brittany and Rose both pull me into their jumping hug. When Rose finally lets us go we're both shaking with laughter.

"Okay! I'm sorry, I'm just so excited! Where are you taking her? Please don't tell me dinner and a movie! You two are so much better than that!"

"Santana's taking me to Speedway." Brittany informs her in the most serious tone. Rose's mouth drops open.

"No. No, no. No. You CANNOT be serious, Santana! Speedway? What the hell?!"

"Hey! Brittany said she's really excited about it!"

"It's true, I really am." Brittany nods convincingly.

"You are NOT taking her to a gas station, Santana! _Dios mio! Estas loco?!"_

"Take it easy, Rose! I was joking! I'm not taking her to Speedway!"

"Where are you taking me?" Brittany raised an eyebrow curiously.

"It's going to be a surprise."

"Is it really or have you just not thought of anything yet?" Rose cut in with a knowing look pointed at me.

"I have something planned!" I defended myself.

"Okay, tell me what it is! I can keep a secret, we all know that!" She pointed out, bouncing on her toes again.

"Yeah barely." Brittany chuckled under her breath.

"Hey! I didn't say a word!" Rose pouted.

"Excuse me? You dropped me a hint every two hours, Rose." I poked her.

"Well you didn't figure it out from me, so consider the secret successfully kept! Plus I haven't told anyone else about you two so, yeah, I'm totally a trustworthy secret keeper!" She insisted.

"Okay, okay. Settle down! I'll tell you later." I promised. "Now don't you have homework or something to go do?"

"Or something. I'm getting ready to meet up with some friends for the pre-game tailgate. Taylor's picking me up in a bit."

"Then maybe you should go get ready?" I hinted.

"Oh right. I get the hint, okay. I'll leave you two… to it!" She finished, throwing a wink and then heading back upstairs quickly.

"She's such a werido." I shake my head as Rose disappears.

"I think it's cute." Brittany shrugs, looping her arms around me from behind and resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Of course you do. If I didn't know any better I would say you two have a secret crush on each other or something… Anything you need to tell me, Britt?" I raise an eyebrow, turning to meet her eyes.

"You know there's only one Lopez girl for me." She whispers, capturing my lips. I smile into the kiss and keep smiling when she pulls away.

"Okay, you've convinced me."

"Well that was easy." Britt chuckles. "Come on, let's go pack your stuff for the sleepover tonight, then we can go to my house and pick up my stuff. If we're late to warm ups like we were late for Cheerio rounds this morning Quinn's going to have a cow."

* * *

Even though I wasn't cheering with the girls tonight I still felt the pressure. Being a nationally ranked cheer squad meant eyes were on us during every game and they expected to be impressed. Especially with tonight being a playoff game. The stands were tightly packed and there was even a TV crew from the local news televising the game. Even in the locker room I could hear the roar of the crowd. I looked around at my squad members to see they had noticed it as well, many of them seemed nervous as they adjusted their ponytails and performed final touches to their makeup.

"All right, listen up girls!" Quinn called for our attention as Sue entered the locker room.

"Ladies!" Sue's voice echoed through the locker room even without her bullhorn. "As you all know, tonight is a big game. The biggest game this school has had in 15 years. So don't you dare go out there and embarrass me! I want every move perfect out there! Every landing needs to be stuck! If anyone is so much as a half beat off during routine I will personally remove you from this squad." Sue takes a moment to meet everyone's eyes. Then she lands on me.

"Santana!" After four years of dealing with Sue I have conditioned myself not to flinch when she yells my name. Simply remaining unfazed when she yells has earned me a lot of respect from the newbie cheerleaders who nearly crap themselves when Sue so much as breathes in their direction.

"Yes, Coach?" I respond evenly.

"I don't want to see so much as a high kick from you tonight! The last thing I need to worry about tonight is your concussed brain messing up your basic motor skills in front of a stadium full of people so the only thing I want from you tonight is smiling and waving, got it?"

"Yes, Coach." I didn't bother trying to correct her in the fact that I was no longer concussed, not cheering tonight was only a temporary precaution so that I didn't wind up with another, more severe concussion.

Brittany shot me a small smile from the across the locker room as I replied. There was no way I would be putting my newly recovered memories in jeopardy tonight.

"All right then! Be on the sideline in 5 minutes ladies!" Sue bellowed, marching out ahead of us.

Quinn began organizing the girls into the two lines that we enter the stadium in. I was about to head over and help when I noticed Brittany hanging back in the last row of lockers. She knew she was supposed to be in line and the fact that she wasn't there already told me something was wrong. I slipped into the last row to join her out of view of the other girls.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, touching her shoulder gently.

She nodded but I could see the anxiety in her eyes. Brittany was so used to performing in front of crowds whether it be dancing or cheering but there were still times when she got some pretty intense pre-performance jitters. Recognizing that she was currently enduring a case of them I grabbed both of her hands and turned her to face me.

"You're a rock star, Britt. You know the routines inside and out because _you_ made them! You're a three time National Champion and you're going to blow everyone away!" I tell her, leaning in close and speaking quietly. "I believe in you. I know you can do this! Now go show everyone how amazing you are!"

Her lips spread into a nervous smile and she nods, pulling me in for a tight hug.

"I love you, Sanny. Thank you." She whispers.

"I love you too, Britt." I whisper back and give her a quick kiss as we separate. "Are you ready?" I give her hands a squeeze.

"More than ever." She grins and we head out to the lines.

As I lead Britt to her spot in line I glance over the girls, double checking the order.

"Alyssa, you're supposed to be behind Claire, not in front. Switch." I order.

The brunette shoots me a glare before her eyes move down to stare at my hand, still holding Brittany's. I drop her hand fast. Hoping it looked casual and not letting my face show the panic I felt in my gut. I can't help but feel ashamed at the fact that I was too scared to hold Brittany's hand.

_Still such a coward_. I thought to myself but pushed away the feeling. Alyssa still hadn't moved, her eyes only narrowed.

"Move it, Alyssa! Unless you want to be the reason we're late to the sideline. I'll gladly let Coach Sue know you didn't feel like taking a captain's orders. I'm sure she'll be just delighted to hear that." I threaten.

"Sure thing, _Captain._" She muttered, trading spots with Claire, the whole time not backing down from my glare. I turn my back to her, adding just enough extra twist to make sure my ponytail would swing behind me, and took my place at the front of the right line. Brittany had filled into her spot just behind Quinn who headed up the left line.

Pushing open the locker room doors we filed out into the stadium, the lights and noise of the crowd welcoming us out.

Despite her nerves, Brittany executed her every move flawlessly. It was rare that I got to watch her during routines because I constantly had to focus on what I was doing. But now, standing to the side of the squad, I was in awe as she twisted and flipped and stuck landing after landing all while holding a smile.

In the end we lost the game. It had been a close fight but the Vikings had been a step ahead from the start. When the clock finally hit zero the McKinley players filed off the field, helmets hanging low. Quinn called the squad into a huddle.

"Good work tonight ladies! Meet back at my place in an hour okay?" She then pulled me aside as the huddle broke. "I'm going to see Puck when he gets out of the locker room, make sure he's okay. I was a bitch to him all week about this game. Will you go ahead to my house and take over until I get there?"

"Sure, Quinn. Take your time." I give her a knowing smirk.

"Oh shut up and go make sure everyone knows how to get to my house!" She shoves me but I catch a glimpse of the grin she tried to hide.

* * *

Quinn arrives at the sleepover just as me and Brittany finished getting the girls settled into the basement. We lean against the counter in the kitchen as she comes through the door and drop her bag on the table without looking at us. The expression on her face is no less than dreamy.

"What's got you looking so happy, Q?" Britt teases.

The shorter blonde sucks in her lips, facing us. Her cheeks blushing red.

"Oh. My. God. It's finally happened hasn't it?" I laugh and Brittany's infectious giggle rings through the kitchen.

"You two are the worst!" Quinn's smile never falters though.

"Oh whatever, tell us everything!" Britt laughs.

"Wait! Not _everything_, Quinn. I do not wanna know any details about what goes on between you and Puck!" I cut in quickly.

"All I have to tell you two is that as of tonight… Me and Puck, we're officially giving it a try." Quinn shrugged to play it off but her face gave away her excitement.

"Aww! Quinn! I'm so happy for you guys! I mean it took you long enough!" Britt bounced over and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.

"Thanks, Britt. So it's not… weird? I mean we're all friends and I didn't want to make like a rift or anything..." Quinn trailed off.

"Why would there be a rift?" I shrugged.

"I don't know… I just worried that maybe-"

"Maybe what, Q?" Britt nudged.

"That maybe you or Santana had a secret thing for him like I did and didn't tell me…" Quinn rushed out in one breath.

Her statement hung in the air for a second while me and Brittany looked at each other. And then we both burst into laughter. I grabbed the counter for support and Britt hung onto Quinn.

"I'm s-sorry, Q!" I gasp out. "But no- just no…" I struggled to pull myself back together.

Quinn shook her head and broke out of Brittany's hug.

"You guys are so mean!" She busies herself opening cabinets to look for party snacks.

"No, I'm sorry, Quinn! It's not- it's not funny! I'm sorry!" Brittany fights back more giggles, her eyes sparkling at me still.

"Oh whatever- Santana will you just help me find some snacks before these girls get pissy? Britt, how about you go downstairs and use your infectious cheerfulness to keep them from getting pissy?" Quinn delegated.

"You got it, Quinn. I'll go work my magic." Britt chuckled, giving me one last grin behind Quinn's back before heading downstairs.

"So you and Puck, huh?" I raise my eyebrows at Quinn as we raid her kitchen for snacks.

"Yeah, me and Puck." She chuckles. I don't remember ever seeing Quinn acting this weirdly shy. "Are you going to laugh at me again?"

She loads her arms with two liters of soda and I do the same with bags of chips and junk food.

"I'm sorry about that. It's not weird at all Quinn. Britt and I have been watching you two make googly eyes at each other since freshman year. The only surprise is that it's taken this long."

Quinn bites back a smile and shakes her head. We leave the kitchen and head downstairs.

"I don't even know how it happened. I know he acts so gross like _all_ of the time but he's not really like that. Not when you really talk to him. He's actually more civilized than the ape he pretends to be. And we just- we just kind of _happened_, you know?" Quinn trailed off, in her own little world as we reached the bottom of the stairs. I see Brittany sitting on the couch with a few other girls. Her head is thrown back in laughter before she resumes braiding the hair of the girl sitting on the floor in front of the couch.

"Yeah, I know." I tell Quinn but I don't think she even heard me.

"Anyway! So I think me and Puck will be going to Prom together."

"Prom is _months _away, Quinn." I remind her.

"I know that, but it's never too early to start campaigning for Prom King and Queen. Speaking of which… Now that you've kicked Matt to the curb- good riddance by the way, I always thought he was kind of a creep- anyone you have your sights set on for prom? If you plan on running against me and Puck you need to get started fast. You'll need all the time you can get." And I know she's only half joking.

"There is someone actually." I admit. Realizing now might be the perfect time to have this talk with her. She had just told me about her and Puck, and if I can be okay with that then she would be okay with me and Brittany wouldn't she?

"Really? Already? Who?" She turns to face me and I open my mouth to quietly tell her _Brittany_ just as Quinn's name is called from across the room.

"Quinn! Hayley spilled nail polish on the carpet!"

Quinn lets out a groan and sets the drinks down at the table.

"This is exactly why I told Sue that varsity cheer should be juniors and seniors _only_." She mutters under her breath and strides off to handle the issue. I let out a breath, dumping the junk food onto the table. I took a second to think about the fact that I almost just came out to Quinn. And I hadn't felt like hyperventilating.

_That's progress._ I told myself, picking up the potato chips and heading over to drop onto the couch next to Brittany.

"Oooh, chip me!" Brittany tilted her head back and opened her mouth. I laughed, opening the bag and dropping one into her mouth. "Thanks hottie." She winked before looking back to the braid she was working on.

"Emily, don't freak out. But I think I tied your hair in a giant knot." She told the girl sitting below her.

"Brittany!" Emily shrieked, standing fast and running to the bathroom.

"It was a perfect fishtail braid, Britt." I frowned.

"Oh I know. I just wanted to see her freak out." The blonde shrugged and reached for more chips. Shaking my head I handed her the bag. We held eye contact as she shoveled chips into her mouth in the most unladylike way.

"Wow you're so cute!" I mocked the way she was stuffing her mouth full. She flipped her hair and laid back, kicking her feet up and laying them into my lap. "I know, it's a curse!" She sighed dramatically.

I let my hand rest on her bare legs in my lap, running my fingers softly along the skin. I feel eyes on me and look up to see Alyssa glaring at me from an armchair across the room. I let my resting bitch face take over. If she wanted a stare off I'd give her one. After a minute Alyssa broke eye contact and I shot a dirty smirk her way. _You're not top bitch yet, honey_. She pushed off the arm chair, plastered on a fake smile and joined a few of the underclassmen in the corner gossiping.

"Sanny! More chips please!" Britt called. I forgot Alyssa and tossed another chip, hitting a pale nose instead of making it into her open mouth. She laughed and grabbed it off of her eyelid where it ended up landing.

After several hours of painting nails, braiding hair and lots and lots of gossiping. Quinn called for Britt and I to help her bring down stuff for ice cream. Britt shot up with a grin.

"Ice cream! Yay! No promises that we'll save any for you guys!" She called over her shoulder as she pulled me off the couch and tugged me upstairs.

In the kitchen, Quinn had already pulled out the ice cream and toppings.

"I'll take this stuff down, you guys grab bowls and silverware?" We nodded and Quinn headed back down.

"Sooo, what should I wear tomorrow night?" Brittany bumped my shoulder with hers as we picked out spoons from the silverware drawer. "I know you want it to be a surprise but is it like a _casual surprise_?" She chuckled.

"It is a casual surprise, actually." I nudged her back with a laugh. "But be sure to bring a warm coat, and a hoodie wouldn't hurt either." I added.

"What, you're not going to keep me warm enough?" She teased, pressing closer. My cheeks heated at the suggestion. I turned my head to find hers much closer than I expected it to be. Blue eyes dared me to move closer and so I did, so close our noses brush together.

"Oh I could keep you plenty warm." I whispered.

"I guess we'll find out."

I knew she was only teasing but still, my pulse started racing.

I pushed the drawer closed and turned to lean back against it. Hooking my fingers into the belt loops of her shorts I pulled her closer so that our hips pressed together.

"Oh we'll find out alright."

And for as much as Brittany loved to tease me, it turns out she didn't like so be teased so much. Her lips found mine with a sudden urgency that both surprised and excited me. Her hands slipped just under my shirt, ghosting along my skin. Despite the speed at which she had brought our lips together the kiss wasn't fast. It was excruciatingly slow but oh so deep. And as much as I didn't want to break away from it we were still in Quinn's kitchen with an entire cheer squad just downstairs that could come up for any stupid reason. I pulled away, leaning my forehead against hers for a moment before turning around and pulling the drawer open again to blindly grab spoons. I had almost come out to Quinn not an hour ago and now I was too scared to kiss Brittany?

_Progress lost._ I shook my head to myself.

Brittany sensed my change in mood and gave me a little space. Moving to grab some bowls from a nearby cupboard.

"Quinn sent me up for paper towels. Where would those be?" A voice came from the stairway and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Alyssa stepped into the kitchen, her signature fake smile flashing at me. I point to the roll sitting by the microwave and she snatched it up with a snarky 'Thanks _Captain_' before turning and heading back down into the basement. As I listened to the stairs creek under Alyssa's weight going down, I realized I hadn't heard them creaking on her way up.

_Had she seen us?_

Brittany peeked over her shoulder to where Alyssa had disappeared before looking over to me.

"You okay?" She asked quietly.

Grabbing up all the spoons we had picked out I nodded. Placing a quick peck on her lips I put her at ease before starting down the stairs. Coming off the stairs into the basement I dropped the spoons on the table and got out of the way as the girls snatched them up. I looked towards Alyssa who didn't seem interested in desert tonight. She stood against the far wall talking with Macey, another junior on the squad. She looked over at me only once, her face showing disinterest but I knew better than to trust her face. Or her at all for that matter. I kept an eye on Alyssa the rest of the night. She didn't seem to be acting any differently than usual.

_Maybe she didn't see anything._

By the time Britt and I fall asleep sprawled on the couch, our legs draped over each other's, I had forgotten all about it.

* * *

**A/N: Not my best chapter, I was eager to get something out to you guys after so long. I don't deserve a review, I mean it took me almost a year to update which is pretty crazy, but if you're feeling generous and forgiving?...**

_Dios mio! Estas loco?!- Oh my God! Are you crazy?!_


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